"If you guide through anything other than your own example, it crosses over into the category of control. If you say, 'This is what I've found that works for me, try it if you like.' That's guidance. If you say, 'This is what I've found works for me, and if you don't follow it, you're in trouble,' that's control.
[Excerpted from the workshop: Sedona, AZ on August 31, 2002]
Talk about control - I'm upset right now - I wrote this entire post and hit "publish" and it all disappeared. What is that trying to tell me? That's actually pretty funny 🙂
Anyway - I think we can all benefit from paying attention to this quote. Control is a form of resistance and if we have resistance in our life, we "resist" all the good things that we want to come into our lives. It behooves you to examine your life for whatever types of control you are trying to exert and then see what you can do about it.
You can give advice that's beneficial for others but you lose a lot of energy if you are so invested in the result that you're upset and disappointed if that other person does not take your advice. If you don't like others telling you what you should do with or in your life, why should others take your advice as gospel? Just offer it and then let them decide what will work for them.
Change not only your wording when you offer your opinion to others but change your mind too. Do just that - tell them something that has worked for you, but don't make it sound like or seem that it will definitely work for them. After all, who can eat Subway every day and lose tons of weight - without other lifestyle and mind changes? But you don't hear about those other changes in the advertisements. Look at all the other diet and exercise programs and you'll see the same - "this worked for me, so obviously it will work for you". If you've ever followed some program like that and NOT succeeded, what happens, you don't say "well, there really isn't one size fits all for everyone" - no, you think that there's something wrong with you. Do you want others to feel that way after you've talked to them? I don't think so. Change how you talk to and write to others. Offer them information and let them do what they want with it.
Bottom line is to let go of everything that is not in your control and this includes many things in your own life and mind.