Yesterday, on the way home from the gym I just had all sorts of dread thoughts about how bad Jackie might be because she looked so miserable in the morning before I left. I didn't know if I had over-exercised her the few days before or if it was just a bad day or what had happened. I just knew that when I left for work in the morning she did not look very happy to be here. So my thoughts were very melancholy and dark as I drove home - I even found myself going slower and slower the closer I got to home. That is something very UNLIKE the New Yorker in me - we don't know the meaning of slow.
I was near tears and acknowledged that I had been all day long.
But as I drove the mile down the primary street in my neighborhood I realized that there was something I really COULD do about it. I had a choice even when things weren't going great. I could sit and mope and who would blame me because my best friend, companion, child, whatever you want to call her is on her way to be with her sister. Of course people wouldn't condemn. They would console.
But, I could also choose to raise my vibration and feel as good as I possibly could despite the situation. We have to understand that we really do have control over our feelings and emotions and these are the things that regulate our vibrations and our vibrations are what brings more into our lives. We can actively decide which things we want in our lives - more good or less good.
As a result of hitting myself over the side of my head, I made the conscious decision to make whatever time Jackie had left the best possible for her and for me. Just how am I going to do that? By applying the techniques I've learned.
I started with praise and appreciation, all the while reminding myself that I could use "Which thought feels better" to really make me feel good finally. If I sat and thought about how lonely I was going to be and how I didn't know when it would be the right time etc I would feel miserable. But, I also had the choice to sit and think about how much joy Jackie has given me and how much I love her and all the fun things she's done and how much we've done together. Instead of regretting certain things that were out of my control at the time, I could celebrate the wonderful things - she proved much tougher than I ever thought she'd be and not only lived much longer after her sister died but survived an illness that threatened to take her from me. I reveled in her strength and thanked her for being so stubborn that she wanted to remain with me. I chuckled and smiled and told her what a great being she is.
Every time I started to experience a lower level emotion (remember there really are no negative emotions) I would find something like this to make me grin and look at her and her courage and determination. It truly is amazing how when your vibration raises, you can feel it immediately and it doesn't take much effort at all. You can allow your mind to rule you or you can take control and regulate the thoughts you want to think and the emotions you want to feel.
Try it, you'll really like it. It made our night together alot more fun and enjoyable even though we didn't "do" anything different - Jackie ate just like a puppy and then went back to bed just like an old lady. But she was happy. And so was I.
Which thought feels better? Try it. More later - now I'm going out for a run!