Have I changed the course of my life? To what good?
No matter what good came out of the run across Tennessee, I'm not really sure it was worth it if I can't ever run again. It's been almost 4 months since the event and I am just starting to walk again but still with a fair amount of pain in all areas of my feet.
But trying not to be a hypocrite, I try to practice what I "preach" here and not just write Pollyanna type stuff. So, before I decided to write this post I thought a great deal about it.
You can ask yourself if you made a mistake, but, the truth is, what are you going to do about it now? You can lament the decision(s) you made. You can be upset and regret the outcomes. You can wish you had done things differently. You can be angry, depressed, resentful or anything you want to be. However, none of those questions or emotions can change the way things are right now, can they?
Why would you want to sit around and mope about it? Perhaps because you are grieving a loss. I know I am. And that's OK, too. But, it's so very easy to get wrapped up on that grieving process and to go deeper and deeper into the quicksand. At some point, you just sink and don't want to come back up for air. What good does that do? None whatsoever.
It becomes your job to ask for help from your friends if you can't do it on your own or sometimes it might even require professional help.
The whole point, though, is to realize that you can't do diddly squat about what has happened. You made a decision at the time and now you have to live the life you have right now. Move forward. Remind yourself why you did what you did, be happy that you did it and open your mind to figure out what it is you're supposed to have learned from that event.
Even though in our human mindset it's likely we want to complain about the decision and call it a mistake, if we look at it as a gift and a new door opening, I think we'll be amazed at what will pour through that door. You can make this a good thing or continue to wallow in self-pity. But you're not going to change what happened. You are only going to change what happens in the NOW. That is completely dependent on how you look at "it" and the "results". I am always reminded of the Prisoners of War who survived by living in their minds. They visualized beautiful things, being with family and whatever other positive things they could fill up their minds and imagination with. That is what you have to do. Come up with a new plan of action.
This is easier, of course, if you have many different activities and can now choose from something else. But if you've put your eggs in one basket all this time, it's going to be harder. It can be done, though.
Each day make yourself write down 3-5 things you are grateful for - that have happened as a result of your "mistake". They may be small things or maybe big ones, but reach deep to find at least 3. You can also use things that you want to happen in the future as part of your gratitude list.
This is your only homework. However, you have to make a commitment to say you're going to look at this event, this "mistake" in a positive way and as an open door for you. If you don't make that commitment, you'll be much more likely to sink into the quagmire and forget about your gratitude list.
Promise me you'll do the list - at least 3 things each day that have happened or will happen as a result of your "mistake". Do it every day for at least 2 weeks, then revisit the situation. Embrace what happened to you and see it as a message even if you're still seeking a translation for it.