Are You “Killing Time”

are youkilling timeIf you remember how important our words are, you’ll immediately see the problem with this age-old phrase. To your subconscious “killing time” indicates that time is bad and you want to destroy it.

That is usually NOT what we want with time. Usually we want MORE time. To talk and think about getting rid of it, not only decreases the amount we have available (actually it’s what we perceive we have available since time is not something we control – our use of it is, however), but also puts us back in the “lack” mode.

We don’t want to be in lack mode for anything – whether it be love, happiness, time, money or anything.

The other issue with this phrase is that it implies you really do have a lot of time on your hands (the opposite of lack but your subconscious hears lack) and you’re not doing anything with it. Go back to the post about living day to day and see if you want to revise what you’re doing and what your purpose in life is.

Pay attention to your words. Words lead to thoughts and then to feelings. Your subconscious mind hears words and interprets them in the way you most commonly think of them. I bet the subconscious really loves the English language with all the various meanings for many words..ha. When you say “I can’t afford…..” the subconscious doesn’t necessarily pay attention to what words follow. It just hears lack and poverty from the “I can’t afford”. So, to it, that is what you are focusing on – poverty/lack. Even if you were going to say “I can’t afford the time away from work to go do x, y, z”, your subconscious mind didn’t get that far. It stopped with the “afford”.

When you are talking about killing time, you are indicating you don’t like time – why else would you want to kill it? You’re talking as if you want to “get rid of more time” by killing it. I don’t think that’s what you’re really trying to do though. You want to spend your time doing things you like to do.

Don’t substitute “spending time” either because your subconscious mind thinks you’re talking about money still. Many folks associate “spending” with money and unless you are in a great vibrational state with your money, you might not want to put the two together inside your mind. “Spending” can also indicate losing it or giving it away and then you’ll be left with the internal feeling that you don’t have enough time.

Instead of “killing time”, elaborate on what it is you’re doing.

  • “I have plenty of time on my hands and I choose to be doing x, y, z with that time”.
  • “I am using my time to bring me closer to my goal of x”.
  • “I have an abundance of time and I choose to use it as a tool achieving my purpose in life.”

I’ll close with the adage that your mother really did know what she was talking about when she said “choose your words wisely” and “Think before you speak”!


Are You Living (Existing) Day To Day?

living day to day 2Take a moment and think about the direction your life is going.

When you get up in the morning do you have a definite purpose to the day or do you just know that you’ll be doing whatever you do every day in the same pattern etc.

Even if it’s a small goal like feeling better by going to the gym a few days a week or going for a walk every other morning or evening, you’ll have a goal and a purpose.

Start out slowly but come up with some goal or purpose to your existence. Consider volunteering or fund raising. Maybe it would just be to try healthy smoothies a few days a week.  Search deep inside of you to find a reason to get out of bed other than that you “have to”.

Don’t you want to be excited to start the day…and continue through it? I know I do. I really was unhappy when all my life was about was getting up, going to work and coming home exhausted while thinking about having to get up the next morning to go to work too. Ugh big time.

When I have other things to look forward to – when it was just working out with Dan, I felt energized because I was working toward a goal. I started with him to try and get rid of the right upper back pain I had been having when walking and I wanted to do a 3 day walk. But then my goals with him evolved. That will happen to you if you just set a small goal to begin with.

Sit down and think about what you would like to do. What would you like to accomplish? Don’t be intimidated by that word – accomplishment means simply that you’ve done something. It doesn’t mean you’ve done something phenomenal that would rock the world. I think too many of us demean our own “small” achievements. We should never do that any more than we should compare what we do to what others do.  You will be happier if you have some purpose to your daily life.

If, perhaps, your life seems to revolve around your spouse and your children and is very hectic, figure out what you are trying to get done with them. Is it to teach them ethical behavior, to have morals, to set goals themselves and then go about achieving them, to provide them with the best all around education you possibly could? I know there is some reason you bust your butt to take them here, take them there or watch their sporting activities. You don’t just do this because you “have to” even if it feels that way right now. Examine what you really feel toward your family and what you want it to become. Perhaps it’s just to keep your kids from experimenting with drugs. That’s a major goal and definitely one worth accomplishing!

According to Abraham our sole aim is to achieve joy. Joy is defined differently for everyone. If you aim to feel joyous every day, then I think you will come up with a purpose even if it’s just for that day.

Don’t exist day to day – you never know when it will be your last day. Go after something every day.  Change it day to day or create a number of goals – short, midterm and longterm. Look into Define and Conquer (even though it says 2013 and says “group”, the audios are now available for replay) for the best methods of defining and achieving your goals.

What i really care about is that you are living for something other than the end of the day!


Start Your Engines….And Your Calendar

stick_figure_holding_checkered_flag_400_clr_3917I learned several years ago that I needed to write down everything that happens – AS IT HAPPENS.

Instinctively I knew this because as an ER doc I’ve seen many people hem and haw when asked about when this symptom started or how long they’ve had something. They simply don’t know. And in medicine it gives us an idea of the seriousness of an issue or even helps with the diagnosis to know things like incubation periods etc.

In life it’s very helpful for you to journal what happens. You can see your progress and you can even see the obstacles in your way.

“But I’m so busy” you say. How to get around that? Most people use a calendar of some sort. I have an old faithful computer program that I simply love. I can put appointments (or events) in the calendar so that at a quick glance I can tell what’s coming up and what has happened.  I can also open that date and add notes to my heart’s content. There is also a section for journal entries. I can store my whole life there.  Even if I write down symptoms and never use them, that’s great. But if I have to talk to a doctor, then I know what’s going on and how long it’s been going on, etc. I can be more informed and take a greater part in my care.

Why do I care? Because at the end of the year at the very least (and usually I like to do it at least every six months if not quarterly) I can look at this calendar, see what’s happened to me and I can calculate how much progress I’ve made in my life and how the various Universal Laws have impacted my life. I can look to see if there are things I’ve done (and even emotions I’ve felt if I’ve recorded them – another good reason to use a journal) that I would have liked to do differently. I can see progress or lack thereof.

“But it’s the middle of the year and I haven’t done anything to this point. I guess I’ll just wait to start at the first of the year.” – WRONG! Start now. Get those engines going right this minute.

Where Do I Start?

square_oneOften I get asked this question – Where do I start?

The first thing I have to ask is “start doing what?” I need to know what you’re after, what your goal is. I can’t tell you how to get to New York if I don’t know a) that you want to go there and b) where you are right now. Sure I could give you general directions to New York City but that would be my determination of where I thought you wanted to go. That’s not what you’re after I’m sure.

So you have to be specific about where you’re headed. Do you know what you want should be the first question. Then you need to know why you want “it”.

Thanks to Michael Hyatt for bringing these questions to my attention. I think they’ll help anyone who is going through any type of uncomfortable “situation” right now. The answers to these questions will help you figure out where you want to go. Sometimes just asking the questions will raise your vibrations and bring you into a much better state. Just as Abraham says – you won’t find the solution as long as you’re focused on the problem. You have to focus on the solution.

The answers we get are often determined by the questions we ask. If we ask bad questions, we will get bad answers. If we ask better questions—empowering questions—we will get better answers.

If you are going through a difficult, uncertain time, here are seven better questions you can ask yourself (and your team which can be defined in any way you want – basically it’s a group of people who are there to book_searching_for_answers_400_clr_12525a support you). You can also just use the questions for any situation you’re in, difficult or not. These questions are great for general life assessment:

  1. What if this isn’t the end but a new beginning? Just asking this question will put you in a better space. It’s always better to think of a beginning than an end. What can you get out of this, what good can come from this situation.
  2. What if the answer to my prayer is just over the next hill? This reminds me of Winston Churchill’s “Don’t ever quit”.  If you stop now, you’ll never know what’s over the hill. What if the hill is just a few hundred feet away and not the miles you think it is. What if it really won’t take the immense amount of effort you think it will? Perception is often said to be reality. You can change your perception of this situation too. You can see that hill as conquerable. You can use the mantra of the ultrarunner – relentless forward motion. Keep on going.
  3. What if this is necessary in order for me to be prepared for the next important chapter in my life? This can be a scary question to answer. But it’s important. When you were ready to start school, you didn’t just start with college did you? You had to build up to that. Similarly, life events teach you about the next step and help you learn to take that step.
  4. What if God (or the Universe if you prefer) knows exactly what I need at this particular time? Again Abraham says that the Universe brings you everything you ask for. But there is the Law of Gestation that I keep talking about. I tell you that if you plant an acorn you can’t dig it up ever day and ask “where’s the oak tree”. But, you also can’t just plant it and keep food and water from it and expect it to grow. There are things that are needed to support that gestation. Same with bringing you what you want. There are steps and the Universe knows what those steps are. Have faith in that.
  5. What does this experience make possible? This is a really important question to ask.  Does it force you to slow down? To re-evaluate your life? To stop spending so much time at work? To spend more time with your family? Does it give you the opportunity and time to write and be creative – to do something you’ve wanted to do for so long? What can you do because of this situation that you were putting off or just “didn’t get to”
  6. What will I be telling my grandchildren that I learned was so valuable in this season of my life? Or if you don’t have grandchildren, what will you write in your memoirs. Another way to look at it is what would you like people to remember about you?

Take these 6 questions and write out the answers. Be serious about it. Date your page (or write in your journal). Write down how you feel and what vibrational state are you in before you start answering the questions. Then take as long as you need to answer them. At the end, record how you feel. Is there a difference? Do you feel as if life is more manageable at this point? What did you learn just from answering the questions? Where do you want to head now?

Use these questions as your starting point. They help with clarity for moving forward instead of staying stuck where you are right now.

Let me know if you enjoy answering the questions.


Is Worry In Your Way?

anxious_scared_figure_400_clr_8434I realized last Saturday that I was letting all my worry about many different things get in the way of my enjoying life and actually making me miserable. What a cruddy way to be living day to day.

What was I worried about? It’s all around my upcoming race in July – the one across the state of Tennessee. I was worried about my gear – which pack should I use? How can I make it lighter? What shoes should I wear? Was I going to get blisters? What if my feet swelled so much so that the shoes no longer worked? What if I couldn’t handle the heat and sun? What if this, what if that? You name it, I could worry about it.

I was doing two long runs every weekend – it had gotten so that I was looking forward to going to work on Monday – can’t say as I ever thought that way before.

I finally had a realization. Why the heck was I worrying so much? Here I am telling people that the whole purpose of life is to experience joy and that we can and should experience it NOW, NOT when whatever it is we’re after manifests itself. And I was doing just what I was preaching against. What a hypocrite.

Despite not wanting to be a hypocrite, I also didn’t like not enjoying where I was right then and there – or more accurately – here and now. I have been looking forward to this run for a year now and here I was making myself miserable as the time drew nearer. I was creating all the bad things that could possibly happen just by worrying. And what good was worrying going to do anyway? Preparation is not the same as worrying.

I knew what I had to do. I knew that I had been down for the count for 9 weeks and although that bothered me and I was concerned that it put me behind the eight ball, training wise, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it at this point. So why keep dwelling on it (aka “worrying”). Did that improve my endurance? Of course not. All I could do was do what I was able to do right now.

What good was worrying about how hot it might be, or how heavy my pack was? Ok, thinking about these two things led me to be able to prepare – I trained in the heat of the day to try to get acclimatized. I wore my pack with all the gear and water I would be carrying for 10 days. That’s preparation. There was no need to worry because there was not a darn thing else I could do and worrying would not make it cooler in Tennessee nor would it help me acclimatize to anything other than more worry.  I think we’re all pretty acclimatized to that – we do it without even knowing that we’re doing it.

So, all worry could do would be to make me miserable and not enjoy my time leading up to the race. And it put me in a negative vibrational state and great things do NOT come when you’re in such a state. I was likely to attract things I didn’t want.

I simply decided to think about the variables and plan appropriately and then enjoy what I was doing. When a problem arose or something that I needed to deal with, I expressed gratitude and appreciation that it had come up prior to the run so that I really could deal with it. That is preparation. There was nothing negative in it at all. I went about enjoying the two days I had left with long runs. Instead of wishing I was home doing something else, I concentrated on the event and how great it was going to be to participate and meet other folks – both runners and those along the way.

I stopped worrying about “what if I don’t finish?” knowing that I would do the best I could and whatever happened, happened. I would only quit if things were really bad for me (injury that would prevent continuing). I was in this to find out what I was made of and that was what would happen. I was not going to lose my job or my pride if I didn’t finish. All of the other people in my normal life wouldn’t even consider trying it. There was no “face” to lose. Just do the best you can, Terrie. And that’s what will happen. I visualize the outcome and that’s what’s important.

If worry is in your way, take a different look at it.  Worry is also a form of fear so look at your fears and find out if you’re really “worried” (socially acceptable) or “afraid” (not so much acceptable).  Are your fears realistic? If so, are they something that would keep you from accomplishing your goal? If so, then reconsider the goal. If not, then acknowledge them and put them aside.

  • Remember why you’re doing what it is you’re doing.
  • Feel the joy that the achievement of this goal will bring.
  • Plan and prepare. Look at any event/thought/obstacle that comes up as part of your preparation. Don’t focus on it, work on it.
  • Enjoy what you are doing right now.