Generally when things keep “going wrong” there is a message that you’re supposed to be getting. What usually happens, though, is that we don’t pay attention. We don’t slow down enough to actually “hear” what that message is.

So, then we go along and repeat the exact same action – as they say – we just “rinse and repeat”. Guess what? The Universe will deliver whatever it is we’re paying attention to and focusing on. More of the same comes our way.

Instead of just walking along blindly, falling into the same hole over and over again, slow down or even stop and take a look at what life is trying to tell you. What are you supposed to be hearing? Could it be that you should be more patient? How about less judgmental and more accepting? Maybe you need to learn how to say “no”. Maybe you have to develop outside interests. Maybe you need to pay more attention to your health. Any of these and more are possibilities.

Eventually the Universe will get your attention. But you really don’t want it to get this far, do you? Why experience so much more misery? If you could slow down, listen and make on the spot corrections, then your life could be so much more simple and happy. It’s “ok” to have one bad experience but why go through it so many times?

When you do stop and take some inventory, you will most likely uncover many of your limiting beliefs. Frequently people who experience abuse repeatedly are either a product of abusive childhoods or believe that they deserve to be punished – for just about anything and everything. This is a significant limiting belief and unless you uncover it and work to get rid of it, you really will just repeat history.

• Figure out what’s happened to make you unhappy at this particular moment.
• Swallow your pride and listen to what others have to tell you about the cause – even if you have to hear that you’re not the greatest at something or that you have a fault that warrants correction. Although it’s not easy to hear that now, it’s much better than to experience the same tragedy over and over again.
• Evaluate what others have told you. Put it up against what you think might be going wrong. Was it you? Was it someone or something else? But always remember that we attract EVERYTHING into our lives and it’s our job to figure out what that was and why we keep attracting it. That’s where a large majority of your time should be spent.
• When you’ve made that evaluation list, examine it and see if you can uncover some of your limiting beliefs? What are they? Go as deep as you can. Do you feel unworthy of love or money? If so, why?
• Once you’ve discovered these limiting beliefs see if you can identify other events in your life that were based on the same limitations.
• Write down the limiting beliefs (or other reasons you think this has happened).
• What are you going to do about it? What actions are you going to take? Maybe you admit that you have to take responsibility for what’s happened and you make an attempt to change the actions or thoughts that have caused the problem.
• Start a book of positive aspects if it involves other people. Remember to write at least 3 things a day about the other person. I think you can also try this for a situation too even though it was developed for problems with people.
• The important thing is to journal (even if it’s just jotting short notes) of what happens, what you think, how you’re changing (or not), what you want to keep doing, and what the results are. Write it all down so you can learn from it later.

Try this and stop being a slow learner. Move up the ladder in life by making the changes.

Terrie

The post Are You a Slow Learner? What’s LIfe Trying To Tell You? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

It’s so often that we want to blame something or someone else for our problems. But, once we’ve embraced the metaphysical teachings, including the Law of Attraction, we have to accept the fact that we really are the ones responsible for everything that happens in our lives.

Although it’s much easier to externalize the blame or put the responsibility elsewhere, it’s not correct. And it’s definitely dis-empowering (not sure that’s a word but it says everything).  If other people or other circumstances are responsible for what happens to you, then you’re like a little bobblehead doll just sitting there waiting for someone to shake you. You can’t move until you’re shaken. Do you want to live like that? I know I don’t.

I met a man last week and joined his coaching program. I got the distinct impression when I met him and (and when I talked on the first coaching call) that he didn’t like me. In the past, I would have just moped around saying to myself (or anyone who would listen) that he didn’t like me….which translates into “poor little ole me……blah blah blah”.

Now, however, I have a much different approach – instead of accepting that conclusion (which, by the way, has no real basis), whenever I start to have that thought I continue to say to myself  “if that’s true, it’s my job to change that and I can do that”. That makes it my responsibility. It means I have to take the action to behave in a way that would turn his opinion around, not just sit and wait and “hope” that he’ll change and magically start to like me. It’s all within my power.

This type of situation often occurs when there are abnormal family dynamics too. If you sit around the BBQ and listen to people talk, it’s always “the mother-in-law’s” fault or the “sister” or someone else. Instead, stop and look at what your part is in the dynamic. If you’re not even part of the disagreeing parties, then you should probably just stop even talking about it. If you are involved, consider using the Book of Positive Aspects to see what can be changed about the situation. Every day write down THREE things about that other person that are good. Sometimes that might be hard but you can even resort to things like “he/she is always clean” or something of the sort until you can come up with another more meaningful positive attribute.

Take the responsibility for your life and your actions. It will make all the difference in the world.

Terrie

The post Take Personal Responsibility first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

I wrote about this in a comment on Facebook a week or so ago but I feel it’s so important that we talk about it a bit more.

It’s a common practice nowadays to bash people or professions such as doctors or lawyers or politicians, etc. This also occurs within similar professions. As one reader pointed out doctors bash chiropractors, everyone bashes lawyers and on and on. It’s as if anyone who might possibly be considered to be in competition is a prime target for you to bash. Why do we do this? Why can’t we just congratulate people for their thoughts and actions, their successes and attempts. The more we praise, the more praise that will come back to us.

Make a list of people or categories of people you routinely “put down” (bash). Then on the right side of the paper, put down the reason you do this? This is so important because it usually is directed toward someone we don’t even know personally. It would be one thing if you had a personal reason to bash someone else because you felt they wronged you or something like that. But most of the time we don’t even have a specific person in mind.

Are you afraid of competition? I had been a victim of this many years ago. I am a Doctor of Osteopathy (D.O.) and the Doctors of Medicine (M.D.) fought against acceptance of my profession for oh so long. They were afraid because D.O.s got better successes while using manipulation as well as all the other techniques that M.D.s knew. We were trained to do more things than an M.D. and instead of embracing that and learning from it, they put up a fight trying to keep people from going to D.O.s and trying to keep the D.O.s from being recognized as a legitimate medical profession.  I am forever grateful to the military because they are the ones who got the D.O.s accepted into the medical healing arts. So you see, I have been bashed and then when you add that I am a female, things got even worse.

On this piece of paper, in another column, write down what your beliefs about this person/group of persons are. Do you believe that all lawyers are shysters? Do you believe that all politicians are crooked? Do you believe that doctors don’t care and are only out of the money and don’t pay attention to what your problem is? I’m sure that most of you could fill a piece of paper just with your beliefs about doctors.

Once you’ve finished writing this list, sit back and look at it. Does it still make sense when you’re looking at it objectively. Is there any evidence to support your belief? How many of this category of people have you met?  What happened with your interaction with them? How did your interaction with one person influence your beliefs about EVERYONE else in that profession. What would happen if a person you just met and whom you really liked “confessed” to you that they belonged to one of the “groups” on your list? Would you like him/her less?

Use this method to question and reframe your beliefs about people and stop bashing them. Start looking for good in everyone and every category. You can use the Book of Positive Aspects concept with a group of people just as you can with an individual person.  Try it and put down at least 3 good characteristics of that group of people every day. I bet your thoughts will change when you follow these practices.

Let me know what you discover about yourself.

Terrie

The post Who Are You Bashing? And Why? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

You really can’t change someone else. So don’t even try. However, if you change your attitude and outlook, often times it will effect a change in the other person.

If you’re unhappy with a relationship (friend, spouse, significant other, boss, fellow employee, sibling, etc), don’t think that it’s the other person’s fault you’re unhappy. You can make the most of a situation from an internal perspective no matter what’s going on externally. Remember how the POWs in World War II survived in their tiny crowded rooms – they did it with their mental attitude and thoughts. They were able to project themselves away from their present and into the future, or at least into a more pleasant part of their memory.

You can do the same as the POWs – many of you may feel as if you’re a prisoner of war in that relationship so this isn’t that far off.

Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like about the relationship or characteristics of the other person, focus on yourself and your contributions to the relationship. You can also do the “Book of Positive Aspects” where every day you write down at least 3 really good things about the other person. Don’t even go to the negative aspects at all. It make take you awhile to come up with some things but do the simple little things so that you have something good to write. The point of this is to focus on good things about the other person if you have to go there at all. If you can just think about your own happiness (and you can’t say you WOULD be happy if….. if they would change or if you were out of the relationship or if this or if that….”if”s are NOT allowed in this game.

Focus on where you can change or even better focus on what the Universe may be telling you. You attracted this relationship remember. I know you don’t want to believe that but you did. So take a look at it and see what is going on in your head and your emotions that is attracting these things you don’t like or want. Look at your beliefs and see if you can track it down that way. For example, do you believe that all men (or women) cheat on their partner? Was that your experience in your family of origin perhaps? If so, that would follow that you’d developed that belief. Maybe you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy. If so, you’d naturally attract situations  where you wouldn’t be happy. Maybe you think that work should be hard and you should be unhappy at work (struggle). So, you’d attract a boss who would make you work hard or you’d attract situations where you don’t have enough staff or you have incompetent staff and you have to work hard to make up for that. Maybe you believe you’re not good enough for a loving relationship or you don’t deserve to be loved or aren’t worthy of love. What do you think is going to be in your life if that’s your belief? Yep, you got it….the exact circumstances you’re trying to avoid.

Uncover your beliefs, do the Book of Positive Aspects and then see what happens in your life. Many times, your relationship changes for the good. Don’t count on that though or that will defeat the purpose of this exercise. The purpose really is to help yourself feel better in your circumstances no matter what does or doesn’t happen externally.

Think about it; try it.

Terrie

The post The Easiset Way To Change Others Is To Change Yourself first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Given how things have gone for me in the past few months, I probably should also caveat this with “Be careful what you wish for”.  When the Law of Attraction works extremely well in you life (as it does in mine), you often get what you want very quickly – often you haven’t taken enough time to be specific about what you want.

Whatever you ask for, you will manifest. Most of us, however, have passing thoughts like “oh, I’d like that”, or “that would be nice in my living room” – you know, the window shopping syndrome. The Universe will actually manifest each thing you ask for, each and every time. So why aren’t our houses and lives filled like a version of “Hoarding”? Because there is a difference between manifesting and materializing. The Universe manifests everything we ask for but in order for that to materialize in our life we have to allow it in and be ready to receive it. When it’s a passing thought, there isn’t enough focus or desire for it to materialize in your life. You know how we say “act as if” and “focus on having what you want”. Think of it as you putting a homing beacon out for the UPS truck to make it to your door. If you’re on and off about something, then it’s as if the truck is zig zagging around your city or neighborhood instead of making it straight to your house.

This is a good thing for us because often we’ll make quick remarks as a result of some emotional event/situation. And when we say something like “I wish you were gone”, you don’t really mean it but you’ve shouted it out to the Universe! Fortunately this is a temporary feeling/thought and it’s not something you really want to happen.

Once you identify something you really want, don’t leave it at that. Go back and be specific. Define what it is you really want – what color is it, how big or small do you want it, what other parameters are you desiring. This is easy (if you remember to do it) for physical items, but it’s as critical, if not more, with the non-physical items – often because we can’t envision all of the aspects involved. Let me give you my personal example which will make you chuckle. I was feeling “left out” at work with the new “regime” (I really need to learn to like change..ha ha) and wished I was more involved with the new president. Now for the funny part and I am not complaining because I did get what I wanted and I know that I can refine it to be more manageable. I am now constantly occupied with the new president and helping out and talking, reviewing, etc. In addition, I was wanting more people to ask me questions. Now, my office is like a revolving door.  I really am enjoying it because I love to teach and guide BUT (there’s always a ‘but’ if you don’t get specific enough) I can’t get any of the other work done that I have to. You see, all I did was make the two statements – I wanted to be more involved with the president and I wanted more people to ask me questions. I never went any further. There were many ways I could have arranged for everything to happen had I just taken the time to be specific.  I could have said I want the president to consult with me for a finite period of time (I would need to say what that finite period was) or in segments, etc. I could have specified that people ask me questions in the afternoon between 1 and 3 but that it’s just what they do, not that I put out the word that they can only do it then. Why not make it so that the Universe guides them to only have questions during that time rather than me mandating it.

There are many aspects to consider. Make yourself a list of characteristics or parameters you should address when being specific about something. If you’ve made that list ahead of time, then when you’re ready to ask for something, you’ve got the checklist right in front of you. Just remember to be specific.

Here’s some examples:

For a physical wish:

• What is it you want
• What color do you want
• What size/shape/model do you want (31 x 32 x 24 inches for example, or midsize, compact etc)
• Where do you want it to fit?
• What kind of maintenance do you want it to require or to pay for?
• Just think of the characteristics you want and list them all.

• For a non-physical wish:
• What is it you want
• Is it work related, home life, relationships, all of the above – be specific about which part of your life you want it to occur in
• When (which part of your day, week, month etc) do you want it to occur
• How should people approach you
• How often should it happen (occur)
• How long should an encounter last (if pertinent)
• Who do you want to interact with

Remember that when dealing with people you can also augment your list and make your wish come true faster by using the Book of Positive Aspects and the Rampage of Appreciation.

All these techniques and laws work together. Just remember to be specific or “be careful what you ask for”.

Have  a great week!

Terrie

The post When You Wish Upon A Star first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Get out into the sunlight — out where everything is — with a vibration that is so dominant that those who annoy you; those who don’t agree with you; those who make your life feel uncomfortable don’t come into your experience, because your vibration — through your practice — has become so clear, so pure, so clean, so in keeping with what you want, that the world that revolves around you just feels like that. That’s what you planned.
—Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop: San Rafael, CA on March 09, 2001

If you’re thinking that I don’t write about anything other than vibrations, you could be right… ha ha. But, that should show you the importance of working to get your vibrations to the highest possible plane.

I can attest to the validity of this statement – when I can get my vibration up above all the daily worries and problems (that I create much to my chagrin), the day goes so much more smoothly. You would think I’d be able to remember that in the morning. You’d also think I’d be able to remember that I create the havoc and hectic environment I’m experiencing right now. I do know it…I just don’t remember it in time to change things.

So what should I do to improve my vibrations?

One easy thing is to do segment intending. Before I get out of bed I should “pave” the way for at least the first part of my day even if it’s just running. The whole point is that you do this paving of your day segment by segment. Before I leave for work, I should pave my ride to work so it’s smooth without red lights or traffic. Then when I pull in the parking lot, I will segment intend my first interactions and even extend to the first meeting or two. I’ll do this before I enter the building. When it’s time to pave the way to another segment I’ll go into the restroom and pave another segment (don’t you wish all road construction was this effective?) and on and on.

Another thing I can do is write in my Book of Positive Aspects each night to write the positive things about the folks that I am creating that havoc with or around. That’s worked well in the past for me. I need to work it on a regular schedule.

So, my goal this week is to raise my vibrations to the point that’s talked about in the quote above. We’ll see what happens! I know this stuff works but as they say “you have to work it”.

Terrie

The post “Good vibrations” first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

No, this doesn’t mean you have to pack up and move your house and all your belongings! But there are things you can do to alter your environment and remove the toxic effects.

Those things that surround you continue to influence you 24 hours a day. What you are exposed to is absorbed constantly by your subconscious mind. Then your subconscious mind affects your vibrational frequency.  And we all know that it’s your vibrations that determine what you really attract via the Law of Attraction – regardless of what you “say” you want. It’s all about vibration and feeling.

No matter how positive you try to be or how many affirmations you say, if your subconscious mind is constantly bombarded by the opposite – complaints, unhappiness, discontent, disarray, rumors, gossip, etc – your subconscious will rule your being more than your conscious mind.

This is a typical scenario for those who say the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for them. You want happiness and joy but when you examine their your routine, you find out that you hang out around the office water cooler, listen to people complain all day about this and that or talk about what they don’t have that others do (resentment and envy). “Life’s not fair”, “I don’t have any luck”, “I never get anything”, etc etc etc.

Do you watch the news every night? Are you glued to CNN or MSNBC? When was the last time you saw or heard a half hour of positive happenings in the world on the evening or night time news? People want to hear about crime and blood and guts for some reason. The world doesn’t appear to be interested in good things that happen throughout the world even though awesome events occur all the time. So what happens when you’re exposed to all the news about crime and destruction and death and despair? That’s what seeps in to your subconscious mind and when that happens, your subconscious (which is not objective at all and doesn’t know good from bad) “assumes” that that is what you want more of. And guess what? It delivers……it delivers more and more of the bad stuff.

Do you have friends that are down in the dumps ALL the time, complaining about others, talking about poor me or how unfair life has been to them? If so, that is what you will attract more of…more misery and more friends that are living in lack. Do you want to be surrounded by lack and unhappiness? Really? Or is it because your friends like you and you’re happy that you have “friends” that care about you? Ask yourself this, though….do they really care about you? Would they be there for you if something bad happened in your life and they would have to stop wallowing in their problems to help you through yours? Try to answer this honestly. Now I am NOT talking about your friends that have legitimate concerns – serious injuries or illnesses that have had a tremendous impact on their lives. These are truly friends in need and those to whom you must devote as much attention as they need but also privately be seeing them as completely whole (not “healing” but completely whole – you do not want to visualize or see anything to do with healing because that then implies lack – lack of health and therefore illness and that is not what we want). I’m talking about the “friends” who are always having some sort of problem or crisis no matter what the situation. They can’t seem to exist without some sort of drama in their lives and they are trying to bring you into that drama – you do not want to be a part of that because it will lower your vibration and bring you down.

At work are there people who complain about everything, who don’t embrace any idea of change (I am not fond of change so this one is near and dear to my heart)? It’s one thing to not want to change or not be enthusiastic about it but quite another to be actively resisting it by trying to recruit other complainers and even embellishing the “hazards” of such change. Stay away from them and try to evaluate the recommendations on their own merit without the influence of others. And also without the influence of your past experience if you can do that (I’m still learning this one). One thing that will help with this is to use the Book of Positive Aspects for the person(s) who are instituting the change. Find the good things about them, write them down and see what happens.

Remember that the best way to see change in others is to change yourself. Then it doesn’t matter whether they have actually changed or you have – it’s what you experience that matters.

Take these steps to change your environment:

• Evaluate the areas of your life and what your level of happiness (or prosperity) is in that area – health, peace of mind, happiness, wealth, relationships, etc
• If you find an area that lacks what you wish, assess your environment and see if there are any influencing factors, both good and not so good:
• Write them down and determine if you enjoy having them in your life or not
• Assess what you can do to change the things you don’t like and what you can do to add more of what you do like
• Start your book of positive aspects and write in it every day
• Use the rampage of appreciation even when you’re in a situation when you’re not as happy as you’d like to be
• Practice using Segment Intending to create or pave your entire day and your interactions with people. You could use this to avoid interacting with the folks that aren’t as positive as you’d like…and using Segment Intending this avoidance occurs without you feeling guilty or without it appearing as if you’re intentionally avoiding someone. It just happens. Remember that the Universe will create what you are vibrating/feeling – so if you’re feeling happy and wanting to move along calmly (let’s say) during a meeting, it will bring events and situations that will be calm. If you’re stressed and anxious over something, you will create more havoc because that’s what you’re focusing on.

Try these things to alter your environment and remove whatever it may be that is bringing your vibration down!

Get a coach to help you too. Sometimes you need help getting out of the quagmire. A Coach will help you. Contact me if you want more information on coaching.

Terrie

change your environment – let go of friends, news, water cooler, worry etc

The post Change Your Environment, Change Your Vibration first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Have you ever noticed that you’re in a great mood and then all of a sudden you plummet and the anger, frustration, or impatience just hits and BAM! you’re down in the dumps or at least on some other track?

This can happen so easily. You can spend a rewarding early morning with your spouse and kids or exercising and then head on to work. Even if you’re not running late when you get stopped at one of those traffic lights, you let it get to you. Then, with even “worse luck” you hit another red light or someone is driving slow in “your” lane….and on and on and on. It seems that one thing leads to another until, by the time you get to work, you’re in a foul mood. “Why me?” goes through your mind “What did I do today for this to be happening to me?”

Has this ever happened to you? It has me..and unless I catch myself, it’s one big spiral downward. But, if I catch myself, then things can be turned around so easily. How do I do that?

Once I recognize that I’m starting to percolate, I start to look inside for “Kodak Moments” and think about them. I find (in my mind and memory) people I love and care about, events that have made me laugh, jokes that people have told me, or I just look around and start doing a Rampage of Appreciation about the things that are around me. I see how smart people were that created the buildings in the area, how the roads have been structured and intersected, all the different cars that surround me, etc. In our wonderful country it’s never hard to find something to appreciate. It’s amazing how much we take for granted when it’s so easy to simply express appreciation to the Universe for us being able to live here and enjoy everything we have.  Doing a Rampage of Appreciation is the best way to receive more from the Universe – more good instead of the bad thoughts and feelings that were beginning to take over. When a train derails, first one car goes off the tracks and then the others follow in an uncontrolled manner. That’s what happens to us if we don’t pay attention. The key to all of what happens to us is focusing and changing our thoughts and feelings. We are not like trains. We CAN control what happens to the other “cars”. We can unattach the derailed cars from the rest of the train and keep the rest of it (us) on track (in a good vibration). We do NOT have to simply follow along with the derailed car, falling off the track without any control. That is what people who think that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for them say. But, you know what? That first scenario I gave is the Law of Attraction in action. Once you start lowering your vibration and your thoughts turn negative (“darn, why did that light turn red just as I got here?” “Gees, how long is it going to take to turn green?” – notice the frustration mounting), more of the same follows. We are magnets and attract more of what we are focusing on. If we are focusing on dissatisfaction, frustration, anger or impatience, we will attract more situations that generate the same feelings in us.

But if we stop right there and start doing a Rampage of Appreciation or recalling Kodak Moments, guess what? We’ll get more of those.

We are able to control our thoughts – a big advantage over other creatures. Let’s use it and not let things happen to us in a seemingly random manner. Of course, it’s not random at all – it is the Universe bringing us more of what we’re paying attention to.

If you want your day to go great, start it off before you even get out of bed with Segment Intending. Plan each segment of your day. You can do this one segment at a time too. Plan your breakfast and early morning activities such as reading, writing, exercising etc. Then just before you leave for work, do Segment Intending for the trip – see yourself getting smoothly to work with all green lights and no traffic snarls. Once you get to work, before you get out of the car plan the first part of your day – how you want your work flow to go, how you want interactions with others to happen, etc. Keep that up for each individual segment each day.

Then at night, write in your gratitude/appreciation journal. Also use the Book of Positive Aspects to write the good things about people in your life!

Try this focusing for a few days (preferably at least a week) and see what happens in your life. Then let me know and if you’re not having success maybe I can hep you.

Terrie

The post How We Let Things Derail Us (Traffic, Lights, Other Drivers, Long Lines, etc) first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.