Start Working on 2016 Now

year_crush_year_400_clr_17759I told you last week that I was going to concentrate on you preparing your life for 2016 pretty early. Of course, if you listen to the music in the stores now, it’s not too early (I couldn’t believe that the day after Halloween they had Christmas music on already – why couldn’t anyone create Thanksgiving music?).

There are various parts to preparing for the new year.

Today we’ll start with the inventory phase.

1) You should start listing all the things that went on in your life this past year. I like to do that periodically through the year but it’s definitely important now. You can make simple lists of what happened. You can elaborate as much or as little as you want. The point to this list is to help you remember what you experienced and this includes emotions and thoughts. Did one event seem to lead to another? Did you get “down” on yourself or even in yourself because of one or more events? What did you do to get out a funk if you were in one?  Eventually you’ll be using this list to figure out what you want to change for next year.

2) Once you’ve made your list, go back through it and simply put a plus or a minus by each item on the list. Plus means it was  a good experience. Minus means that it wasn’t as stellar as you would have liked. If right now you feel neutral about it, then you can put both a plus and a minus.

3) Go back through the list and see if any of the events led to the next (or another one down the list); kind of a domino effect. If they did, draw a line to connect them. More importantly see if the plus/minus designation is the same for both.

4) If the plus/minuses are the same can you remember what thoughts and emotions you had during these times? This is important because you want to see if there is any connection in your vibrations or if you were successful in recognizing that you needed to change your thinking and then you did so.

5) Can you recognize any patterns? Where there repeated successes? Failures? Illnesses? Injuries?

6) Take another piece of paper and write down the themes you see.

7) Once you have the themes listed, determine if they are patterns you are happy with or not. Mark them on the sheet or put the ones you’re happy with on one side and those you’re not happy with on the other side.

8)Read the lists over again and determine what you want to change; or, what you want to have more of next year.

9) Go through each of the themes and see if you can identify your beliefs (limiting or not) that worked to bring these events into existence or at least what beliefs affected the outcome.

10) How did the Law of Attraction come into play with these events?

Keep reviewing this list for a few days before we go on to phase 2.

Go ahead and get started. Hopefully you’re like me and write everything down on a calendar that you can use for reference.




Reality is Perception

glass_half_full_empty_400_clr_5473 Most of you are used to reading this as “Perception is reality”. I think, in simple terms, they both say the same thing. As Wayne Dyer says “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

I made the “mistake’ of looking this phrase up and was immediately inundated with theories of reality and blah blah blah…I fell asleep reading the scientific and philosophical mumbo jumbo.

It’s really pretty easy for me. What you see and hear really depends on a multitude of factors:

Your heritage and upbringing (people with different backgrounds have different meanings for certain words and phrases)

Your mood (when you’re in a good mood you look at something completely differently from when you’re in a bad mood)

Your beliefs (if you feel that something is against what you believe, you may be offended even if it’s not meant offensively)

Your experience with the “event” (if you’ve had a good experience with something, you’ll believe it’s a good thing…read some product and book reviews and you’ll see what makes someone give an item a poor review – it may just be poor customer service even though the product was ok).

Your education (you may not understand what the event/product/statement is supposed to mean because your education level has either differed from others or it’s related to your upbringing as we discussed above)

There are many other things that can influence how you look at something.

The only way to stop letting these factors interfere with your enjoyment or happiness is to have an open mind and go into every situation saying to yourself that you’ll look at this completely differently than you used to. That is changing your thoughts. And it is the most valuable activity you can do.

If you’re quick to judgement (I would never know anything about that – ha ha), stop yourself after you’ve made that first judgement and re-evaluate. Take a deep breath and write the “thing” on a piece of paper.

Underneath the “thing” write down the possible ways you can look at it. Just write in a free-flow manner.

Once you’ve exhausted your ideas, go back and read over the list.

What do you see? Do you see varying ideas and interpretations? What would make one better than the other? Or, more real than another?

Can you figure out how you want to change your thoughts about this particular situation?

If so, you’ve taken the first step to changing your life to make it the way you want it to be! That is empowerment. That is freedom.

Enjoy the process – that is probably the most important thing of all.



Are You a Slow Learner? What’s LIfe Trying To Tell You?

slow learner Generally when things keep “going wrong” there is a message that you’re supposed to be getting. What usually happens, though, is that we don’t pay attention. We don’t slow down enough to actually “hear” what that message is.

So, then we go along and repeat the exact same action – as they say – we just “rinse and repeat”. Guess what? The Universe will deliver whatever it is we’re paying attention to and focusing on. More of the same comes our way.

Instead of just walking along blindly, falling into the same hole over and over again, slow down or even stop and take a look at what life is trying to tell you. What are you supposed to be hearing? Could it be that you should be more patient? How about less judgmental and more accepting? Maybe you need to learn how to say “no”. Maybe you have to develop outside interests. Maybe you need to pay more attention to your health. Any of these and more are possibilities.

Eventually the Universe will get your attention. But you really don’t want it to get this far, do you? Why experience so much more misery? If you could slow down, listen and make on the spot corrections, then your life could be so much more simple and happy. It’s “ok” to have one bad experience but why go through it so many times?

When you do stop and take some inventory, you will most likely uncover many of your limiting beliefs. Frequently people who experience abuse repeatedly are either a product of abusive childhoods or believe that they deserve to be punished – for just about anything and everything. This is a significant limiting belief and unless you uncover it and work to get rid of it, you really will just repeat history.

  • Figure out what’s happened to make you unhappy at this particular moment.
  • Swallow your pride and listen to what others have to tell you about the cause – even if you have to hear that you’re not the greatest at something or that you have a fault that warrants correction. Although it’s not easy to hear that now, it’s much better than to experience the same tragedy over and over again.
  • Evaluate what others have told you. Put it up against what you think might be going wrong. Was it you? Was it someone or something else? But always remember that we attract EVERYTHING into our lives and it’s our job to figure out what that was and why we keep attracting it. That’s where a large majority of your time should be spent.
  • When you’ve made that evaluation list, examine it and see if you can uncover some of your limiting beliefs? What are they? Go as deep as you can. Do you feel unworthy of love or money? If so, why?
  • Once you’ve discovered these limiting beliefs see if you can identify other events in your life that were based on the same limitations.
  • Write down the limiting beliefs (or other reasons you think this has happened).
  • What are you going to do about it? What actions are you going to take? Maybe you admit that you have to take responsibility for what’s happened and you make an attempt to change the actions or thoughts that have caused the problem.
  • Start a book of positive aspects if it involves other people. Remember to write at least 3 things a day about the other person. I think you can also try this for a situation too even though it was developed for problems with people.
  • The important thing is to journal (even if it’s just jotting short notes) of what happens, what you think, how you’re changing (or not), what you want to keep doing, and what the results are. Write it all down so you can learn from it later.

Try this and stop being a slow learner. Move up the ladder in life by making the changes.


Rewrite Your Story

figure_turning_a_custom_page_15415 I think this will be a series of posts. It’s hard to cover all of rewriting your story in just one. But, as always, we’ll see!

Most importantly, though, you need to assess your life as it is right now. How are you feeling? Do you feel complete? Do you feel as if something’s missing in your life? Are there other things you’d really like to be doing? Why do you think you’re not doing them or why haven’t they come into your life?

Most likely the answer lies deep within – in your inner belief system. And it’s usually your limiting beliefs that get you and hold you back. These limiting beliefs have led to habits and repetitive talk (internal and external) that gives the universe various messages about what you really want. Thus, you are attracting those mixed messages and not attracting what you really want. Usually that’s because of some “I don’t deserve better” belief that’s been ingrained in your inner being for so many years.

I’m not advocating “therapy” or rehashing all that’s happened in your past because we already know that if we do that, we’re likely to attract more. But, it’s important to think about why we do or think certain things.

One way I’ve found that helps is to create your affirmation for whatever you want and then say it. If your mind comes up with a ‘but’ then fill in what comes after that and that will be your limiting belief. For example “I am a millionaire” followed by “but that could never happen to me. Plus, what if it did? Would I have to work harder? I don’t want to work harder?” See how several limiting beliefs are buried in the ‘but’?

  1. It could never happen to me (aka “I’m not worthy”)
  2. followed by a belief that if you make a lot of money you have to work hard.
  3. there’s also the possibility that you’re thinking that to succeed in anything, you have to work hard and you don’t want to.

You could go further if you took the time to fill in everything in the “but” statement but this was just an example.

It doesn’t matter what the cause is for the limiting beliefs – that’s where therapy gets everything hung up.  All we want to know is what’s standing in the way of you achieving the life you want – i.e. your limiting beliefs.

This process could get a bit discouraging as you uncover all your “buts” but (ha ha) just look at it as a list.

More importantly, you want to start writing a real story about how you really want your life to be and what you want to happen.  I recommend doing this in story format – as if you’re writing a script for a play or movie. That allows you to get colorful and specific. The more color and excitement you generate the better you feel and the more your vibrations and momentum get going in the right direction.

I would also suggest you keep writing but if you feel a “tug” when you get to some particular part, then don’t stop but put a star by that section so you can go back later and examine it for limiting beliefs.

Try writing your story for the next six months (or even for a month if you’re very skeptical) first. Read the story over several times and edit it as you go along. When you’re happy with it, read it once a week and make any necessary changes. Then write the next story – you might want to expand it to a year.

Let me know how it’s going.



Courage & Self-Esteem

Radical Self-Acceptance: A Stripped-Down Body Positivity Experiment/Performance from Melanie Flitton Folwell on Vimeo.

I was going to post something else today but when I saw this, I felt it was much more valuable than anything I could write.

I posted this on Facebook this week but want it to remain on my blog because it is so very meaningful and shows courage as well as demonstration of love for others and herself.

She is a champion for others who have had self-esteem issues. She is simply a champion! I applaud her bravery and desire.

I am now certified as an eating psychology coach and want to reach out to anyone who has these type of issues with their body image or weight issues and offer them my coaching services. I am also going to be launching a membership site soon and will definitely let people on this site know if they are interested.

Watch this video several times and reflect on your own self-esteem and self-image and then on how you judge others.