Refusal to do that however, is a sure way to remain stuck in the same rut we’re in.
But to tell you to examine your fears is one thing. To actually do it is another. Often it’s difficult to do this because it involves being able to know what that success is like. Here’s where your visualization and imagination come into play. Remember that visualization is a vital element in creating your Success List. You have to be able to see yourself with that success in your “hands” so to speak. It has to become yours in your mind before it can become yours in the external world. So part of your job in visualizing this success is to see how your life will change and what will be required of you when you hold that success for real.
Let’s take a few examples:
- Weight loss or getting into shape.
What happens when you lose weight? Well, you get lots of compliments and people pay attention to you. Can you handle all that? Are you good at taking compliments? Do you just prefer to fade into the wallpaper? You’ve probably heard that one reason women gain weight is that they’ve been a victim of some sort of abuse in the past and this is their way of protecting themselves from abuse – they try to make themselves unattractive. So what will happen when they take the weight off?
You’ll have to alter your outfits so that will involve shopping and money. Do you have the money and the desire to get new clothes? Will that involve doing something you’ve never done before? Maybe you don’t have alot of money or your spouse doesn’t want you to spend money on clothes or you feel guilty. Or worse yet, you don’t want to get new clothes because you’re afraid that you’ll gain the weight back. This applies to your having to get rid of your old clothes too. There’s that fear of letting go.
These are all underlying fears and they can all serve to sabotage you if you’re not aware and don’t do the clearing (denials) needed to lay the groundwork for a new you.
You’ve all heard that a great proportion of people who win the lottery are broke again in a few years (or less). If you’re going to be prosperous, you have to know more – know how to handle money, how to save, invest, properly pay off bills etc. You also have to have the proper demeanor when you are prosperous. You need to wear the right clothes, go to the right places, behave in the right manner, etc. Are you prepared to change? Do you want to change? Do you want to learn the new things you have to learn? If you’re afraid of money because you’ve already had problems with it before, then you’ll shy away from achieving what you really deserve. If you’ve been told that you’re no good with money, you’ll have that belief that has to be changed to.
Maybe you think that all prosperous people are snobs or greedy or something negative and you don’t want to be like that. That’s certainly a fear and/or limiting belief.
- Improved relationships
This is a big one. If you’re looking for a significant other, there are many changes you have to make. Are you happy living with someone or are you someone who prefers to live alone? Do you have enough closet space for another person or are your closets all full of your stuff? If so, the Universe doesn’t believe you have any real intention of having someone else in your house. What about your garage? Is there enough room for another car? Do you like your freedom and are afraid that you won’t have this freedom once someone else comes into your life – you won’t be able to come and go as you please?
Do you have habits that you might have to change if someone else is in your life? For example, do you get up early to do stuff around the house or to go running? Maybe that new person in your life won’t like that. Are you willing to give that up? Or, are you afraid of having to change all your habits? Do you have animals and are afraid that a new person will not tolerate them? Are you afraid because you don’t know how to cook? Or don’t clean things up like others think you should? Do you have so much stuff that there’s just no room for another person?
There’s so much more to think about that can uncover fears and desires of your own. It’s so important that you look beyond the romantic notion of someone paying attention to you. There’s so many more facets to relationships and you have to anticipate them all and decide if this is really what you want.
- New job
Wow, there are so many aspects to this one – so many more than you would think! You have to be able to interview well, you might have to be willing to move. What about meeting new people and getting to know them? Is that something you’re comfortable with? What about the fear of success or of letting your new boss down? Or what about leaving the familiar circumstances of your old job where you know what’s expected of you and you can do your job without having to extend beyond your comfort zone? That’s not going to be the case with a new job. You’ll have to learn new things (unless you’re “lucky” like I was). Maybe you’ll have to travel more. Are you willing to do that or do you fear leaving your family, your pets, your house to go away? What about a new wardrobe – dress to impress types of thoughts and fears? What if you don’t like the new job when you get into it? What do you do then?
- More time
What will you do with more time? Are you comfortable with yourself? Some people don’t want to spend time with themselves. They are uncomfortable being alone and always have to be busy. You need to delve into that and figure out why. Maybe you really don’t want to have more time to spend with your family because you know you’ll argue more or you’re afraid that your kids will treat you like a typical interfering parent? There’s all sorts of fears associated with time and that prevent people from having more time. Maybe you’re afraid that in order to have more time you’ll have to get laid off work? Get rid of that fear and know that there are many other ways to have more time in your life.
Once you’ve identified everything that will have to change in your life if you obtain a certain “success”, you’re well on your way to getting rid of that block. You can use a denial on it whether it’s a fear or not. Whatever it is, I guarantee it’s a limiting belief. Denials denials denials! Work with them and then revisit the “success” to make sure you covered everything. Do this whenever you feel you are not getting close to achieving it. You can even do it whenever you ARE getting close to make sure you don’t stop just short. The way to do that is to continue to go thru this process over and over again. You want to uncover anything and everything that is in your way.
Let me know how it’s going. Post your comments below.