Category Archives: Book of Positive Aspects

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Are You a Slow Learner? What’s LIfe Trying To Tell You?

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slow learner Generally when things keep “going wrong” there is a message that you’re supposed to be getting. What usually happens, though, is that we don’t pay attention. We don’t slow down enough to actually “hear” what that message is.

So, then we go along and repeat the exact same action – as they say – we just “rinse and repeat”. Guess what? The Universe will deliver whatever it is we’re paying attention to and focusing on. More of the same comes our way.

Instead of just walking along blindly, falling into the same hole over and over again, slow down or even stop and take a look at what life is trying to tell you. What are you supposed to be hearing? Could it be that you should be more patient? How about less judgmental and more accepting? Maybe you need to learn how to say “no”. Maybe you have to develop outside interests. Maybe you need to pay more attention to your health. Any of these and more are possibilities.

Eventually the Universe will get your attention. But you really don’t want it to get this far, do you? Why experience so much more misery? If you could slow down, listen and make on the spot corrections, then your life could be so much more simple and happy. It’s “ok” to have one bad experience but why go through it so many times?

When you do stop and take some inventory, you will most likely uncover many of your limiting beliefs. Frequently people who experience abuse repeatedly are either a product of abusive childhoods or believe that they deserve to be punished – for just about anything and everything. This is a significant limiting belief and unless you uncover it and work to get rid of it, you really will just repeat history.

  • Figure out what’s happened to make you unhappy at this particular moment.
  • Swallow your pride and listen to what others have to tell you about the cause – even if you have to hear that you’re not the greatest at something or that you have a fault that warrants correction. Although it’s not easy to hear that now, it’s much better than to experience the same tragedy over and over again.
  • Evaluate what others have told you. Put it up against what you think might be going wrong. Was it you? Was it someone or something else? But always remember that we attract EVERYTHING into our lives and it’s our job to figure out what that was and why we keep attracting it. That’s where a large majority of your time should be spent.
  • When you’ve made that evaluation list, examine it and see if you can uncover some of your limiting beliefs? What are they? Go as deep as you can. Do you feel unworthy of love or money? If so, why?
  • Once you’ve discovered these limiting beliefs see if you can identify other events in your life that were based on the same limitations.
  • Write down the limiting beliefs (or other reasons you think this has happened).
  • What are you going to do about it? What actions are you going to take? Maybe you admit that you have to take responsibility for what’s happened and you make an attempt to change the actions or thoughts that have caused the problem.
  • Start a book of positive aspects if it involves other people. Remember to write at least 3 things a day about the other person. I think you can also try this for a situation too even though it was developed for problems with people.
  • The important thing is to journal (even if it’s just jotting short notes) of what happens, what you think, how you’re changing (or not), what you want to keep doing, and what the results are. Write it all down so you can learn from it later.

Try this and stop being a slow learner. Move up the ladder in life by making the changes.

Terrie

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Take Personal Responsibility

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responsiblity clipboardIt’s so often that we want to blame something or someone else for our problems. But, once we’ve embraced the metaphysical teachings, including the Law of Attraction, we have to accept the fact that we really are the ones responsible for everything that happens in our lives.

Although it’s much easier to externalize the blame or put the responsibility elsewhere, it’s not correct. And it’s definitely dis-empowering (not sure that’s a word but it says everything).  If other people or other circumstances are responsible for what happens to you, then you’re like a little bobblehead doll just sitting there waiting for someone to shake you. You can’t move until you’re shaken. Do you want to live like that? I know I don’t.

I met a man last week and joined his coaching program. I got the distinct impression when I met him and (and when I talked on the first coaching call) that he didn’t like me. In the past, I would have just moped around saying to myself (or anyone who would listen) that he didn’t like me….which translates into “poor little ole me……blah blah blah”.

Now, however, I have a much different approach – instead of accepting that conclusion (which, by the way, has no real basis), whenever I start to have that thought I continue to say to myself  “if that’s true, it’s my job to change that and I can do that”. That makes it my responsibility. It means I have to take the action to behave in a way that would turn his opinion around, not just sit and wait and “hope” that he’ll change and magically start to like me. It’s all within my power.

This type of situation often occurs when there are abnormal family dynamics too. If you sit around the BBQ and listen to people talk, it’s always “the mother-in-law’s” fault or the “sister” or someone else. Instead, stop and look at what your part is in the dynamic. If you’re not even part of the disagreeing parties, then you should probably just stop even talking about it. If you are involved, consider using the Book of Positive Aspects to see what can be changed about the situation. Every day write down THREE things about that other person that are good. Sometimes that might be hard but you can even resort to things like “he/she is always clean” or something of the sort until you can come up with another more meaningful positive attribute.

Take the responsibility for your life and your actions. It will make all the difference in the world.

Terrie

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Who Are You Bashing? And Why?

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smashingI wrote about this in a comment on Facebook a week or so ago but I feel it’s so important that we talk about it a bit more.

It’s a common practice nowadays to bash people or professions such as doctors or lawyers or politicians, etc. This also occurs within similar professions. As one reader pointed out doctors bash chiropractors, everyone bashes lawyers and on and on. It’s as if anyone who might possibly be considered to be in competition is a prime target for you to bash. Why do we do this? Why can’t we just congratulate people for their thoughts and actions, their successes and attempts. The more we praise, the more praise that will come back to us.

Make a list of people or categories of people you routinely “put down” (bash). Then on the right side of the paper, put down the reason you do this? This is so important because it usually is directed toward someone we don’t even know personally. It would be one thing if you had a personal reason to bash someone else because you felt they wronged you or something like that. But most of the time we don’t even have a specific person in mind.

Are you afraid of competition? I had been a victim of this many years ago. I am a Doctor of Osteopathy (D.O.) and the Doctors of Medicine (M.D.) fought against acceptance of my profession for oh so long. They were afraid because D.O.s got better successes while using manipulation as well as all the other techniques that M.D.s knew. We were trained to do more things than an M.D. and instead of embracing that and learning from it, they put up a fight trying to keep people from going to D.O.s and trying to keep the D.O.s from being recognized as a legitimate medical profession.  I am forever grateful to the military because they are the ones who got the D.O.s accepted into the medical healing arts. So you see, I have been bashed and then when you add that I am a female, things got even worse.

On this piece of paper, in another column, write down what your beliefs about this person/group of persons are. Do you believe that all lawyers are shysters? Do you believe that all politicians are crooked? Do you believe that doctors don’t care and are only out of the money and don’t pay attention to what your problem is? I’m sure that most of you could fill a piece of paper just with your beliefs about doctors.

Once you’ve finished writing this list, sit back and look at it. Does it still make sense when you’re looking at it objectively. Is there any evidence to support your belief? How many of this category of people have you met?  What happened with your interaction with them? How did your interaction with one person influence your beliefs about EVERYONE else in that profession. What would happen if a person you just met and whom you really liked “confessed” to you that they belonged to one of the “groups” on your list? Would you like him/her less?

Use this method to question and reframe your beliefs about people and stop bashing them. Start looking for good in everyone and every category. You can use the Book of Positive Aspects concept with a group of people just as you can with an individual person.  Try it and put down at least 3 good characteristics of that group of people every day. I bet your thoughts will change when you follow these practices.

Let me know what you discover about yourself.

Terrie

 

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The Easiset Way To Change Others Is To Change Yourself

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stick_figure_telepathy_caps_400_clr_5816You really can’t change someone else. So don’t even try. However, if you change your attitude and outlook, often times it will effect a change in the other person.

If you’re unhappy with a relationship (friend, spouse, significant other, boss, fellow employee, sibling, etc), don’t think that it’s the other person’s fault you’re unhappy. You can make the most of a situation from an internal perspective no matter what’s going on externally. Remember how the POWs in World War II survived in their tiny crowded rooms – they did it with their mental attitude and thoughts. They were able to project themselves away from their present and into the future, or at least into a more pleasant part of their memory.

You can do the same as the POWs – many of you may feel as if you’re a prisoner of war in that relationship so this isn’t that far off.

Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like about the relationship or characteristics of the other person, focus on yourself and your contributions to the relationship. You can also do the “Book of Positive Aspects” where every day you write down at least 3 really good things about the other person. Don’t even go to the negative aspects at all. It make take you awhile to come up with some things but do the simple little things so that you have something good to write. The point of this is to focus on good things about the other person if you have to go there at all. If you can just think about your own happiness (and you can’t say you WOULD be happy if….. if they would change or if you were out of the relationship or if this or if that….”if”s are NOT allowed in this game.

Focus on where you can change or even better focus on what the Universe may be telling you. You attracted this relationship remember. I know you don’t want to believe that but you did. So take a look at it and see what is going on in your head and your emotions that is attracting these things you don’t like or want. Look at your beliefs and see if you can track it down that way. For example, do you believe that all men (or women) cheat on their partner? Was that your experience in your family of origin perhaps? If so, that would follow that you’d developed that belief. Maybe you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy. If so, you’d naturally attract situations  where you wouldn’t be happy. Maybe you think that work should be hard and you should be unhappy at work (struggle). So, you’d attract a boss who would make you work hard or you’d attract situations where you don’t have enough staff or you have incompetent staff and you have to work hard to make up for that. Maybe you believe you’re not good enough for a loving relationship or you don’t deserve to be loved or aren’t worthy of love. What do you think is going to be in your life if that’s your belief? Yep, you got it….the exact circumstances you’re trying to avoid.

Uncover your beliefs, do the Book of Positive Aspects and then see what happens in your life. Many times, your relationship changes for the good. Don’t count on that though or that will defeat the purpose of this exercise. The purpose really is to help yourself feel better in your circumstances no matter what does or doesn’t happen externally.

Think about it; try it.

Terrie

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When You Wish Upon A Star

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when you wish upon a star Given how things have gone for me in the past few months, I probably should also caveat this with “Be careful what you wish for”.  When the Law of Attraction works extremely well in you life (as it does in mine), you often get what you want very quickly – often you haven’t taken enough time to be specific about what you want.

Whatever you ask for, you will manifest. Most of us, however, have passing thoughts like “oh, I’d like that”, or “that would be nice in my living room” – you know, the window shopping syndrome. The Universe will actually manifest each thing you ask for, each and every time. So why aren’t our houses and lives filled like a version of “Hoarding”? Because there is a difference between manifesting and materializing. The Universe manifests everything we ask for but in order for that to materialize in our life we have to allow it in and be ready to receive it. When it’s a passing thought, there isn’t enough focus or desire for it to materialize in your life. You know how we say “act as if” and “focus on having what you want”. Think of it as you putting a homing beacon out for the UPS truck to make it to your door. If you’re on and off about something, then it’s as if the truck is zig zagging around your city or neighborhood instead of making it straight to your house.

This is a good thing for us because often we’ll make quick remarks as a result of some emotional event/situation. And when we say something like “I wish you were gone”, you don’t really mean it but you’ve shouted it out to the Universe! Fortunately this is a temporary feeling/thought and it’s not something you really want to happen.

Once you identify something you really want, don’t leave it at that. Go back and be specific. Define what it is you really want – what color is it, how big or small do you want it, what other parameters are you desiring. This is easy (if you remember to do it) for physical items, but it’s as critical, if not more, with the non-physical items – often because we can’t envision all of the aspects involved. Let me give you my personal example which will make you chuckle. I was feeling “left out” at work with the new “regime” (I really need to learn to like change..ha ha) and wished I was more involved with the new president. Now for the funny part and I am not complaining because I did get what I wanted and I know that I can refine it to be more manageable. I am now constantly occupied with the new president and helping out and talking, reviewing, etc. In addition, I was wanting more people to ask me questions. Now, my office is like a revolving door.  I really am enjoying it because I love to teach and guide BUT (there’s always a ‘but’ if you don’t get specific enough) I can’t get any of the other work done that I have to. You see, all I did was make the two statements – I wanted to be more involved with the president and I wanted more people to ask me questions. I never went any further. There were many ways I could have arranged for everything to happen had I just taken the time to be specific.  I could have said I want the president to consult with me for a finite period of time (I would need to say what that finite period was) or in segments, etc. I could have specified that people ask me questions in the afternoon between 1 and 3 but that it’s just what they do, not that I put out the word that they can only do it then. Why not make it so that the Universe guides them to only have questions during that time rather than me mandating it.

There are many aspects to consider. Make yourself a list of characteristics or parameters you should address when being specific about something. If you’ve made that list ahead of time, then when you’re ready to ask for something, you’ve got the checklist right in front of you. Just remember to be specific.

Here’s some examples:

For a physical wish:

  • What is it you want
  • What color do you want
  • What size/shape/model do you want (31 x 32 x 24 inches for example, or midsize, compact etc)
  • Where do you want it to fit?
  • What kind of maintenance do you want it to require or to pay for?
  • Just think of the characteristics you want and list them all.
  • For a non-physical wish:
  • What is it you want
  • Is it work related, home life, relationships, all of the above – be specific about which part of your life you want it to occur in
  • When (which part of your day, week, month etc) do you want it to occur
  • How should people approach you
  • How often should it happen (occur)
  • How long should an encounter last (if pertinent)
  • Who do you want to interact with

Remember that when dealing with people you can also augment your list and make your wish come true faster by using the Book of Positive Aspects and the Rampage of Appreciation.

All these techniques and laws work together. Just remember to be specific or “be careful what you ask for”.

Have  a great week!

Terrie