What keeps us stuck? It’s our beliefs and fears (which are based in beliefs).
Consider these 5 fears that often paralyze us:
- Fear of Rejection
- Fear of Dying (or having a bad illness)
- Fear of Disappointment
- Fear of Being Poor (losing your money or not having enough)
- Fear of Being Alone
Fear of Rejection:
If someone is afraid that they will not be accepted by others, then they spend their life trying to figure out if what they say, wear, or do will make another person (or worse yet, personS) think good or bad of them, then they can essentially be paralyzed from doing anything. This is because it’s inevitable that whatever one person will approve of is something that another person will NOT approve of. So, what do you do? Nothing. I spent a good portion of my life altering my life and thoughts dependent on whom I was around. And when I finally realized it, I couldn’t even imagine how I operated for all that time. It was like being a yo-yo and bouncing all around. How stressful was that? Unbelievably stressful.
You have to follow your heart and do things for your own reasons, not because of others. If you’re not sure how others will react, don’t tell them.
Fear of Dying (or contracting a bad illness):
This is another fear that can paralyze someone from taking any type of action at all. Usually, the person will be so engulfed with fear that they spend all their time thinking about their death and how it’s going to happen and then they fear certain activities, knowing for sure that that one activity will bring about their death. Or they sit and think that they should do something before they die but because they are so afraid, they don’t do anything. If if’s fear of contracting an illness, they use most of their energy examining their bodies and every sneeze or cough or other bodily function. With the advent of the internet and search engines, this has become worse. You can even find that hiccups are a symptom of cancer (which it may be in rare situations – emphasis on the word ‘rare’).
Fear of Disappointment:
This can be a fear of being disappointed or of disappointing others.
In the first instance, people don’t get intimate or even develop close friendships because they fear that they will be disappointed. Or they misinterpret another person’s actions as being something against them intentionally when it may not be that at all. This leads to sadness and unhappiness and behavior that leads to problems in that relationship (whether it’s a close one or just a working relationship). And then the person who has been disappointed, is stressed and experiencing emotions that bring them down and prevent them from pursuing their desires.
If someone has a fear of disappointing others, this is paralyzing for the same reasons as above. They don’t do anything for fear it will disappoint someone! They over analyze and then try to mind read what the other person wants them to do. Then if the other person doesn’t respond in a positive, happy way, the sense that there’s been disappointment ensues. And of course, that person is too afraid to ask what’s going on and if they have disappointed. Worse yet, based on the second person’s reaction, someone might change their behavior hoping that the new behavior will make the other happy. Another yo-yo situation. So, you either bounce around or you do nothing. Is that any way to live your life?
Fear of Being Poor:
This is related in many ways to fear of growing old and fear of dying. Many people are afraid of what’s going to happen when they get older or when they stop work because they don’t think they will have enough money to survive – or to survive in the manner to which they are accustomed.
The TV Ads make this worse because they are forever putting on advertisements telling you about how Joe is very afraid that he won’t have enough money in retirement but “OUR BANK/PLAN” will help you prevent poverty, etc. This is one reason I don’t watch much TV. The Ads we are exposed to are horrible fear generators. That’s what they teach you in copywriting too – capitalize on the fears that people have. And if you didn’t have them before you saw the Ads, you will afterwards.
This fear leads either to not spending anything and leading to deprivation (which like with diets, doesn’t last long) or to overspending, thinking “what the heck, if I’m going to be poor, I might as well enjoy it now.”
Remember, though, that the Law of Attraction brings to you what you are concentrating on. So, if you are paying attention to and being afraid of poverty, then that is what you will attract.
Fear of Being Alone:
This is often a consequence of the other fears and leads to further problems because if you are afraid of rejection or afraid of disappointing/being disappointed then you’re liable to stay away from people – the result – you will be alone. Also, with the Law of Attraction – if you think about being alone, that’s what you’ll get.
What To Do?
You do not have to succumb to these fears, however. The first step is being aware that you have fears and then recognizing which ones you have.
Then, you have to clear the land, rid yourself of these fears and stop the momentum.
Try to recognize early that you’re thinking something that is about one of these fears and then try to change the momentum early in the process. Find something you can use to break momentum any time you go start to go down a road that is leading to something you don’t want (for me, it’s a running experience – either in the past or an upcoming one). Go there! Start thinking about that and feeling the way you did (or will) when you were experiencing that event. That should take your momentum in a different direction. You have to keep repeating this process but it will overcome the fears!