Category Archives: Focus

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Perfectionism?

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PERFECTION2Happiness and perfection definitely are at a crossroads. It’s difficult, if not impossible, for the two to go together.

Most people who are seeking perfection are not happy. They may create artificial happiness by claiming that they only seek what is best for everyone (the perfect answer) but their life revolves around the quest, not the attainment.

If you repeatedly start over or change something because it’s not perfect, it can be for many reasons. If you are interested and think of yourself as a perfectionist, you might want to examine why you seek that perfection. Your superficial answer may differ greatly from the answer you’ll get if you delve deeper inside of you.

Many people use perfectionism as a form of procrastination (not intentionally of course). But if you don’t keep going or even start on something (especially because things are “not ready because they aren’t yet perfect”), then you don’t have to worry about the result because you’ll never get there. And when you don’t have to worry about the result then you don’t have to worry about the criticism or comments or reactions you’ll get when you do finish what you’re working on. It’s easier to not start or not get very far.

This might be considered the same as “distraction”. People use perfectionism to continually be distracted – so they don’t have to be present, they don’t have to pay attention to what’s going on inside them. If they are repeatedly distracted trying to get something “perfect”, then they don’t have “time” to pay attention to what’s inside them or even what’s around them. Are you trying to escape from the present?

Others use perfectionism to keep from finishing. I guess this could be considered a form of procrastination too. But if you don’t finish then you don’t have to deal with success (or failure) and the attendant issues associated with that. Once you succeed, then people have other expectations of you and you then may feel you have to live up to those expectations. That can be frought with issues – especially the imagined ones. Usually the actual issues are never as bad as the ones we anticipate or worry about. But those anticipated ones are very real in our minds if we don’t stay in the present. Never finishing a project because it’s not “perfect” is a great way to not have to deal with those issues, anticipated or real.

These folks want happiness but can’t ever attain it because they are always seeking something better. But who defines what’s “perfect”? Do we even know what “perfect” is? I don’t think so. You may have your idea of what’s “perfect” but I don’t know that there is a universal committee mperfectionism2aking those determinations. You just drive yourself nuts trying to reach that arbitrary level called “it’s now good enough – it’s perfect”.

Are you a perfectionist? Why? When did it start? Was this something you were taught? Do you consider yourself happy? Can you start AND complete projects without having multiple restarts? Can you then move on to another project once that one is done? How do you feel when you’re working on a project? Does this work create anxiety in you? What are your feelings when you’re about to start a new project?

Answer some of these questions and then more importantly ask yourself if you can “just go with it” whatever “it” is. What is “good enough” for you? Can you get to a point where you can just keep going and accept that it will be very good even if it’s not perfect?

Think about your life this week. What has to be perfect, if anything? Are you happy when you deal with those things? Are there only a few areas of your life that you practice perfectionism? Or are there many? If it’s not in all, what is the difference in how you approach different things? How do you feel about those you need to have perfect and how do you feel about those you don’t get obsessed about?

Terrie

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Don’t Compartmentalize Yourself

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compartmentalizationYou have many aspects to your life. Some prominent ones are listed in this graphic:

  • Work
  • Spirituality
  • Love
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Peace of Mind
  • Happiness

I’m sure there are others that you can add to your own personal list. We have to have a balance of all these facets of our life in order to truly be prosperous. If we spend too much time concentrating on one area, such as work, then the other areas are excluded or minimized. In order to be a well rounded, vibrationally secure person, we need to attend to all of these, not just one or two.

Remember the saying “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? Well, that’s so much more profound than we know. If you direct the majority of your energy in one direction, you will become dull. You’ll use all your cortisol keeping yourself in one all encompassing plane. Usually when we concentrate on only one area we are in a high state of stress response regarding that aspect. We’ve talked recently about the adverse effects of chronic stress response on the body. We are meant to only activate the stress response in times of true threat. But the way we have adapted and adopted our hectic lives today, our bodies feel as if we are under a constant threat so the body responds appropriately. This is NOT healthy for us and eventually leads to exhaustion and even illness – this, then, switches our focus onto negative aspects requiring our attention to try to improve our health or life.

Take an inventory of each aspect of your life. Grade yourself on a scale of 1-10 in each area.

Once you’ve been honest about this, find out where you need to pay more attention. Do you have many friends? Or could you pay more attention to the friends you do have? Are you happy? If not as happy as you’d like, what can you do about this?

Spend some time on this and you’ll have a very balanced life.

Terrie

 

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Momentum Monday

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momentum-monday1“It can be very helpful to understand that you do have a point of attraction and that you can control it. And your best opportunity to control it is when you first awaken each morning. It doesn’t take long to transform your point of attraction; 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 days of waking up in nonresistance and then deliberately focusing to maintain your state of lesser and lesser resistance will make a big difference in how you feel and the things that come into your experience. You will begin to receive insight and positive manifestations such as good-feeling emotions and good ideas will begin to flow to you.”  ~Abraham – Excerpted from the book: Co-creating at Its Best on November 13, 2013

It’s important to realize that all you really have to do is continually focus on the good that you are asking for. This does not mean to focus on what you don’t want to happen such as “I have no debt”. Instead you focus on “everything is paid off and I have so much extra money that I am lavishing in abundance” (or something similar that works for you.

Remember every morning (even before you get out of bed) to take some time to focus on what it is you want. Visualize it, think about it, laugh about it, love on it. Cradle it in your arms visually. Think about how wonderful your life will be when your gift comes to your door!

The early morning is when you have the least resistance. You’ve slept and relaxed and released much of the tension of the previous day. Your body and mind have had a chance to rejuvenate. Pick something you really want and do a trial of 20-30 mornings of focusing for at least a minute (preferably more) on it and the joy it will bring you.  Write down what happens in your life. Then add different times during the day when you can relax or meditate or just deep breathe and then focus another minute on what your life will be like when you have this in your life.

Keep us all posted if your life changes in some way with this simple 1-2 minute a day practice.

Terrie