Tag Archives: beliefs

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When “But” Is a Good Thing

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butMost of the time we think that “but” is a 4 letter word (minus one). It can follow something good and end with something not so good – “you did a great job, Joe….but next time why don’t you do this or that”.  That kind of “but” negates everything that went before it. I bet that you cringed when you even read  the word “but”. Fess up – to yourself anyway.

We often wait for the “but” to drop so to speak. We are so conditioned that someone is going to tell us what we did wrong that we don’t even hear the compliment because we’re waiting for the ‘but’.

But  (sorry, couldn’t resist) today I want to tell you that there is a “but” that is a good thing. In order to use it effectively you have to listen all the way through. Listen to yourself that is. “But” is the easiest way for you to determine your limiting beliefs. I find it hard for folks to realize they have any limiting beliefs because such thoughts are so engrained in them that they don’t even realize they are beliefs. To them these thoughts are “Truth”, no question, no doubt. Remember, though, that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over again. So how on earth can you identify that they are limiting beliefs? By using the power of “but”.

You’ve probably heard the naysayers out there who claim that affirmations are useless and they don’t help you achieve your goals. In some ways these people are correct. You have to clear the land before you can start to build again. The affirmation is the building. There are many ways to clear the land. There are denials, there is EFT, there are many different techniques for clearing your mind and presenting fertile ground for the affirmations to take hold.

Today, though, I want to show you how to use the affirmations to identify your limiting beliefs.

First, make a list of what you want. For example, “I have increased my income by 50% in the past six months”.

Say the affirmation out loud.

Pause at the end of the statement. Is there a “but” (or a “yeah but”)? If so, what follows the but? That is your limiting belief.

Write down all the statements/thoughts following the “but”.

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Watch Your Language – What Are You Saying To Your Kids?

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watch-your-language2Remember how we talk about where beliefs come from? Remember that one of the primary embedders of your beliefs were your parents? Yep, it starts at a very early age. Your parents instill the vast majority of your beliefs.

So what? Well, it’s important for us to realize as adults that a belief is just a thought we think over and over – and if our parents have repeated something many times, it most likely now has been chiseled into our subconscious mind like the 10 commandments in stone. The determination of what beliefs come from where and what to do about our own beliefs are subjects for many other posts.

I am addressing this to parents or teachers who are involved with children. You MUST watch what you say to them and around them. If you are constantly yelling, arguing or condemning and criticizing, think intensely about what that is doing to (or telling) your children. Do you really want to teach them your biases and prejudices? Do you want them to hear you talk about safe driving but then watch you text or talk on your cell phone while you drive them to school or another destination? Do you want them to adopt the phrases you use – “I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired. You’re killing me. You ALWAYS let me down. You NEVER pay attention to what I want. Etc” Do you really want them to learn those “Always and Nevers”?  Do you want them to hear you call people names – even if it’s just at a baseball game and you’re mad at the umpire “You stink, you lousy ump”?

Take some time to think about what it is you really do want them to hear and learn. Think of it this way – what do you want them to be embedding in their subconscious that could be traced back to you. Do you want them to be saddled with a belief that they aren’t good enough because you were having a bad day and they didn’t get a 100 on a test. I remember that vividly – I was asked “why didn’t you get a 100, Terrie”. I couldn’t understand why that was the response instead of joy and happiness at the 98 I had achieved.

Think before you speak. I imagine you give that advice to your kids all the time but do you practice what you preach?

If not, maybe you should start. Remember that the beliefs that your children will grow up embracing will have come from you. This has a tremendous bearing on their lives and ability to achieve success in life. Do your best to help them now.

Terrie

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Are You Giving Power To An External Object?

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Sun in control This follows on the post I wrote on Sunday about what mattered most. If you remember, I was disappointed that the store didn’t have the chicken when I went in to get lunch.

What was I doing – other than making myself miserable for no good reason at all?

I was giving power to something outside myself – the chicken, the store, my lunch – all stuff that is out of my control. And which doesn’t really matter anyway in the grand scheme of things. But I was allowing these external objects or forces to control what I was thinking and feeling.

Why? Well, probably because it’s a habit.  I wanted my chicken and expected the store to have the chicken ready when I wanted it.  By itself there is nothing wrong with wanting that. What is wrong is when my happiness is tied to the fulfillment of that expectation – I’ll be happy if the store has the chicken ready and I won’t be happy if the store doesn’t have it ready or they are out of it at the time I go in. I hope you realize I’m baring my soul to you guys because this is really really really stupid. But I do it all the time. I give away the power to be happy – to a store and worse yet to a piece of chicken. You have to admit, it’s pretty funny as well as being stupid. So I hope you’ve gotten some laugh from it.

However, now that you’re done laughing, ask yourself if there is (or are) anything in your life that you are giving power to.

For example, do you think that if you sleep wrong, you’ll get a crick in your neck? Or if you’re under the cold air for a certain amount of time, you’ll “catch” a cold? Or that it’s something in your diet that’s affecting you?

All of these things are external to you. You are giving power to them. It is NOT a universal law or rule that you’ll “catch” a cold if you sit under the air conditioner. If it were a universal rule, EVERYONE would get sick, not just you or select others.  external powerWhen you are “sensitive to” or “allergic to” some food item, you have already given power to that food item and your body has developed its own set of rules regarding that food. Again, however, if that food caused sensitivities, then EVERYONE would have problems with the food.  I realize that is a concept that will go against many people’s beliefs. But remember that a belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over. So, I’m just asking that you look at what you depend on to make yourself happy.

Do you find yourself in a bad mood when your spouse or other relative or friend have a bad day or you’ve had an argument with them? I’m not saying that you should try to show them up and tell them how happy you are despite their terrible loss or bad day or whatever. But, let’s say you don’t get what you’ve hinted at for Valentine’s Day. Should this ruin your day? Should this make you feel as if you did something wrong or that you’re not worth anything? You were happy before you found out what you got for Valentine’s Day. Why would the presence or absence of a specific gift change your happiness? Remember the chicken?

Your feelings should not be dependent on other people either. For you to be happy, you do not need to have others around you be happy. You can feel successful and abundant no matter the state and thoughts of anyone else. Do NOT let someone or something else take your power away. You have control of yourself. Do not give that control and power away. When you start to react to something or someone, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself if your reaction/response is putting the power in something external? If so, pull back and ask why you are doing that and then ask whether you want to give up that control. I bet your answer will be no.

It’s just a matter of awareness. Pay attention – you don’t want to be sick so why let a undetectable virus cause you harm. You do NOT have to give your power over to that tiny external object unless you want to. Is that what you want? Is that what you’ve done all your life? Is this where some of your limiting beliefs are centered? Be aware of your limiting beliefs and then see how many of them are related to external forces. Once you’re aware, you can change. Don’t let the 11 o’clock news impact your sleep so that you aren’t rested and that your “worry centers” are activated. Either don’t watch the news or make sure that you deny that any of it is your truth or state that it no longer has to be your truth. Being aware of what is affecting you and what has affected you in the past will change your life more than you can imagine.

Terrie

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What Story Are You Telling?

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book_character_reading_400_clr_9091What? What the heck are you talking about Terrie? What do you mean by my “story”?

Everything we talk about is in story form in one fashion or another.

There are facts and there are stories that revolve around those facts. The stories vary from person to person. Look at so-called “eyewitness” accounts. They can differ dramatically. It’s all about interpretation. You’ve heard “perception is reality” I’m sure. Well that is true.

And there is a definite vibration surrounding your story. So why not tell the story the way you wanted it to be? “But that would be lying” you say. Not really. You can talk about facts without putting lower level vibrations (also known to some as “negative” vibrations) into them. Let’s take a recent example that I mentioned Sunday about not getting into the 100 mile endurance run I wanted to get into.

Facts:

  • I prepared really well:
    • I wrote in my gratitude journal that I got into this event
    • I had no other activities planned for that day until after the sign up time
    • I rebooted both of my computers and shut down everything that would use up resources
    • I was online on both computers on the right site so that I just had to click refresh
  • I clicked refresh repeatedly when the registration link did not show up
  • I repeated this action for 30 minutes, never getting a live registration link
  • I did not get into the event

Stories:

  1. It’s just not fair that I didn’t get in. I did everything right. It must be fixed so that only certain people get in. Why couldn’t I get in. It’s not fair. They don’t want people to participate unless they are specially chosen. I can’t do anything right. This must mean that all this Law of Attraction and gratitude stuff doesn’t really work. I’m so hurt, sad, disappointed, frustrated. I’m really mad I wasted my whole Saturday.
  2. I didn’t get in. There is a reason and it’s one I can’t see right now but I know that “everything always works out for me” and this will too. I had considered whether the dates of this event were too close to the more important 150 mile event I am going to do for MS so maybe this is the Universe’s way of confirming that. It also means I can find other events to run in. I just have to look and will find something even better for me.

See how the facts are pretty straight forward but the two stories are completely different? And there are multiple variations on the story that I could have written.

Which story do you want to tell? Practice changing your story. We’ll talk more about this later this week but right now it’s time for a run!

Terrie