Sometimes you have to get out of your head and go with your gut. Your brain's decisions can be influenced by numerous factors including your past, your beliefs, your mood, etc. It's easy to "change your mind" or worse yet, perhaps, to stick with one idea - kind of digging your heels in and not being able to entertain other possibilities.
I am going to talk about my recent trek across Tennessee again (maybe it's just that I like to try to spell Tennessee each time) but I learned so much from that ten days that my life completely changed because of it.
I had absolutely NO idea why I wanted to participate in a grueling 314 mile race in Tennessee in July where the three H's rule (hot, humid, hilly). I first tried it last year but didn't make it beyond 104 miles. So, it kind of follows that I wanted to not be a quitter and complete it this year. But why did I want to do it even last year? I couldn't tell you UNTIL I finished it this year. I just knew that it had grown on me since I first heard about it in 2013 and followed everyone's experiences - it was during that time that I decided i was going to sign up for it in 2014. If I had had to put down a reason for doing it, I would not have been able to. People kept asking why I wanted to do such an insane thing. I didn't think it was insane. I don't think I really "thought" about it at all. I just "felt" about it. And that feeling was simply a burning desire.
As I trudged along especially after the first five days when my stress fractures manifested themselves, I wondered what the heck I was doing to myself. But, I just knew that I would continue on no matter how much pain I had. I was not about quitting - not until mile 298 that is. And I think that it was that period of time - those last 16 miles - that the reason for my doing the race became evident. It was not clear to me at that time because I was in such pain and so exhausted but it definitely was evident by the time I got home to Texas.
There was so much love, so much strength, so much companionship, so much fun, so much of everything good in that last 16 miles. From bawling my eyes out for 2 miles prior to that point, to trying to sleep for a few hours in the hotel room, to having to cover the 3 miles before I met up with the three most wonderful people in the world (Dorothy, The Tin Man and The Scarecrow), my crew (Marv) kept pushing me to the edge. It seemed no one would believe that I had anything more than just the pain that everyone else has (none of us knew I had developed 4-5 stress fractures in my feet - I just knew that every step was agony).
Once I met up with the Wizard of Oz gang and they welcomed me (Toto) into their ranks with loving and open arms, I felt as if I might be able to do it. It was wonderful to have companionship even when we weren't speaking much. We knew that the others were there and we would NOT let anything happen to anyone.
All the inner strength I realized, all the lessons about myself and my life that I had discovered during that time were surpassed by the experiences of those last several hours. What I experienced was total and complete love and acceptance - there is nothing more in live than love. It was all around me and made all the pain and problems worth it.
The point to all this is that if I had followed my brain, I would never have participated in this run and I would also have probably quit at 298 miles (I knew there was more going on than the usual pains of a race this long and was very concerned that there was irreparable damage). I was at peace with a decision to stop (not quit) but those around me wouldn't let me. Had I allowed my brain to rule, I would not have learned those lessons or experienced that love and acceptance of the last 16 miles (it doesn't sound like much to you but after 9 1/2 days and 298 miles, 16 miles seems insurmountable).
I trusted my gut - in signing up for the race in the first place, in trying it in 2014 and then being determined to return no matter all that was stacked against me in 2015 and then in finishing. It was all intuition and gut based. The brain decisions were totally opposite.
Trust your gut, open your heart, let the Universe bring you what you're supposed to have. Don't resist. If you detect a conflict between your head and your gut, take some deep breaths, relax into the moment and allow Divine Wisdom to come to you. Go with the vibrations and feelings you have inside. Go with what you feel. Don't try to analyze anything and everything. You'll never get anywhere. You'll never take a step forward if you do that.
Remember that everything always works out for you!