Whose Dreams Are These Anyway?

It’s getting close to the end of 2012 and the beginning of a brand new era for you. Some might argue that it began yesterday since the world didn’t end 🙂

You should have some idea of the dreams and desires you want to work on for 2013 but these don’t need to be solidified yet…in fact, there really is nothing magical about 1 January either.

What’s more important is that you take your time and get them right.  Write them down and then sit on them. Let them marinate inside of you – allow yourself to “feel” them – are they really YOUR desires and dreams or are they those of someone else? This is the most important part of the entire process. If you’re building a truck, you have to have parts that go with a truck, not a compact car. Although those parts might enable the vehicle to work (shows how much I know about cars), it won’t work like it’s supposed to. The same with goals or desires. You might stick to a resolution for awhile if it’s for someone else, but when things get a bit rough, the desires of others are most likely the first to go. Why? Because you really are not invested in them. Some might last longer than others but the sense of satisfaction of beating the tough times is not there…there may be motivation but there won’t be inspiration. What’s the difference between motivation and inspiration? Motivation comes from an external source whereas Inspiration comes from within. You want inspiration. That will win against all odds.

Here’s the process you should be using over the next several days. Do NOT try to do this in one day. You want to experience emotion while you’re narrowing down what you want to accomplish in 2013. If you’re hurried, you’ll just want to get something down on paper to get it done. This is a formula for failure. So take your time:

  1. Start making a list (if you haven’t already). It can be long right now, that’s ok. This is a list of things you want to accomplish in 2013.  Write them down.Keep writing for as long as you can think of things. Use this as a brainstorming time. Now you may not need to go into great depth here if you already know the major desires you have (for example, I have 3 primary desires for 2013 but I have been nurturing these for a month or two now. Sure there are smaller goals and there are the mini-goals I talked about in the webinar a few weeks ago but the primary ones are fixed in my mind. But I still wrote them down!
  2. Now go do something fun. Come back to this list later.
  3. When you come back, go over your list. Next to each item write the emotion(s) you feel when you think of yourself accomplishing this. Write quickly so that you don’t censor your feelings and emotions – we’re prone to doing that.
  4. Now look over your list and pick out the top 7. The way you know they are your top 7 is to find those with the most positive words next to them – words like “joy”, “excitement”, “enthusiastic”, “exhilarated”, etc. If you didn’t have many to begin with you can pick the top 5
  5. Cross out the others.
  6. Copy these 7 to another sheet of paper – without the emotions written next to them.
  7. Go do something fun again.
  8. Number these 1 through 7 with 1 being the most important desire to achieve in 2013.
  9. Look at this piece of paper and take a deep breath.
  10. Determine whose goal each one is. Next to each item put “mine”, “someone else” (put a name if you know who it is), “not sure” or more than one.  Examples:
    • Lose weight – husband and mine
    • Stop smoking – Mom and dad
    • Get into college – Dad
    • Visit the Grand Canyon – mine
    • Have a new car – mine
  11. Cross out those that do not have a “mine” next to them. This list now may include desires that are yours as well as someone else’s.
  12. Go do something fun.
  13. Return to your list and  renumber them with 1 being YOUR primary desire/dream for 2013.
  14. Rewrite the list in the new order. The ones with “mine” next to them should be at the top of the list.
  15. For the ones that have yourself and someone else next to them,
    • try to determine how much of that desire is YOURS. Put a percentage next to it.
      • For example, “lose weight – 90% mine”.
      • It may be that your spouse’s percent is 90% too but we’re not concerned about that at this point.
      • We just want to know how much this desire is YOURS. If it’s someone else’s too, that’s great because that will add to your support.
      • But it HAS to be yours in order for you to persist toward that goal.
    • Be VERY CAREFUL here, though. Make sure it’s not your goal BECAUSE you want to please someone else.
    • If possible, leave these “multiple personality” desires OFF your list.
  16. Cross out those that do not have 90% or more next to them.
  17. Rewrite your list again. Preferably have only YOUR goals on this final list.

How many do you have on your list?

Go through them and determine if they are all realistic. Notice we’ve left this til the end because we didn’t want you to have any factors influencing you other than whose dreams they are.

If they are not realistic, cross them off the list.

You should be left with about 3 primary 2013 achievements. There should be no more than 5 however.

This is the list you’re going to be working with from now on so take your time with it.


Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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