When you're focusing time and energy on negative (or less than desirable) things, you are spending time creating more of the same. Is that what you want to do? Always ask yourself that follow-on question. You may surprise yourself and say "wow, I don't want more of this, this is definitely plenty of that thing".
Once you've realized that you're going to create more of what you're focusing on, you can then make a CHOICE as to whether you want to go on in the same vein or completely change what's happening in your life.
We've talked some about CHOICE this week but it's so important to understand that you can and do have a choice as to how you view life and what happens in your life. I keep reminding you about the Prisoners of War that survive and do well by creating beauty, love and happiness in their minds despite being crammed into horrendous environments. Go inside your mind and visualize what you want in your life and what direction you want to be headed.
Pay attention to what you're thinking (focusing on) and also what you're doing physically. Do you come home and just watch TV all night long? If so, what are you watching? Why are you watching TV instead of doing something else. This awareness will reveal a great deal about you - and most importantly TO YOU. You are probably not even aware of WHY you're doing something. That is the key - much more than WHAT you are doing. Are you bored? Are you unhappy and lonely? Are you afraid at night and when you're alone? Are you exhausted? What's going on inside of you? Once you can identify that, then you can go further and figure out why you're feeling that way and what to do about it - if you want to do anything at all - remember you have a CHOICE and can simply choose to continue doing what you've been doing. That's ok as long as you're aware that you made that choice - that it's no one's decision but yours. No one is doing anything TO you.
Even if you feel cruddy, you have a choice to continue to feel poorly and wallow in it, or you can do something - rest, go to the doctor, read, force yourself to get up and do something else and see how you feel then, watch a movie, tell a story, write in a journal - perfect time for your gratitude journal. You're not necessarily looking for some reaction in particular but you're trying to chronicle how you feel when you do certain activities. If you keep trying different things until you feel better (notice I didn't say "good"), then that will tell you what it is that you can do in the future to help yourself feel a bit better.
If you're feeling ok but doing nothing, why? What's up with that? In my case, I am pretty useless in the evening. Some of that is because I'm bored and don't have something special to keep me moving mentally and/or physically when I get home from work. But also some of it is because I get up so very early and by the time I get home after work, I'm beat. I have examined this in great detail and know why I don't do much but I also know that I can do more at night if there's something that's worth it. I feel much better knowing what all is behind it. I think we all feel better with some knowledge, especially when it comes to what's going on inside of ourselves.
Keep a diary for a week or so, write down what you do and what you are thinking about. Then go back and figure out what's behind the action or inaction. What are you feeling? That's the key to everything. What are you feeling? You know how people talk about their "gut feelings" - go inside your own gut and listen to what it's telling you. You are the best physician you know. You know what's going on inside of yourself. Your feelings will help reflect what's going on with your body.
It's just a thought. Try recording what you're spending your time and energy on. Let us know what you discover about yourself if you want.