Archive for Fear
Are they fear-based thoughts and emotions? Do you feel as if there’s a glass door in front of you but when you look at it you can’t see clearly through it and what you do see is very scary? Is it grimy and blurry? Is there a big green monster looking back at you? Does your heartbeat go up when you look at the door? Do you automatically back away without even thinking any more about going through that door?
How often during the day (and even the night) do you think about that door and what’s beyond it? You know that if you could get out there, you could get what you want and be oh, so happy. But something is holding you back…..
You haven’t even tried the door before you backed away. You don’t even know if it’s locked or not of if with the slightest pressure it will open and reveal the greatness of what is out there for you. There’s no blur or grime – nothing to stand in your way once the door is opened.
FEAR is an overpowering and overwhelming emotion that holds us back from achieving and obtaining so much of what we desire and deserve. It’s the fear that is loading those obstacles in front of us. When we look through our FEAR-filled eyes, our vision is extremely blurred and everything does look monstrous and forboding.
What’s the answer? You just have to decide to first, try the door and see if it’s locked or not. If it’s not locked, then your journey will be so much easier. If it is locked, then you have a few more things to conquer. But right now you don’t even know whether it’s locked or not. Once you’ve decided to see if it’s locked or not, then you simply tell yourself to open the door and focus all your energy and will on putting that foot out past the door jam.
You will be amazed at what will happen. I imagine if it’s like most situations, you’ll be kicking yourself because it turned out just fine. All that you feared didn’t happen. In fact, after you’ve actually gotten out the door, you’ll soon forget what it was you were worried about. You will be totally amazed and will be wondering why the heck you didn’t try this before.
You’d think that would help you the next time but it’s no surprise that the next set of FEAR based thoughts will keep you from venturing through the other door.
Let me give you an example since you’re probably thinking “yes, this is so easy to say but not easy to do.” Believe me I know it’s not easy. I just want to help you make it easier as each situation presents itself.
As most of you know, I finished my 2nd 100 mile event about 3 weeks ago. What I don’t think I mentioned was that at mile 90 my right foot was in agonizing pain. Every step for the next 3 1/2 hours was filled with nauseating pain (the pain that is associated with “bone” pain – which to me was indicative of a stress fracture of one of the long bones in the foot). But despite wanting to cry for a good part of that time and feeling so alone and abandoned, I finished. But I was worried.
Fortunately I had an appointment on Monday with my AIRROSTI provider and felt she could help me figure out what was going on. She agreed that she thought it was a stress fracture. Of course I wanted to know if it was as soon as possible. To make a long story short, I was finally able to get an MRI and it did NOT show a stress fracture. There were some abnormalities visible but nothing to explain the type and location of my pain. Although it was sort of a relief that it wasn’t a fracture, it created more consternation because my foot still hurt and no one knew what was wrong. If it had been a stress fracture I would have known that it would be 4 weeks minimum without running but then I could start running again. Without a diagnosis it was hit or miss as to when I could run again. I was told that after 3 weeks I could try to run again..that put the ball back in my own court. I had to open that door!
So much of FEAR is based on the UNKNOWN. I guess it’s why so many are afraid of the dark and why things always seem worse at night or when the lights go out. When you can’t “see” very far in front of you, your old programming takes over and your imagination goes wild. Your heart rate speeds up, your breathing rate increases, and your anxiety level maxes out. It’s a very similar reaction to our “Fight or Flight” survival physiology. We FEAR the UNKNOWN and want to run away from it rather than standing tall and facing it. In some instances that may still be appropriate but our intellect tells us that we should assess our situation before we decide the response. Or we could even say “ok, I don’t mind initially responding with flight, but when I’ve gotten a bit away, I’ll stop and reassess everything and see if further flight is warranted or if this is something I can handle”. I did the right thing because I shut my body down from running to allow whatever it was to heal. But I didn’t know how long that was going to be. The UNKNOWN consisted of not knowing whether it was going to be healed enough that it wouldn’t hurt; of not knowing if it would hurt or not; of not knowing how far I could get.
The other component of FEAR is “What if”. We are so good at creating imaginary scenarios in our mind and living them and reliving them virtually. And for some reason we always seem to go to the negative scenarios, not the positive ones. What would happen if I went out and ran on it and it hurt? What if it never gets better? What if that means I have to stop running? What if this means I can’t do the New York City Marathon this year? What if, what if, what if?
So, after we stop our flight or flight reaction and reassess what the UNKNOWN really is, then it’s time to play the “What if UP” game. This is an Abraham-Hicks process and is meant to get you to not only look at the other possibilities but also to raise your vibrations. In my case it would go like this “What if my foot doesn’t hurt? What if I can run really well and far without pain? What if I’ve given it enough time to heal? What if I feel really good when I’m out there again? What if everything is fine? What if I was worrying for nothing? And I wasted all that energy on worrying when I could have been doing something positive? That’s key – what if I was worrying for nothing? How many times have you worried about an upcoming event and then when it came along it turned out to be a great thing and one you actually enjoyed and were so glad you experienced. Do we think, then, about the worry? Probably not. But if we used it to learn a lesson about worry, that would be great!
What happened with me? I went out and ran today and was able to do 2 miles (that’s all I intended so as not to push it) without ANY pain. And almost felt normal again. Of course, all my attention was focused on my foot and “oh what was that I just felt?” But no matter how hard I tried (LOL) to make it hurt it didn’t. Now I’m prepped to go out tomorrow and run further and see what happens.
Try the “What if UP” game and see if you can raise your vibration (I guarantee this will do it) and then you’ll be able to move back to the door and reach for the handle….and then actually turn the handle and find out that it’s beautiful outside.
And we also mentioned that you had to know where you are NOW in order to figure out how to get where you want to go, right?
Today’s Abraham quote aligns with that perfectly:
In your moving yourself up the Emotional Scale, your business will begin to prosper in new and profound ways! Your business, your relationships, your finances cannot grow beyond your emotional response – nothing can grow beyond your emotional response. Everything matches your Set-point of emotions on every subject that exists.
Excerpted from the workshop in Tampa, FL on Saturday, December 6th, 2003 # 628
That last sentence is so important – “Everything matches your Set-point of emotions on every subject that exists.”
When setting goals (which unfortunately we don’t always connect to our dreams and that’s why they often are not achieved but that’s for another day), we often tend to be so objective about it and look only at the facts. But it’s really what’s invisible and inside of us that’s key – our emotional set-point, our feelings about these goals. You can “wish” for something all you want but if when you “stop” wishing for a few minutes and realize that you have to “wish” because you do NOT HAVE whatever it is you’re “wishing” for, then you’re attracting more of that lack – more absence. And you know what? Often times that’s because that’s where we’re comfortable. Comfortable is a damaging word for sure – it keeps us from growing beyond where we are right now.
Take some time to look at how you FEEL about where you are and how you FEEL about where you want to go. If there is a sensation of discord, then look more closely at the specific emotions behind that discord. Is it fear? If so, fear of what? When we examine our fears we find out so much about where we are and what is keeping us there. Also, when we begin to examine the fears and get specific about them then we can see that whatever is behind them is not really so frightening at all. When you get specific, you can evaluate where you are and what you want to do about that one particular specific thing.
So your action step today is to determine where you are emotionally in regard to your dreams. If it’s “that was a great dream I had but there’s no way I could ever achieve that because I’m too old” or something like that – stop and examine all the parts to that one sentence and see if it’s really true.
Write all these things down too. It’s important to connect the hand and mind to help you analyze and feel them better. Keeping a record will also help you later when you want to change these feelings and emotions or when you want to measure your progress!
Refusal to do that however, is a sure way to remain stuck in the same rut we’re in.
But to tell you to examine your fears is one thing. To actually do it is another. Often it’s difficult to do this because it involves being able to know what that success is like. Here’s where your visualization and imagination come into play. Remember that visualization is a vital element in creating your Success List. You have to be able to see yourself with that success in your “hands” so to speak. It has to become yours in your mind before it can become yours in the external world. So part of your job in visualizing this success is to see how your life will change and what will be required of you when you hold that success for real.
Let’s take a few examples:
- Weight loss or getting into shape.
What happens when you lose weight? Well, you get lots of compliments and people pay attention to you. Can you handle all that? Are you good at taking compliments? Do you just prefer to fade into the wallpaper? You’ve probably heard that one reason women gain weight is that they’ve been a victim of some sort of abuse in the past and this is their way of protecting themselves from abuse – they try to make themselves unattractive. So what will happen when they take the weight off?
You’ll have to alter your outfits so that will involve shopping and money. Do you have the money and the desire to get new clothes? Will that involve doing something you’ve never done before? Maybe you don’t have alot of money or your spouse doesn’t want you to spend money on clothes or you feel guilty. Or worse yet, you don’t want to get new clothes because you’re afraid that you’ll gain the weight back. This applies to your having to get rid of your old clothes too. There’s that fear of letting go.
These are all underlying fears and they can all serve to sabotage you if you’re not aware and don’t do the clearing (denials) needed to lay the groundwork for a new you.
You’ve all heard that a great proportion of people who win the lottery are broke again in a few years (or less). If you’re going to be prosperous, you have to know more – know how to handle money, how to save, invest, properly pay off bills etc. You also have to have the proper demeanor when you are prosperous. You need to wear the right clothes, go to the right places, behave in the right manner, etc. Are you prepared to change? Do you want to change? Do you want to learn the new things you have to learn? If you’re afraid of money because you’ve already had problems with it before, then you’ll shy away from achieving what you really deserve. If you’ve been told that you’re no good with money, you’ll have that belief that has to be changed to.
Maybe you think that all prosperous people are snobs or greedy or something negative and you don’t want to be like that. That’s certainly a fear and/or limiting belief.
- Improved relationships
This is a big one. If you’re looking for a significant other, there are many changes you have to make. Are you happy living with someone or are you someone who prefers to live alone? Do you have enough closet space for another person or are your closets all full of your stuff? If so, the Universe doesn’t believe you have any real intention of having someone else in your house. What about your garage? Is there enough room for another car? Do you like your freedom and are afraid that you won’t have this freedom once someone else comes into your life – you won’t be able to come and go as you please?
Do you have habits that you might have to change if someone else is in your life? For example, do you get up early to do stuff around the house or to go running? Maybe that new person in your life won’t like that. Are you willing to give that up? Or, are you afraid of having to change all your habits? Do you have animals and are afraid that a new person will not tolerate them? Are you afraid because you don’t know how to cook? Or don’t clean things up like others think you should? Do you have so much stuff that there’s just no room for another person?
There’s so much more to think about that can uncover fears and desires of your own. It’s so important that you look beyond the romantic notion of someone paying attention to you. There’s so many more facets to relationships and you have to anticipate them all and decide if this is really what you want.
Judith Williamson on fear
Napoleon Hill states that fear is nothing but faith in reverse gear. Just as what we think about we become, what we fear we draw toward us. Fear is comprised of worry, and worry is simply negative thoughts that tell our subconscious mind what to focus on and what to manifest in our lives. Most people would disagree with this definition of fear.
Many state that they worry because they do not want what they fear to turn up in their lives. This seems like a logical approach, however, given the way the mind
works we know that what we “see” on the screen of our mind works its way into our reality. Again, what we think about, we give power to and eventually become. Knowing this, it makes perfect sense to stop the worrying process.
How does one do this? Since worry is comprised of a series of negative thoughts that are repeated over and over again, a good way to combat worry is to hold positive thoughts in our mind.
This can be done through affirmations that are repeated over and over again, not just stated one time. If the antidote to worry is to retrain our mind to think positively, then affirmations must be the mental vitamins that we need to take continually to reroute our thinking.
There are seven basic fears: fear of poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love, loss of liberty, old age, and death. Each of the fears is real even if it is only imaginary. It is said that if you think you are sick, you are. This
saying holds true for all of the seven basic fears as well.
Believe that we are poverty stricken, and all the wealth in the world would not convince us otherwise. Believe that we are sick, and no test results to the contrary would heal us. Believe that our freedoms are limited, and we unconsciously limit our freedoms. The list goes on and on. Again, what we think becomes our reality.
Thinking makes it so.
The point in knowing the basic fears is so that we can eradicate them in our lives. Like weeds, they will crop up when we are weak and have not done our mind maintenance. This crop of weeds begins to grow, takes a strong foothold, and soon smothers out all the good seeds that have begun to sprout. Weeds can take over a garden quicker than buds can blossom into flowers. It’s a fact that gardeners know all too well.
Write down a list of what you fear most. Face it head on, put your hand out in a STOP fashion, and refuse to accept the consequence of what you fear. Determine that this fear does not apply to you, that you refuse to accept it, and quickly direct it to retreat to wherever it came from.
When we take the first step in eradicating fear, Napoleon Hill says that we have essentially stopped fear in its tracks. Remember to combat the thing that you fear the most, don’t pet it, don’t feed it, and don’t give it an audience. Show it the door and when it retreats, slam the door shut behind it and throw away the key.
Next, cultivate new things to be faithful rather than fearful about, and the goodness will take root and overcome the bad. Remember affirmations, affirmations, affirmations.
Heal your fears with faith! There is no better way to rid your mind garden of its ugly weeds.