Category Archives: Hostages

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Get an Emotional Hostage Negotiator – A Coach!

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coachingSo often we find ourselves just spinning our wheels. We get into a rut and can’t seem to get out of it. What’s happening in these situations? Why do we seem to spiral downward?

We’ve become an emotional hostage – our emotions are keeping us stuck. For those of you who are old enough to remember, it’s like a record player and the needle getting stuck in the same groove and playing the same section over and over again. The needle moves a tiny bit but then skips right back to the place it started. For those of you who are not that old, maybe you remember the movie “Groundhog Day”. Being an emotional hostage is similar to that. Repeating the same events, the same feelings and thus the same vibrations over and over again without any hope of change.

We don’t want to be stuck and when we get out of that groove we surely don’t want to repeat it but it’s as if we started playing the record again from the beginning – it skips again. If you put yourself in the same or similar circumstances with the same emotional tools as you’ve had all along, all your brain knows is to repeat history. And it’s very good at repeating history – that’s called “habit”. Before you know it, you’ve reacted the same way as you did before , whether it was last week, last month or yesterday. It takes the path of least resistance (and least effort). Unfortunately, that most often leads us right back to that rut again.

So how do you break out of this hostage situation. Think about it. If you don’t make any changes, you are a hostage to your emotions. They have reacted before you’re even aware of it. You don’t want that but you’re not sure how to prevent it since it just “seems to happen”.

You can try Abraham’s processes on your own and be pretty successful but you’ll be more successful if you get yourself a “coach” (a Life Coach, Law of Attraction Coach, Personal Coach – whatever type of coach meets your needs). Often times, it’s just the accountability factor that makes this work but when you really are an emotional hostage, your coach will help you spot these areas and your responses and guide you to creating different methods of response – preceded by thinking about where you really want to be. A primary advantage of using a coach is the speed with which you can make the changes. You don’t have to flounder around on your own, trying this and trying that.

Consider talking to me about Law of Attraction coaching. If you’re interested, you can either comment in the comment box or contact me using the contact form. I am a certified Law of Attraction Coach and have been practicing/teaching the Universal Laws of Metphysics for over 25 years.

Terrie

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Are You Being Held Hostage By Your Emotions?

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Trapped man

As a follow-on to the Emotional Hoarding post from last week, I want you to look inside and see if you are being held hostage by your emotions.

  • Here’s the basic elements of a hostage situation. After I list them, I’ll discuss how this applies to you and your emotions.
  • Hostages (you and your true self) are being held by the hostage taker (emotions)
  • Containment with the threat of force by authorities (you’re paralyzed and unable to move forward)
  • Substantive demands by the Hostage Takers (continue to feel miserable, pay attention to me, don’t move forward, etc)
  • Communication between Hostage Taker and Authorities (Your higher self) – arguing about release
  • A leader amongst the Hostage Takers (which emotion rules)
  • Time
  • Need to live on part of the Hostage Takers (emotions want to keep on going)

Here’s the phases:

  • Initial – violent, brief (lasts as long as it takes for the hostage taker to make the assault and subdue the hostages) – this is the initial trauma you experience. It’s violent and may or may not be brief. But it is over when you start ruminating over the emotions that have blossomed as a result of the hurt or anger.
  • Negotiation – Demand received; authorities on site; it’s the “standoff phase” where nothing physically changes but a lot is developing relationship wise – “standoff” is a great word for our emotional hostage situation. Nothing appears to change but our relationship with these prominent emotions is changing. If your strong self was the higher “being” before, it’s as likely as not that you are trying to negotiate with these (perceived as) negative emotions but it’s also likely that the emotions will win and become the predominant emotions, taking a foremost position in your thoughts and feelings and actions. Are you consumed by hurt, by anger, or even worry?
  • Termination phase – brief, sometimes violent, final phase. There are three possible results:
  • The Hostage Taker surrenders peacefully
  • Police assault and kill the Hostage Taker
  • Hostage Takers demands are met and they escape

Part of the negotiation is to build a rapport and encourage the Hostage Takers to bring about a peaceful conclusion.

Unfortunately, we often do not even try to build a rapport or encourage a peaceful conclusion. Once attacked by the emotional onslaught of a trauma, we give in and just allow these same emotions to rule our being and our existence. It’s like we’re on a very, very small life raft in the vast sea of our mind. We hang on watching everything circulate around us, simply hoping and wishing things would change. But we don’t DO anything. We allow the sea (the emotions) swirl around us battering us up against the life raft no matter which side of the raft we hold on to.

Is this what you want? Do you want your emotions to be in charge of your life?

The first step in correcting this situation and being freed from the Hostage Takers is recognition and awareness.

Then you have to want to change. Believe it or not, many people want to remain in this abyss and be pushed around. When someone once was independent, sparkling and a free thinker, they now have formed this symbiotic relationship with the emotions that keep them paralyzed and unable to move forward. Is this you?

Let me know your thoughts below. Have you recognized what’s going on inside of you? Do you want to do something about it?

Terrie