So here's a hypothetical question but also pretty relative to most of our daily activities if we think about it. What do you do when someone "passes" you? You can translate that into anything that means you interpret someone as doing something better than you if it will be easier for you to think about.
It's happened to me many times and I would feel different things depending on the situation but last week it happened and I actually thought about what was happening. I was on a night time run so it was dark and I had no idea that this guy was going to pass me (usually there aren't that many folks out when I run). I was plodding along as I always do (many people would not even consider what I do as running). All of a sudden this tall guy passed me (going in the same direction as I was) and he seemed to be running fast (of course, my 15 year old arthritic dog would seem to run faster than me too). As he kept moving up over the hill and disappeared from view I started to feel really "down" and depressed. Why? Because he was faster than me and it made me think about how "bad" I was. I felt incompetent, embarrassed, and stupid being out there with the "big guys" - who did I think I was trying to compete with them. I didn't deserve to be on the same road with these talented and 'important' people (I don't even know who he was but I assumed that since he passed me he was important).
But then I stopped my thoughts - not soon enough but at least I did stop them. I asked myself "what the heck just happened here? I was feeling great and happy just a few seconds ago and all of a sudden I feel like cr*p JUST BECAUSE someone passed me. What's up with that? How can I let my mood, and possibly my actions, be so influenced by someone you don't even know and in just a few seconds?"
Think about that. The only difference in those few seconds was that a man I didn't even know ran past me. So what? What does that really mean? I already know I'm slow - that's a given - the whole world knows that. So why did observing something that someone else did change my thoughts and feelings? I know that in 1993 I started running at night because I was embarrassed and full of shame because I was heavy and slow and had no endurance. And I'm still slow and don't have the endurance I should but gees, I did do two 100 mile events in 6 weeks this spring. Why didn't I just hold onto that thought and be joyful in that? Or why didn't I just keep thinking whatever it was I was thinking before he passed me? What caused me to change my thoughts, feelings and almost my actions. I was at the "you should just quit Terrie, there's no way you can do this race in NYC" point. I should know where I am preparation wise without having someone run faster than me.
This one miniscule event and it's subsequent reactions demonstrates how deep some of our insecurities are. And worse yet, the reliving of these thoughts and feelings can derail our current progress. Instead of being down, depressed and ashamed, I should have just been happy I was out there running and that I have the opportunity to go to New York and will do the best I can. I had the choice to feel good, bad, or no change at all. Why do we make choices to feel bad? Is it because it's a habit? Do we think we should be humble and this is the way we feel humble? Do we not know how to feel good for very long and it's uncomfortable? If you look at NLP and the concepts within its teaching, I should use some other event as an anchor and I can use the control panel in my mind to minimize the impact of this guy's passing me. Remember it's all about vibrations. I want my vibrations to be as high as possible and that's how I'm going to make my choices. I want to feel good and I deserve to feel good AND I have the ability to change how I feel.
Think of people "passing" you and how you think or feel. What do you do in response? When someone passes you on the highway or street, what do you think? What do you do?
When someone passes you in production at work, what do you do or think? or more importantly, what do you feel?
Take some time to think about this. Share it with us in the comment box.