Category Archives: Perspective

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It’s All About Perspective

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perspective2I’ve had another rude awakening in the past week. Seems like they are coming fast and furious lately. But if they help me and by proxy help you, then so be it.

We always look at our environment with rose colored glasses and with very near sighted vision. If we see things around us at all, we filter them and only absorb what we think will service ourselves. This is not meant to be derogatory but it’s fact. Our Reticular Activating System (RAS) performs this function for us or our brains would be so overwhelmed that we might explode (not really but we’d lose more focus than we do now). It’s easiest to give an example. Have you ever listened to someone or seen an ad for a certain type of vehicle and then for a long time afterwards, you see more of that type of vehicle on the road than you’d ever thought existed. That’s because your attention has now been drawn to that object and the RAS filters your environment and “shows” you all of them around you.

I think we intentionally activate the RAS when we practice daily gratitudes. Whatever we are grateful for will be brought into our field of vision. Then the Law of Attraction will work to bring more of what you’re grateful for into your life.

I have decided that I want to activate my RAS much more frequently and pay attention to those around me that are going through hard times and see if I can help them more. Given the issues I had last week and the fear I was experiencing, I suddenly realized that I could get through this because so many other people that I know or know of  have been through much worse and they are not complaining. So why should I be so frightened? Why don’t I just think about them and send them healing energy while at the same time draw upon their strength. That changed my focus and my attitude completely and allowed me to repeat my affirmation “Everything Always Works Out For Me!” I can’t tell you what a difference that made. My heart rate slowed and I was able to be patient while waiting for any news.

I vowed to keep my filter as wide as possible. As I look around and talk to people, I try to see what’s going on in their life and see if they need anything I can give. That may just be a kind word or an offer to listen to them. But it’s so important to realize that others make it through very tough times every day and it’s humanity’s job to support anyone experiencing that.

Try to take your blinders off and on a daily basis review people you know that are enduring worse things than you. Then express your gratitude for your fortune. After that, try to think what it is that might help them. Then do whatever that is! Think outside your rose colored glasses. Be there for others.

I am grateful I had this experience believe it or not.

See if there’s any difference in what you pay attention to this coming week. Then see if you can carry it through to the holidays – remember that’s when people need help the most.

Terrie

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Reality is Perception

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glass_half_full_empty_400_clr_5473 Most of you are used to reading this as “Perception is reality”. I think, in simple terms, they both say the same thing. As Wayne Dyer says “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

I made the “mistake’ of looking this phrase up and was immediately inundated with theories of reality and blah blah blah…I fell asleep reading the scientific and philosophical mumbo jumbo.

It’s really pretty easy for me. What you see and hear really depends on a multitude of factors:

Your heritage and upbringing (people with different backgrounds have different meanings for certain words and phrases)

Your mood (when you’re in a good mood you look at something completely differently from when you’re in a bad mood)

Your beliefs (if you feel that something is against what you believe, you may be offended even if it’s not meant offensively)

Your experience with the “event” (if you’ve had a good experience with something, you’ll believe it’s a good thing…read some product and book reviews and you’ll see what makes someone give an item a poor review – it may just be poor customer service even though the product was ok).

Your education (you may not understand what the event/product/statement is supposed to mean because your education level has either differed from others or it’s related to your upbringing as we discussed above)

There are many other things that can influence how you look at something.

The only way to stop letting these factors interfere with your enjoyment or happiness is to have an open mind and go into every situation saying to yourself that you’ll look at this completely differently than you used to. That is changing your thoughts. And it is the most valuable activity you can do.

If you’re quick to judgement (I would never know anything about that – ha ha), stop yourself after you’ve made that first judgement and re-evaluate. Take a deep breath and write the “thing” on a piece of paper.

Underneath the “thing” write down the possible ways you can look at it. Just write in a free-flow manner.

Once you’ve exhausted your ideas, go back and read over the list.

What do you see? Do you see varying ideas and interpretations? What would make one better than the other? Or, more real than another?

Can you figure out how you want to change your thoughts about this particular situation?

If so, you’ve taken the first step to changing your life to make it the way you want it to be! That is empowerment. That is freedom.

Enjoy the process – that is probably the most important thing of all.

Terrie

 

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Perfectionism?

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PERFECTION2Happiness and perfection definitely are at a crossroads. It’s difficult, if not impossible, for the two to go together.

Most people who are seeking perfection are not happy. They may create artificial happiness by claiming that they only seek what is best for everyone (the perfect answer) but their life revolves around the quest, not the attainment.

If you repeatedly start over or change something because it’s not perfect, it can be for many reasons. If you are interested and think of yourself as a perfectionist, you might want to examine why you seek that perfection. Your superficial answer may differ greatly from the answer you’ll get if you delve deeper inside of you.

Many people use perfectionism as a form of procrastination (not intentionally of course). But if you don’t keep going or even start on something (especially because things are “not ready because they aren’t yet perfect”), then you don’t have to worry about the result because you’ll never get there. And when you don’t have to worry about the result then you don’t have to worry about the criticism or comments or reactions you’ll get when you do finish what you’re working on. It’s easier to not start or not get very far.

This might be considered the same as “distraction”. People use perfectionism to continually be distracted – so they don’t have to be present, they don’t have to pay attention to what’s going on inside them. If they are repeatedly distracted trying to get something “perfect”, then they don’t have “time” to pay attention to what’s inside them or even what’s around them. Are you trying to escape from the present?

Others use perfectionism to keep from finishing. I guess this could be considered a form of procrastination too. But if you don’t finish then you don’t have to deal with success (or failure) and the attendant issues associated with that. Once you succeed, then people have other expectations of you and you then may feel you have to live up to those expectations. That can be frought with issues – especially the imagined ones. Usually the actual issues are never as bad as the ones we anticipate or worry about. But those anticipated ones are very real in our minds if we don’t stay in the present. Never finishing a project because it’s not “perfect” is a great way to not have to deal with those issues, anticipated or real.

These folks want happiness but can’t ever attain it because they are always seeking something better. But who defines what’s “perfect”? Do we even know what “perfect” is? I don’t think so. You may have your idea of what’s “perfect” but I don’t know that there is a universal committee mperfectionism2aking those determinations. You just drive yourself nuts trying to reach that arbitrary level called “it’s now good enough – it’s perfect”.

Are you a perfectionist? Why? When did it start? Was this something you were taught? Do you consider yourself happy? Can you start AND complete projects without having multiple restarts? Can you then move on to another project once that one is done? How do you feel when you’re working on a project? Does this work create anxiety in you? What are your feelings when you’re about to start a new project?

Answer some of these questions and then more importantly ask yourself if you can “just go with it” whatever “it” is. What is “good enough” for you? Can you get to a point where you can just keep going and accept that it will be very good even if it’s not perfect?

Think about your life this week. What has to be perfect, if anything? Are you happy when you deal with those things? Are there only a few areas of your life that you practice perfectionism? Or are there many? If it’s not in all, what is the difference in how you approach different things? How do you feel about those you need to have perfect and how do you feel about those you don’t get obsessed about?

Terrie

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Perpsective

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perspectiveSo I’m a day late (but NOT a dollar short – think about that common phrase and then eliminate it from your vocabulary – you are NEVER a dollar short….but I digress…already). I should have posted yesterday but I’m still trying to get back in the saddle again after my 314 mile run across Tennessee (see my race report if you want some  fun). I apologize for being late.

I want to say a few words about Perspective. I learned a great deal on my 10 day journey and perspective is one of those things. I will never look at a “mile” in the same way again (by the way, if you’re “dyslexic” in a special sort of way and add an ‘s’ to mile – you could end up with a “s”mile – so put one on your face today!).

As the last day went on, each mile became longer and longer – or so it seemed. And that’s what “perspective” is all about – how things seem. Depending on how you feel that day, whether you’ve got your glasses on, whether you’re in a good mood or not, your take on something can be different from day to day – or even moment to moment.

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“The” Cornfield

Funny because when I was going alone, each mile seemed to be the entire trip around the world. When we only had about 7 miles left, it seemed we had come 4.7 miles very quickly. But I think that was because a) we were all in a small group and b) that meant we only had 2 plus miles to go til the last stretch. We were all surprised when Jay announced that we had come 4.7 miles. We had been talking, stopped at Sonic and trying to have a good time (as best you can after going 300 miles already). My point, though, is that the miles seemed shorter. Then, however, when we got to the blasted cornfield (at the very end), the single mile went on and on and on……FOREVER. That perpsective was a culmination of immense fatigue, climbing up that last mountain and “knowing” the end was supposed to be just around the corner (so to speak).

I always hear that you should put things in the “proper perspective” but you know what? I’m not sure what that means. And I’m not sure because I do not know who is supposed to be able to make that judgement – whose perspective is the “proper” one. I think it means that we should try to figure out what we would think of a situation were we not tired, emotional, hungry, lonely or any other adverse situation. If you’re calm, cool, and collected, then maybe you CAN figure out what the “proper perspective” is – FOR YOU.

Do you ever look at someone and wonder what they are thinking about you? Do they look like they are mad at you, or ignoring you? That’s your perspective. What if they look that way because things aren’t going very well in their lives? It has nothing to do with you. Did you ever think that was a possibility? You have your perspective on how they look and they have their own.

You’ve heard the phrase “perception is reality”?  You can substitute “perspective” for “perception” very easily. Because what matters is how you are looking at something right this minute. What you CAN do for your own mental health, though, is recognize that this perspective MIGHT be different in an hour or in a few hours or maybe tomorrow. Keep that in mind and maybe things won’t look so bad right now. Maybe you can even laugh at what you’re thinking right this minute. Had I had this realization two weeks ago, that last day might not have been so hard on me. I might have been able to laugh instead of cry for miles.

I did have a sincere moment of perspective during the race, though. When there were the shootings of the military folks in Chatanooga, it became more clear that this was “just” a race and so what if I didn’t finish – or if I did? These people had lost their lives and their families would be affected forever. It sure helps to put what you are doing, thinking or feeling at the moment into the proper perspective.

I just offer this for your thought. How has your perspective changed either as you have grown in life or as your circumstances have changed in life?

Terrie