You know that at this time of year I have to post something about racing…ha ha.

However, most parts of a running life are analogous to our lives in general. And no more so than when getting to the finish line. Reaching the finish line in life isn’t about death but about achieving something (a goal you’ve set for instance). Just as a runner does not stop running when one race is over, we don’t stop living or setting goals just when one goal is achieved.

You always have to have another goal or plan in mind. If not, you’ll end up with the “is that all there is” syndrome. The bigger the goal or accomplishment, the more important it is to have something planned to shoot for next. Otherwise you’re liable to plummet into depression so deep you don’t know what to do about it.

Your achievement or accomplishment may or may not lead to the next thing you want to go after. Perhaps you’re on a roll and are building up to something even larger – for example a runner might start with a 5K and gradually make it up the scale to a marathon or ultramarathon or even multi-day events. Or, it might be that you’re ready to move on to something different in your life so your next goal might be completely new and unique. There is nothing wrong with that at all. What is important is that you do have someplace else to go.

Give yourself some time to rest and recuperate after you complete the race (goal) – relax and don’t think about much of anything – revel in your success. Then allow yourself some time to reflect on what happened – what went right and what went wrong and what you might have wanted to do differently. Use this as constructive “life” time, not just for that particular goal. Take the lessons from this one event and see how to apply it to your life in general.

Now it’s time to move on to the planning and achieving of your next goal. All you had to do is figure out what your goal was while working toward the other one. You did NOT have to plan how you were going to achieve it. Just having something to aim for next is the key. Once you’ve rested, relaxed and taken inventory, it’s time to plan for this new endeavor. You can apply all you’ve learned previously to your planning efforts now!

What’s your next finish line? Can you see it yet?

Terrie

The post Crossing One Finish Line Takes You To The Next first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

We’ve heard this in the TV ad for some arthritis medication and it’s very true. Your joints may, indeed, be very painful when you first try to move them but once you get them going, the lubricant within will start moving around and cushion the bones so they are not rubbing against one another. Once you’re up and about, you can continue to keep going without any problem. Your body is very happy moving around all the time because the pain is minimized.

In life, it’s the same. Procrastination or inertia keeps you from starting something – perhaps there’s a habit you wish to change and you know exactly what you want to do but you just “never get around to doing it” (I’ve certainly been there, done that and have plenty of the t-shirts).

However, once you get that first step taken and do something once, even if it’s just a part of what you planned, then it seems easy to keep doing it. Then you want to do it again. The next time, you’ve started to develop more “grooves” for the new habit and it’s easier to start – you might actually even be excited to start doing it. You could even get to the point where it’s hard for you to stop! Wouldn’t that be great. For you to get so happy about an activity that you have been avoiding for so long would be phenomenal.

Wouldn’t you like to see how this works. Pick a day and a time – oh, and of course, an activity. Put this “appointment” down on your calendar so you’re being held accountable for it (even if it’s just accountable to yourself). Then just do it. Even if you only do a tiny little bit. See how you feel afterwards. Journal about it. Then do the scheduling thing again and again until this becomes second nature to you!

Let me know how much motion you get!

Terrie

The post “A Body In Motion Stays In Motion” first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

We all like to think that we are autonomous and have some semblance of control over our lives. But, in actuality we do not have as much control over our lives as we think. No matter how old you are, you are carrying a great deal of baggage with us. And we don’t even know it. That’s the difficult part.

Why does this happen? Because we are so influenced as a child and as we grow up. We believe pretty much everything that people tell us because we don’t know any better. By the time we do know better, our beliefs have been so ingrained in us that we don’t even recognize that the choices aren’t ours.

If we’re not open to exploring where our beliefs and thoughts came from, then we’re stuck with what was taught us in our growing years. You have to be able to look at your beliefs and say “whoa, maybe that’s not true…let me check it out.” I think this pattern is how racism and other forms of discrimination are perpetuated. I think we are taught that certain colors, genders, behaviors etc are “good” or “bad” and since the people we respected and relied upon when growing up told us these things, they must be true, right? It’s not easy to question things that you have believed for decades. That’s hard, and often times it hurts too. Especially when you realize that the people you respected and loved might have been wrong about something. But, in order to grow we have to do it. We have to be willing to experience uncertainty and fear and the unknown in order to grow. If we stay in our little cocoons, then we don’t grow or change and life will just continue to pass us by.

When you think about this concept, it’s a bit easier to look at the “mass consciousness” and see how that works. So many things have changed throughout the years because people have been willing to question what they were taught. This happens in nutrition and science all the time. When I was growing up, you had to balance your food using the word “starch” – you never hear that now. Then you have the controversy about which type of diet is the best for you. Are eggs good or bad? Is meat good or bad? Should you worry about your cholesterol or not?

Medicine has changed because people have been willing to challenge and question beliefs. That’s how infections were discovered and subsequently dealt with.  Cancer treatments and theories have changed throughout the years. If people just accepted what they were told, then there would be no research and no improvements in treatments.

How can you examine your beliefs and your thoughts and see what it is you need to (or want to change – maybe you won’t want to change things but at least you should examine them)?

Take some time to think about your life and your experiences and even browse the news websites and see what items get your emotions going. If you can read a title of something and not get emotional or charged, then you probably don’t have an issue with that concept or belief. But if you hit something that really gets you going, then you might benefit from looking at what you believe and then, more importantly, why. A good example is all the articles and discussions about police brutality. What is it that you believe about the police? About demonstrators? And then answer where you got those ideas?

Do the same about wars and about weight and about publicity or models or actors. Or anything you see around you. What do you think about various races or even gender identity? Do “Gay Pride” parades bother you or what? Go to TED.com and look at the titles of the presentations. Do they generate any emotions? What do you think about athletes making so much money? Actors making so much money? What does that tell you about your beliefs about wealth? You have to go further than just ‘that makes me mad” – what is it about that thing that does make you mad? Is it that you feel you’ve worked very hard all your life and you “deserve” to make more money and yet these athletes just run around a court or a field and make more money than “they’re worth”? Are these the thoughts that go through your head? Write them down as they come. Examine them later.  But do examine them!

Take a few days to start this process and see what happens. Any time you react to anything, you know there is a belief somewhere in there.

Terrie

The post How The Most Important People In Your Life Have Ruled It first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

You really can’t change someone else. So don’t even try. However, if you change your attitude and outlook, often times it will effect a change in the other person.

If you’re unhappy with a relationship (friend, spouse, significant other, boss, fellow employee, sibling, etc), don’t think that it’s the other person’s fault you’re unhappy. You can make the most of a situation from an internal perspective no matter what’s going on externally. Remember how the POWs in World War II survived in their tiny crowded rooms – they did it with their mental attitude and thoughts. They were able to project themselves away from their present and into the future, or at least into a more pleasant part of their memory.

You can do the same as the POWs – many of you may feel as if you’re a prisoner of war in that relationship so this isn’t that far off.

Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like about the relationship or characteristics of the other person, focus on yourself and your contributions to the relationship. You can also do the “Book of Positive Aspects” where every day you write down at least 3 really good things about the other person. Don’t even go to the negative aspects at all. It make take you awhile to come up with some things but do the simple little things so that you have something good to write. The point of this is to focus on good things about the other person if you have to go there at all. If you can just think about your own happiness (and you can’t say you WOULD be happy if….. if they would change or if you were out of the relationship or if this or if that….”if”s are NOT allowed in this game.

Focus on where you can change or even better focus on what the Universe may be telling you. You attracted this relationship remember. I know you don’t want to believe that but you did. So take a look at it and see what is going on in your head and your emotions that is attracting these things you don’t like or want. Look at your beliefs and see if you can track it down that way. For example, do you believe that all men (or women) cheat on their partner? Was that your experience in your family of origin perhaps? If so, that would follow that you’d developed that belief. Maybe you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy. If so, you’d naturally attract situations  where you wouldn’t be happy. Maybe you think that work should be hard and you should be unhappy at work (struggle). So, you’d attract a boss who would make you work hard or you’d attract situations where you don’t have enough staff or you have incompetent staff and you have to work hard to make up for that. Maybe you believe you’re not good enough for a loving relationship or you don’t deserve to be loved or aren’t worthy of love. What do you think is going to be in your life if that’s your belief? Yep, you got it….the exact circumstances you’re trying to avoid.

Uncover your beliefs, do the Book of Positive Aspects and then see what happens in your life. Many times, your relationship changes for the good. Don’t count on that though or that will defeat the purpose of this exercise. The purpose really is to help yourself feel better in your circumstances no matter what does or doesn’t happen externally.

Think about it; try it.

Terrie

The post The Easiset Way To Change Others Is To Change Yourself first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Perhaps you want something but you aren’t ready to accept it. Change is not easy and it involves many aspects of your life.

In order to change you have to be able to adjust your thoughts and often your beliefs (not an easy thing to do). You have to modify your habits too. After all, a habit is a sequence of actions or thoughts that are just repeated over and over again. It’s kind of like Pavlov’s dogs where they respond with salivation to the ringing of the bell. I bet when you get up in the a.m. you have the exact same sequence of events – you get up, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, wash your face, maybe take a shower, maybe put some clothes on etc. Each one of us has some variation on this theme that is repeated every day. Why do we do the same things over and over and over again? It’s easy and keeps us in a comfort zone. If we had to think about doing things in a different order every day, that would require more thinking and energy and probably inject some additional stress into your life that you don’t need.

Any kind of change requires a rewiring in your life – whether it’s in your thoughts, feelings, actions or both. So if you feel you’re resistant to change, try to go deep within yourself and see if you can figure out what it is in your life that would be altered. Once you identify those areas, it might be easier for you to accept the modification in your lifestyle. If you can look at the change in a stepwise manner, you might be able to approach it with less fear. I think that when we don’t really know what differences in our lives a particular change is going to make, then the fear mounts and our resistance increases. But if you can break down the dynamics of the change and what it will entail for you, then you can meet it head on and the fear won’t be as much of a factor.

Sometimes we’re not ready to accept change because we think that to make the change will be the same as admitting we are wrong, not as smart as the person who proposed the change or in some other way inferior. It can be pretty scary to mix up our lives and force us out of our routine. After all, how many times have you heard (or said) “it’s worked ok for all these years, why change now?”.   That’s just a defense mechanism to keep us from having to put any effort into doing things a different way and also admit that we could have been doing something better or more efficiently. To many people, admitting that is equivalent to admitting that they’ve been wrong and stupid. It’s not that at all. A fresh set of eyes always helps see how things can be done in a different way. It doesn’t mean that any one is dumb or stupid. That’s the first thing to remember when you’re starting to feel defensive when you are approached with a change recommendation.

Bottom line, if you don’t feel that you’re ready for change, dig deep inside yourself to analyze why you are resisting. This is key to understanding what’s going on in your head and in subsequently figuring out how to embrace it instead of pushing it away.

Terrie

The post Perhaps You’re Not Ready To Accept Change? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

We’ve talked about this before but it’s so important that I want to discuss it again – perhaps in a different way.

It’s a basic application of the Law of Attraction.  You get more of what you’re focusing on. You are sending out the “problem” energy wavelengths. Therefore, of course you’re going to get more of the problem.

If you put your energy out there in the “solution” wavelength, you will get the solution.

How do you switch from focusing on the problem to concentrating on the solution? You have to WANT the solution first. “Obviously” I can hear you muttering. But it’s not so obvious. Many people want to continue to focus on the problem because that’s what will get them the attention they crave. They aren’t doing it consciously. It’s a learned behavior, a habit that’s been engrained in their souls for a very long time. They probably weren’t taught how to focus on anything else. I think another word for all this is “worry”.  These people often also don’t like change. If they continue to pay attention to the problem, then they don’t have to change. Things will stay the same with even more of the same (the problem). It gives them something to talk about too. How often do you find a news program or newspaper that is filled completely with good news? Rarely. It’s blood, guts, murder, crime and all the other bad stuff that makes the news. This is because our culture is excited by drama and misfortune. I don’t know why but I’m sure the psychologists do. It just aggravates me so I don’t participate – that means I don’t watch the news. Your first step, then, is to stop participating in the conversations that are problem centered. This may take some creativity but I have confidence that you can do it. Most people are pretty skilled in changing the subject or even just walking away to find something else to do. If you continue to hang out with them, your motivation to change your habits and behavior will be minimal. And even if you are motivated to change, you are more likely to be overwhelmed by the behavior and talk of others.

Next, repeat my favorite affirmations many, many times during the day. The easiest one is “Everything always works out for me!” You can also tailor and then use the other one “Nothing and no one can interfere with my prosperity (or health, or finding the solution or whatever is appropriate for you), not even myself”. People think affirmations don’t work. But they do. And one thing they do is to redirect your momentum and wavelengths from the negative. You may not yet be focusing on the positive but you’re more neutral and less focused on the negative.  This is a crucial step. You want to stop those problem-focused thoughts in their tracks.

Then follow the affirmations with “Show me the way” – this will open your mind to the Universe and you’ll be more likely to receive an answer!

Repeatedly tell yourself that there is a solution for every problem and it is yours for the asking.

Try to look at what the solution would be like when it comes to you.

There are many other things you can do once you decide you no longer want to be involved in the problem mindset. Make a list of them and keep it on an index card with you all the time.

Be creative and just remember the ultimate goal – the solution.

Terrie

The post You Won’t Find The Solution By Continuing To Focus On The Problem first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

As you move about your day, do you think about who you may have influenced or may yet influence? If you do, then it might change your behavior for the good.

There are so many people observing us and watching everything we do and say. If we pay attention to that fact, it might “up our game” a bit. By that I mean that it might force us to watch what we say, how we respond or react to things and what actions we take when faced with various circumstances.

I think that this most aptly applies to parents or those who work with/around children because they are always watching what we do and emulating this. Remember a little child standing next to a parent and mimicking the way they stand – like mirror images. We always find that so cute. But what we should also realize is that it’s representative of how attentive children are to us and what we do. They are very attentive even when they are trying to act as if they don’t care.  They are like sponges that absorb everything around them.

Where they run into some difficulty, though, is when they encounter dichotomies – they hear adults talk about how things should be and about how they should act but then they see a totally different behavior. They hear that you shouldn’t text on the phone while you’re driving. But then one day, they’re riding along in the back seat and see you texting. What are they supposed to believe? Should they or shouldn’t they text while driving?

You preach patience and understanding and controlling your temper. But then they see you yelling at some bozo who cut in front of you. See how they don’t know which is correct – what comes out of your mouth or what you do?

How many times a day do you give mixed messages? Try to be consistent throughout the day and throughout your life. Always think about what you’re doing and what message you’re giving before you take action. This could be at work, at church, at home or anywhere you are. Always act in concert with what you believe and what you preach. The phrase “do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t cut it in this day and age. “Big Brother” really is watching you – although in reality, it might be little brother or sister.

Start each day with the resolve to inspire someone during the day. You can define what you think that means to you but set that as your intention and then go about trying to fulfill it. Behave as if you’re surrounded by folks that hang on your every word and want to know more about you and what you believe. Behave as if you want them to emulate what you’ve done!

You may never know who you influenced/inspired today but I would bet that there is someone. And wouldn’t you rather have that happen, then just going through another boring day in your life?

Keep track of this for a week. See how you feel at the end of the day. Did you find yourself acting differently, carrying yourself in a way other than usual? Is it worth keeping up? Let us know

Terrie

The post Who Did You Inspire Today? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

The Law of Consciousness

This is the first law – The Law of Consciousness.

Law of Consciousness

You are everything that you have ever read, heard on the radio or television, in school, read in encyclopedias or heard from your parents or siblings.

Siblings tell you things to scare you.

Ministers tell you things about your life and you may no longer believe in those things.

Much of what you’ve been told is made of old wives tales too or research has changed the validity of those beliefs. You can have beliefs in you that are completely invalid right now.

Maybe you were told you had to work hard to get anywhere. That might have set you up for failure or for hard work or maybe even both because you believe you can’t get anywhere unless you’re working 14 or 16 hours a day (or more).

What about concepts like:

• “You have to have an education to get anywhere”
• “Girls can’t do that”
• “You’re just like your ____ (fill in the blank)”
•  You’re told what our health is going to be like. “This or that runs in our family”.

Your subconscious is like a garbage dump. It holds everything – the good and not so good. It holds the bad, the angry, the hostile, all of your opinions and the opinions that were given to you.

Once you start giving up just a few of these beliefs, you’ll be amazed at the changes you’ll see happening in your life.

You are like an onion, though, and have to work down to the deepest beliefs by peeling the onion. You have to examine each belief that pops up and decide whether to keep it or discard it.

If you have chaos in your life, then you have thoughts that are out of harmony with something you want to do. Chaos here means things you don’t want are in your life. You’ve let fear take over. You’ve let anger take over or you’ve condemned or criticized. By the way, the word “problem” is quite acceptable and is not negative because there always is a solution!

Don’t dwell on your mistakes or what you could have or should have done. That just activates the Law of Attraction to bring you more chaos and you don’t get out of that downward spiral.

You have to be careful about what you’re looking at and what you’re asking for. For example there are people who say they want to lose weight no matter what it takes. Our culture has the vision of people who are critically or terminally ill looking scrawny and emaciated. If you don’t qualify what you’re asking for (do not put “whatever it takes”), you might actually get the result you’re asking for but with dire consequences – you’ll lose the weight but be very, very sick.

I’ve done this and caught myself when I’ve said I’d really like to retire. I have to be careful to qualify this and say something like “regular” retirement so that it eliminates the possibility of requiring a medical retirement. If I just ask the Universe to help me retire, then it will take the easiest way out – and that might actually be the medical route. I surely do NOT want that.

So, you have all these beliefs in our “garbage dump” (the subconscious) and your job is to weed out what is valid and what you want to continue to believe and what is invalid and what you no longer choose to believe. Once you identify a belief, ask yourself:

• who was my authority on this? If it was your parents, how did they turn out? Do you want to be like them? You have to separate what they taught you that you want to believe from that which they taught you that you don’t want to believe.
• if it’s limiting in any way, you don’t want to keep that belief (like women have to work harder than men to be successful).

You have to be able to realize that our parents were just normal people, not deities whose every word was the Gospel.

Now take some time and think about what you were taught. Then ask yourself if this is something you continue to believe or want to continue believing. Ask yourself who your authority was/is on this issue. Then write down the belief you choose to adopt. Try that on for size and see how it feels.

The next law is the next step in eliminating your limiting beliefs and replacing them. So stay tuned!

Terrie

The post Influential Laws/Beliefs That Govern Your Life – Part 1 first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

You’ve heard of self-fulfilling prophecies?

What you say and believe over and over, comes true. So, if you say “you don’t (or won’t) love me once you get to know me” and you really believe and feel that, guess what? It will happen. That relationship will end eventually.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is another way to talk about what you believe and focus on, is what you will end up with in your life.

Be careful what you say and think. Make sure every thought you have and every feeling you have is something you really want. And, be specific and careful about what you say.

For example, don’t just say “I’d like to quit this job” or “I want to retire”. Be more specific – “I want a regular retirement so that I can enjoy my health and life.” Otherwise you could end up having a medical retirement and you don’t necessarily want that. So, every time you think about something you want, make sure it can’t be misinterpreted.

When you are examining what you’ve asked for make sure you’re focusing on the positive, not on the lack. I could have said “I want to retire but not medically”. That would make me focus on the fact that there are other types of retirement and the most common alternative is for medical reasons. I don’t want to focus on medical problems or issues. I want to focus on enjoying the retirement and being totally healthy in order to do that.

One little maneuver with your words can make all the difference. See why it’s important to take the time to determine and then define your goals? Make them specific and focusing on the positive aspects of life, not the things you don’t want – the absence of what you want. Don’t say “I want my bills paid off” because you then focus on the fact that you have lack in your life. Say “I am prosperous and have terrific credit”. When you don’t pay your bills, your credit score is affected. This way you’ve said that you have great credit and that will secondarily mean that the things that impact credit are taken care of.

Go for the world but make sure you’ve defined the world the way you really (and specifically) want it.

Terrie

The post Get Off The Merry Go Round first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Get out into the sunlight — out where everything is — with a vibration that is so dominant that those who annoy you; those who don’t agree with you; those who make your life feel uncomfortable don’t come into your experience, because your vibration — through your practice — has become so clear, so pure, so clean, so in keeping with what you want, that the world that revolves around you just feels like that. That’s what you planned.
—Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop: San Rafael, CA on March 09, 2001

If you’re thinking that I don’t write about anything other than vibrations, you could be right… ha ha. But, that should show you the importance of working to get your vibrations to the highest possible plane.

I can attest to the validity of this statement – when I can get my vibration up above all the daily worries and problems (that I create much to my chagrin), the day goes so much more smoothly. You would think I’d be able to remember that in the morning. You’d also think I’d be able to remember that I create the havoc and hectic environment I’m experiencing right now. I do know it…I just don’t remember it in time to change things.

So what should I do to improve my vibrations?

One easy thing is to do segment intending. Before I get out of bed I should “pave” the way for at least the first part of my day even if it’s just running. The whole point is that you do this paving of your day segment by segment. Before I leave for work, I should pave my ride to work so it’s smooth without red lights or traffic. Then when I pull in the parking lot, I will segment intend my first interactions and even extend to the first meeting or two. I’ll do this before I enter the building. When it’s time to pave the way to another segment I’ll go into the restroom and pave another segment (don’t you wish all road construction was this effective?) and on and on.

Another thing I can do is write in my Book of Positive Aspects each night to write the positive things about the folks that I am creating that havoc with or around. That’s worked well in the past for me. I need to work it on a regular schedule.

So, my goal this week is to raise my vibrations to the point that’s talked about in the quote above. We’ll see what happens! I know this stuff works but as they say “you have to work it”.

Terrie

The post “Good vibrations” first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.