Category Archives: Denials

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When “But” Is a Good Thing

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butMost of the time we think that “but” is a 4 letter word (minus one). It can follow something good and end with something not so good – “you did a great job, Joe….but next time why don’t you do this or that”.  That kind of “but” negates everything that went before it. I bet that you cringed when you even read  the word “but”. Fess up – to yourself anyway.

We often wait for the “but” to drop so to speak. We are so conditioned that someone is going to tell us what we did wrong that we don’t even hear the compliment because we’re waiting for the ‘but’.

But  (sorry, couldn’t resist) today I want to tell you that there is a “but” that is a good thing. In order to use it effectively you have to listen all the way through. Listen to yourself that is. “But” is the easiest way for you to determine your limiting beliefs. I find it hard for folks to realize they have any limiting beliefs because such thoughts are so engrained in them that they don’t even realize they are beliefs. To them these thoughts are “Truth”, no question, no doubt. Remember, though, that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over again. So how on earth can you identify that they are limiting beliefs? By using the power of “but”.

You’ve probably heard the naysayers out there who claim that affirmations are useless and they don’t help you achieve your goals. In some ways these people are correct. You have to clear the land before you can start to build again. The affirmation is the building. There are many ways to clear the land. There are denials, there is EFT, there are many different techniques for clearing your mind and presenting fertile ground for the affirmations to take hold.

Today, though, I want to show you how to use the affirmations to identify your limiting beliefs.

First, make a list of what you want. For example, “I have increased my income by 50% in the past six months”.

Say the affirmation out loud.

Pause at the end of the statement. Is there a “but” (or a “yeah but”)? If so, what follows the but? That is your limiting belief.

Write down all the statements/thoughts following the “but”.

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Fire Your Autopilot and Grab Control of Your Life

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riding_the_winds_400_clr_13990It’s time to take back control of your own life!

“Huh”?  you say. I live in the United States – of course I’m in control of my life…..”aren’t I”?

Have you ever wondered “Why the heck did I do (or say) that? I would never say that (or do that). What was I thinking?” Or, perhaps, you react to something without even thinking about it. And then wonder where that came from.  Here’s something to do for fun (and profit actually). Spend a day or two and write down your reactions and thoughts about things as the day goes on.  I’ll give you an example. We were having an email dialogue with the people at our headquarters the other day. My “roommate” (office mate) sent a great email. Well, the last email that came from the boss said “Let’s do it and end the debate”. My roommate interpreted that as the boss being mad at his last email. When I read it (and another colleague thought the same thing) I immediately thought the boss was telling someone else to just “let it go”.  See how my roommate responded (reacted) to what he read and felt he had done something wrong.  That’s just a tiny example but I imagine if you look at your day AND take the time to write your observations and thoughts down, you’ll see very similar patterns in yourself. They could be bigger than this or even smaller.

What’s happening is that you have all these beliefs embedded in you from your prior experience – your growing up and even now. If we are not paying attention to what’s going into our conscious and subconscious, then things slip in without anyone acting as the gatekeeper.  Then we perpetuate it and continue onward thinking and reacting in the same way over and over again – it becomes a habit and then a way of life.

You don’t want your autopilot (other people’s thoughts and ideas) running your life. Yet, that is what is happening when we’re not attentive to what’s going on with this autopilot. Are your beliefs really yours? Are your reactions yours?

Paying attention and writing your observations down will help you recognize thoughts and actions you don’t want to embrace. Once you notice them, you’ll have begun to identify beliefs that are not your own and beliefs you don’t wish to continue to claim as yours. That is the very first step and is the hardest and most important one.

After this identification, you’ll want to list the beliefs you WANT to choose to replace these.

This part will not happen overnight. Most of those beliefs are long standing – they’ve been ingrained in you since childhood and put there by your parents. So you combine the authority figure feature with the amount of time you’ve had that as a part of your subconscious, you’ll simply set yourself up for failure if you expect to change it in one attempt.

Start by claiming “That is not my truth” every time you start to think something that is uncomfortable for you (a clue that it might not really be your belief) or that you’re uncertain about (another clue). An example is the way that everyone falls into the trap of thinking “flu season is just around the corner” because the TV and radio ads are out there in abundance selling cold and flu products. So we mindlessly accept that there’s a high probability that we’ll get sick in the next month. And when we do, we just accept it as the expected outcome of life. If you start by saying “that is not my truth. I do NOT get sick in the winter time and I do not believe in a flu season”, you’ll start to remove that belief from your subconscious. You also should add “I am healthy all year round” to replace the one belief with one you want to embrace.

There are more techniques but this is the primary way to start.

Terrie

 

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Are You Giving Power To An External Object?

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Sun in control This follows on the post I wrote on Sunday about what mattered most. If you remember, I was disappointed that the store didn’t have the chicken when I went in to get lunch.

What was I doing – other than making myself miserable for no good reason at all?

I was giving power to something outside myself – the chicken, the store, my lunch – all stuff that is out of my control. And which doesn’t really matter anyway in the grand scheme of things. But I was allowing these external objects or forces to control what I was thinking and feeling.

Why? Well, probably because it’s a habit.  I wanted my chicken and expected the store to have the chicken ready when I wanted it.  By itself there is nothing wrong with wanting that. What is wrong is when my happiness is tied to the fulfillment of that expectation – I’ll be happy if the store has the chicken ready and I won’t be happy if the store doesn’t have it ready or they are out of it at the time I go in. I hope you realize I’m baring my soul to you guys because this is really really really stupid. But I do it all the time. I give away the power to be happy – to a store and worse yet to a piece of chicken. You have to admit, it’s pretty funny as well as being stupid. So I hope you’ve gotten some laugh from it.

However, now that you’re done laughing, ask yourself if there is (or are) anything in your life that you are giving power to.

For example, do you think that if you sleep wrong, you’ll get a crick in your neck? Or if you’re under the cold air for a certain amount of time, you’ll “catch” a cold? Or that it’s something in your diet that’s affecting you?

All of these things are external to you. You are giving power to them. It is NOT a universal law or rule that you’ll “catch” a cold if you sit under the air conditioner. If it were a universal rule, EVERYONE would get sick, not just you or select others.  external powerWhen you are “sensitive to” or “allergic to” some food item, you have already given power to that food item and your body has developed its own set of rules regarding that food. Again, however, if that food caused sensitivities, then EVERYONE would have problems with the food.  I realize that is a concept that will go against many people’s beliefs. But remember that a belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over. So, I’m just asking that you look at what you depend on to make yourself happy.

Do you find yourself in a bad mood when your spouse or other relative or friend have a bad day or you’ve had an argument with them? I’m not saying that you should try to show them up and tell them how happy you are despite their terrible loss or bad day or whatever. But, let’s say you don’t get what you’ve hinted at for Valentine’s Day. Should this ruin your day? Should this make you feel as if you did something wrong or that you’re not worth anything? You were happy before you found out what you got for Valentine’s Day. Why would the presence or absence of a specific gift change your happiness? Remember the chicken?

Your feelings should not be dependent on other people either. For you to be happy, you do not need to have others around you be happy. You can feel successful and abundant no matter the state and thoughts of anyone else. Do NOT let someone or something else take your power away. You have control of yourself. Do not give that control and power away. When you start to react to something or someone, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself if your reaction/response is putting the power in something external? If so, pull back and ask why you are doing that and then ask whether you want to give up that control. I bet your answer will be no.

It’s just a matter of awareness. Pay attention – you don’t want to be sick so why let a undetectable virus cause you harm. You do NOT have to give your power over to that tiny external object unless you want to. Is that what you want? Is that what you’ve done all your life? Is this where some of your limiting beliefs are centered? Be aware of your limiting beliefs and then see how many of them are related to external forces. Once you’re aware, you can change. Don’t let the 11 o’clock news impact your sleep so that you aren’t rested and that your “worry centers” are activated. Either don’t watch the news or make sure that you deny that any of it is your truth or state that it no longer has to be your truth. Being aware of what is affecting you and what has affected you in the past will change your life more than you can imagine.

Terrie

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How to Use The People In Your Life To Change Your Life

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Since the Law of Attraction essentially means “like attracts like”, use the people around you to determine your personality qualities. The people in your life that annoy you are the ones you should pay great attention to because these qualities are probably somewhere within you too. Those folks whom you admire are the ones who have characteristics you want to adopt. Use affirmations and denials to clear the old and embed the new.

Make a list of people in your life who irritate you. Write down the qualities they have that bother you. Just keep a running list of these qualities for now. Once you have collected all the people’s names and the characteristics they have that bother you, it’s time to get rid of them. Do NOT make the mistake of trying to decide if you have them or not. It is a high probability that you do and if you try to analyze it, you’ll just talk yourself out of it. “There’s no way I am like that” – I can just hear you now.

For each of these undesirable qualities, create a denial. A denial simply is telling the Universe that there is none of this characteristic in your life. You just fill in the blank “There is NO ____ in my life”. For example “There is no lack in my life”, “There is no limitation in my life”, “There is no disharmony in my life”, “There is no hatred in my life”, etc. Do that for each of the characteristics you don’t like. Read this list of denials every day at least twice a day (morning and night) and if you can do a third time in the day that would be ideal. Read the list over 2-3 times at each session. Ideally you should do this for 7 days.

Now, make a list of the people in your life whom you respect (it can also be people in history that you respect). do the same with this list. Write down the qualities you like and want. Next you take this list and make affirmations out of them. An affirmation must be in the present tense, using positive words and you have to check the combination of your words to make sure you’re not asking for the wrong thing. For example you do not want to say “My life is in harmony” because your subconscious hears inharmony and will bring chaos and discontent to your life. Put another word in between – “my life is in perfect harmony” for instance. Don’t say “my affairs are in order” unless you want to start having affairs.

Make this list of affirmations and do the same as you did with the denials. Read this list 2-3 times every morning and evening and preferably in between. You can also take the affirmations (and even the denials) and put a select group on index cards and take the cards with you and say them at any point throughout the day when you have the opportunity.

Using affirmations and denials will enable you to clear out the qualities you don’t want and embed the qualities you do. It really works. Sometimes you have to continue saying both the affirmations and the denials for longer than you think you should have to but just keep doing it and you’ll see a change in yourself (and your life) within  a month or so.

Although there is an art to making affirmations that don’t get boring, as long as you remember to put everything positively and in the present tense, you can’t go wrong. If you want to learn more about how to create the affirmations check out  Creating Effective Affirmations .

Terrie

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What You Can Learn At An Office Luncheon…

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Who would have thought it? I don’t usually go to the office lunches but yesterday was a retirement and going away lunch for one of the guys so I felt obligated to go.

I ended up trading good for not-so-good.

I asked one of the guys I really like if I could ride with him. He said “sure” and that was alot of fun since we rarely get to talk together since we work in this big open room.

But we got to the place earlier than the others and the guy I was with went to the end of the table. So of course, it didn’t end up being the ones I would have chosen to sit by – at least on one side. On one side it was ok and I had fun harassing the  guy about the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. But on the other and louder side someone ended up sitting with us that really opened my eyes.

I listened to this person for the entire time and wondered which of those qualities I was cringing from were also in me.

You see, we attract people that are like us. Notice I didn’t say that we attract people we like. It’s simply that people around us have characteristics that we don’t necessarily want to have. That was what I found out yesterday.

When I came home from work – after being saturated with the sensation of fingers grating across a chalkboard, I sat down, pulled out my paper and  made a list of what it was that drove me nuts during that experience. I just wrote quickly. Then I looked at the entire list and put check marks by those qualities that I realized were also within me.

I then went back over the list and put question marks by the qualities that I wasn’t sure were inside of me or not (odds are that they are there, though).

Then I went to my computer and made a list of denials using each of those qualities as the basis for one denial. I followed that by creating affirmations that would embed the qualities I really wanted to have inside of me.

For this next 3-5 days however, I will simply say the denials over and over all day long.

After that, I will then say the denials followed by affirmations for as long as it feels right AND I notice the beginnings of some changes in me.

Why don’t you take advantage of what I learned so that the next time you have an experience like mine, you can make the most of it. You know what else I did? I thanked the Universe for letting this happen to me – of course, I used my Gratitude Journal to record that thanks.

This has been another quick tip for making metaphysics work for you! Hope it was helpful.

Terrie