Because we've never been taught what "loving yourself" really means. As children we frequently hear words like, "God won't love you if you're naughty?", "Your mother doesn't really love you, her favorite is your big sister who helps with the dishes." Or, "the baby is the apple of your dad's eye" and so we attach love to working hard for someone else, having a God that is hard to please, Or, a mother who is struggling to keep up with doing for others.
Change your thinking, change your words, change your ideas.
Write this affirmation on cards. Put one by your bed, one in your car, one in your briefcase.
"I am so loved, I am so loving, I am so lovable....everybody tells me so"
When you wake up in the morning, read the affirmation and start a sing-song chant to the tune of The Farmer In The Dell. Everybody knows that song. Don't be concerned about carrying a tune..... change the tune if you like.
Don't be concerned about the words fitting. It doesn't matter.
You are creating and claiming
1) Income of love
2) Outgo of loving and
3) Recognition of being lovable.
That is what matters.
Give this a chance. sing this when getting out of bed, when going to work, when coming home from work and as you go to bed at night. 4 times a day for 2-5 minutes each time.
Within a week's time you will begin to hear others tell you the words you are singing. It does the soul good to recognize how strong your words are when you just claim the things you want.
Leave a comment about how you felt the first time someone told you how lovable you are.