Who Are You Bashing? And Why?

smashingI wrote about this in a comment on Facebook a week or so ago but I feel it's so important that we talk about it a bit more.

It's a common practice nowadays to bash people or professions such as doctors or lawyers or politicians, etc. This also occurs within similar professions. As one reader pointed out doctors bash chiropractors, everyone bashes lawyers and on and on. It's as if anyone who might possibly be considered to be in competition is a prime target for you to bash. Why do we do this? Why can't we just congratulate people for their thoughts and actions, their successes and attempts. The more we praise, the more praise that will come back to us.

Make a list of people or categories of people you routinely "put down" (bash). Then on the right side of the paper, put down the reason you do this? This is so important because it usually is directed toward someone we don't even know personally. It would be one thing if you had a personal reason to bash someone else because you felt they wronged you or something like that. But most of the time we don't even have a specific person in mind.

Are you afraid of competition? I had been a victim of this many years ago. I am a Doctor of Osteopathy (D.O.) and the Doctors of Medicine (M.D.) fought against acceptance of my profession for oh so long. They were afraid because D.O.s got better successes while using manipulation as well as all the other techniques that M.D.s knew. We were trained to do more things than an M.D. and instead of embracing that and learning from it, they put up a fight trying to keep people from going to D.O.s and trying to keep the D.O.s from being recognized as a legitimate medical profession.  I am forever grateful to the military because they are the ones who got the D.O.s accepted into the medical healing arts. So you see, I have been bashed and then when you add that I am a female, things got even worse.

On this piece of paper, in another column, write down what your beliefs about this person/group of persons are. Do you believe that all lawyers are shysters? Do you believe that all politicians are crooked? Do you believe that doctors don't care and are only out of the money and don't pay attention to what your problem is? I'm sure that most of you could fill a piece of paper just with your beliefs about doctors.

Once you've finished writing this list, sit back and look at it. Does it still make sense when you're looking at it objectively. Is there any evidence to support your belief? How many of this category of people have you met?  What happened with your interaction with them? How did your interaction with one person influence your beliefs about EVERYONE else in that profession. What would happen if a person you just met and whom you really liked "confessed" to you that they belonged to one of the "groups" on your list? Would you like him/her less?

Use this method to question and reframe your beliefs about people and stop bashing them. Start looking for good in everyone and every category. You can use the Book of Positive Aspects concept with a group of people just as you can with an individual person.  Try it and put down at least 3 good characteristics of that group of people every day. I bet your thoughts will change when you follow these practices.

Let me know what you discover about yourself.

Terrie

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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