Little did I know when I wrote yesterday's post about a daily "To Be" list, that I'd be tested with the really tough ones today. But today I had to be compassionate and unselfish - and it was NOT easy.
My best friend in the world is now visiting with her sister, Crystal and my other babies (Bandit and Bashful). Her quality of life has been a question constantly in my mind for the last few months but she still enjoyed eating and even going for short walks - she would want to go further but her body didn't handle that too well. She would get out of bed when she wanted to and could get up on the bed at will without problems. But this a.m. when I got up and went looking for her (there were thunderstorms all night so it wasn't surprising she was not in bed) she was unable to bear much weight on her hindlegs and pretty much had to scoot around. I knew it was finally "time". The only other sign she could have given me would have been to die at home here peacefully. But things aren't always supposed to be easy for us.
I knew that much as I do not want to be alone, I had to let her go. So we made the lonely trek to the emergency Vet to have her euthanized.
How do you survive the loss of your best friend? I don't know but I know I will survive, albeit not very happily. Time heals all wounds they say and although I have been through this before, it's no easier. I take that back, I guess this one was a tiny bit easier because her condition was chronic and she had been deteriorating. But being easy to make a decision is not the same as feeling any less pain.
There has to be something sublime or beneficial from this but Lord knows I can't think of anything right now. Maybe later....
But that's all for now. Time for tears.