“Just when I think I’ve learned the way to live, life changes.” ~Hugh Prather

How true this is. I guess the Universe doesn’t want to see us get comfortable for long. Or, perhaps we don’t want to be comfortable….that, would have to be an unconscious desire in most cases, though, since I don’t think many people really want things to continually change.  Maybe that depends on how happy you are with your current circumstances.

When you think you have everything figured out and know what you’re supposed to do, something pops up in your life and you realize you have to do something different.

Since we know this is what’s going to happen, it behooves us to just accept the fact and be wary of it. If you know that things in your life are going to change, then you can do two things – one is to accept it and not be devastated when the changes occur and two is that you can help guide the Law of Attraction to bring positive changes. Don’t be sitting there worried about what “bad” things are going to happen. Instead, talk to yourself and envision great changes – write the script for your life as you want it to happen. In essence, you’ll be writing out the “life changes” you want to occur.

Make the movie of your life. Know that stagnation is not necessarily a good thing for you but adding variety (change) into your life is healthy and will help you live a more fulfilled life.

Many of the posts for the rest of this calendar year are going to continue to focus on change AND what you can do to prepare yourself for the good you want in your life next year. I really want you all to be prepared to script your life and then live it. Sometimes I think what happens is that we get in a little rowboat or kayak and float down the river with no oars. We bounce around from one side of the river to the other, hitting whatever rocks pop up in our way. Without oars there is no way to guide the boat so you’re subject to the current and the obstacles in the river. Why would you want to live your life like that? You wouldn’t. But if you aren’t aware and don’t prepare, then that’s what will happen. Think about it – has this happened to you or anyone you know? The moral of that story is to always bring your oars with you. With them you can maneuver away from the obstacles and head in the direction you want – you are not at the mercy of the river.

Change is good! If you embrace that and feel it, any change that happens really will be good.

Keep your eyes and your mind open. Embrace everything that happens in your life and know that there is a message in the change. It’s your job to figure out what it is you’re supposed to learn.

Terrie

The post Just When I Think I’ve Learned The Way to Live first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

“If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you’re heading” Lao Tzu

Or, perhaps worse yet, you might not end up anywhere – you’ll just be spinning your wheels forever.

Do you know where you’re heading? Do you know where you want to head? What is your purpose in life (you’ll hear more about purpose in the upcoming weeks)?

Maybe you’re like me and you don’t like change and would rather just sit around doing the same old thing over and over again without any variety – of course, until I DECIDED I wanted to change something. I could couch the fear of change by saying I only step out after I’ve taken the cautious approach. But, it really is just a fear of new things, a fear of change. That probably comes from my childhood – doesn’t everything? So what, though? Just knowing where something came from doesn’t really do any good. I have to examine what it is about change that scares me. What’s happened in the past when things have changed. I already know the answer to a part of that and all the changes that happened night after night in my childhood simply created intense fear every single night. There is probably more but that’s a good place to start.

Now I ask myself “are you the same person you were then, Terrie? Of course not. You’re an adult now and you really do have more ability to react or respond in a positive way to any situation. You are not a child any longer and subject to your parents and their behavior. You can choose the people you wish to be around.” etc.  Talking to myself and journaling about it definitely helps. It lets me know that I don’t have to be afraid of the changes. Will the fear be gone immediately? Of course not. But with time and discovering more circumstances that have occurred in my life, and with use of EFT (emotional freedom technique), the reasons to fear change will diminish and eventually leave.

I have to look at every situation that irks me or gets my pulse going as a disguise for some sort of change. When I get upset or disturbed by things, I have to look and ask myself “what am I resisting?” More importantly I have to decide to follow my intuition and align myself with the inner spirit and peace (from which I came and am one with), take a deep breath and allow whatever it is into my life and embrace it. That may sound funny but identifying the resistance to something and then deciding NOT to resist any longer is the most important part of your actions. Just let things happen. Trust in the Universe to know what it is that should happen. Then stop fighting the Universe and allow it to bring you what you “ordered”.

In order to grow and experience all that life has to offer, you have to figure out what direction you want to go in. Then the most important task is to take that first step. Decide, then do!

Do NOT stay in one place. Decide which direction you want to go in, take the first step and then trust the Universe to help you take the rest!

Terrie

The post If You Don’t Change Direction….. first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Over the years I’ve had many opportunities to make the most of change. I haven’t done so very often. But my good experiences with change really began last year when I got a new boss. And the year since then has been filled with many changes. It’s as if this past year has been jam packed with all the things I should have done or absorbed over all my other years….that’s a lot of years to cram into one tiny year.

Fortunately due to my training in the Law of Attraction (both with Reverend Anne Kunath and as a Law of Attraction coach) I have learned to go with the flow, so to speak, and not be as resistant as I’ve been all the rest of my life. I’m a stubborn, red-headed  German and if those characteristics don’t make you resistant to change, nothing will.

So last year I took positive action when I felt my new boss was ignoring me and leaving me out. I used the Book of Positive Aspects as well as segment intending and talked with her and more importantly opened my mind to see what she was teaching us. As I looked upon these changes, I realized how much I had to learn from her and opened my mind and arms even more to absorb everything I could. As it turned out, this was the BEST Boss I’ve ever had in my life. I learned more from her than I ever have in my entire working career.

My changes actually started before I met my new boss. The year of change (better than the year of the rat I guess) really began when I tried the same Tennessee Trek that I finally completed this year. I stopped after 104 miles and this was the beginning of a new life. I had to deal with the back pain that was bothering me so much – that was pretty debilitating but it led me to dealing with the emotions of quitting and then it led me to a new way of eating. A healthier way and my eating habits have continued to be in the healthy mode since then. That helped decrease the inflammation in my back but more importantly it led me to the psychology of eating coaching training that I’ve just completed. Each path was opened up because I allowed myself to stay out of the resistance mode. Remember that what you resist persists.

Things were going along fine and dandy until February of this year when I ended up having a medical issue that required surgery in March. After that I had more problems with my digestive track and was unable to run for 6 weeks. I had to review what that was teaching me and also not resist those restrictions. This hasn’t been easy but I now know that it paved the way for my feet fractures which has completely sidelined me from any activity. Even though I completed the run, I have now been 8 weeks unable to exercise and run. But on labor day weekend, I realized that I had needed that prolonged restriction to rejuvenate my body and get me back into the excited mode of running. A few days or a week’s rest just wouldn’t have done it. Although I’m still not back to running I know that this forced downtime was essential for me to regroup and start retraining.

In all these past few months I’ve gotten a new boss again. This one is another exercise in not showing resistance. I obviously didn’t learn enough last year or I would not necessarily have to repeat this same experience.

This down time has also afforded me the opportunity to review this past year and see what lessons I’ve learned and maybe still have to learn. It is always beneficial for us to do this.

Do your own inventory of the past 6-12 months and see what you’ve learned or what you have resisted. What can you say about yourself and change based on this review?

Tell us about it.

Terrie

The post My Experiences With Change first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Change, by definition, is a fluid response. So it shouldn’t be surprising that things seem to “change” as your mood changes. You look at everything from a different perspective depending on your moods.

If you’re in love, for instance, you can put up with many different seemingly adverse situations. Nothing can overcome the joy you’re feeling from your love. The same exact circumstances can seem absolutely devastating if you’re depressed and only able to put one foot in front of the other with immense effort. The circumstances are the exact same but your perspective on life (and therefore on the circumstances) is different based on your life situation.

So what? Well the “so what” is that this shows, once again, that you really are in charge of yourself and how you view changes. Often we feel that these changes are externally imposed on us (for example – you’re in the same job you’ve been in for years and now you have a new boss – that is something you didn’t control or have any input into). As such, the change has been outside of your control. BUT and this is the important part – HOW you respond to that change is totally up to YOU! You can be resistant, scared, upset, angry, etc. Or, you can be positive, happy, excited, etc. Your current mood will definitely impact how you respond and therefore how you “are” with the change.  You have a choice. You can choose to look at the change as a positive and good thing and the more you put into that feeling and thought, the more it will come true (remember that the Universe will bring you more of what you’re concentrating on).

I always try to put this concept in front of me when dealing with change – and believe me, in the military there are many more days filled with change than not. In order to keep from being constantly bombarded by the stress of this and wondering what’s going to happen, I use segment intending and pave my every day and every move with new people and new events. I orchestrate how I want things to go no matter who the players are. The Universe responds to this and you are not manipulating people, you’re just guiding how everything will happen regarding you and your response to whatever’s going on.

If change seems to be bothering you, ask yourself what your mood is now or what it was when the change started. Once you have figured that out, then you can go about changing how you’re looking at things now. Were you in pain, were you unhappy, tired, hungry, what? What was happening in your life? Can you honestly say that this did NOT influence your response to the change?

Try to look at the change as an opportunity for you to excel at segment intending and using the Law of Attraction. Figure out what vibrations you are emanating when you talk/think about this situation. Are they likely to bring more of what you want or more of what you don’t want? Ask yourself so many questions that you’re “questioned out”. Then look at the answers and see what your mood is and was. More importantly, figure out how you want to feel right now and how you can get there – remember that we’re just trying to get you to have a “better feeling thought” – just a tiny bit better will do for now and then you’ll build on that. How can you look at this situation differently? What good can you extract from it, no matter how small? Continue to do this until you feel a tiny bit better and then go from there. Write everything down so that you can revisit it the next time. The more you use this technique the more fun it is especially once you start to see the positive results from it.

Any change pending in your life right now?  If so, let us know how you’re feeling about it and what you’re going to do too!

Terrie

The post Notice How Things Change Depending On Your Mood first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

“We cannot change anything until we embrace it” ~Carl Jung

This concept is so important. Remember “What you resist, persists”. So when you feel yourself fighting hard against something, just know that you’ll have that something in your life — and will also attract more of the same into that life. Do you want more of that?

In order to keep moving along in life though, things should change. Change means that you can grow and evolve. You don’t really want to stay in one place in your growth or you’ll miss out on a tremendous amount of fun and probably abundance too.

The military is a great place to learn to experience change. Unfortunately I didn’t really learn until last year how to embrace all those changes. I was the type to resist the changes. I would put all the energy I could muster into figuring out why that idea (that involved changing things) would NOT work, instead of raising my vibrations to focus on the solution and discover how the other person’s ideas could probably work if we all just put some work into it. What a tremendous amount of time and energy I wasted all my life. But I think the reason for my resistance was that the idea for change was not mine and so I felt inferior or something. It was hard for me to admit that another person could have an idea. I felt I was inferior if I didn’t have that idea. And since I didn’t want to feel inferior, I fought back – with resistance. How foolish and young of me. Of course I got better at accepting change as the 30 years in the Navy went by but I don’t know that I ever embraced it.

But last year, when the best boss I’ve ever had in my career arrived and I watched her with all of us, I truly did embrace the changes she made – and boy, were there a  lot of them. You know what, though? They were all good, if not great. I learned more from her than I have ever learned from any boss in all my years of working. And I think it was easier to learn those things because I finally did embrace the change. Every week I knew there would be something new and although that meant more work, I actually looked forward to those changes. I knew I would have to alter my outlook and attitude each week and that became a fun challenge. One I saw the great benefits from.

Ways to help you embrace change include anything that will help you relax such as meditation or EFT. Deep breathing is a part of meditation but can also be used separately if you don’t have time or experience to do full blown meditation. Once you’ve relaxed, you’re less likely to put up resistance. Keep this in mind and take some time when you find yourself resisting some change that’s coming into your life. I know that as we have another new boss whose style is totally different than last year’s, I will be doing a great deal of relaxation techniques to just allow the changes to happen and to welcome them into my life to see what gifts they bring even if they aren’t visible right now.

Do you embrace change? Do you resist change? What have you noticed when you’ve done either the embracing or the resisting?

Terrie

The post Embracing Change first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

You don’t have to enter an official “race” to talk about your finish line.

We all have finish lines almost every day of our lives. It depends on how you define that phrase. I see people whose finish line is the end of a work day or perhaps the achievement of a goal.  Maybe it’s when the kids go to bed or when you go to bed or even when you stop working for the night.

The point I want to emphasize, though, is that the fact is you “cross” the finish line – you don’t stop right at it. You keep going in other words. You move on to something else. If it were a running race, perhaps you’d move on to your car or the food table or your home. But you’d keep going – somewhere.

In all of life you have to keep going or you get stuck and stagnate. This happens frequently when people fail to look beyond the achievement of one goal. When they’ve reached the conclusion of that one, they have a let down period and get depressed and often just stop doing anything. It takes a great deal of momentum to pick back up again. It’s much better if you anticipate the end of one project and already have a new “goal” or finish line delineated.

There really is NO finish line except perhaps death and that is even debatable depending on your view of the afterlife..

Stop demarcating your life with various arbitrary finish lines or at least change their name to something cute that simulates “new start line” (that’s not cute but you can come up with your own term).

It would also be of use for you to do an inventory (it’s past time for a midyear inventory anyway) of all your past finish lines and what they led to next. It will give you a much better timeline of your life and your growth than the Facebook timelines. Go way back and see if you can list everything you achieved and then what came next. See if you can see a nexus between the two. I bet there will be because most of what happens to us is NOT random despite what we may think.

Stop wishing for the end, just think about the next step. We don’t really want to reach the end – we want to reach the beginning of something new because it will have been based upon your last achievement. Case in point – I just finished the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life (my Trek across Tennessee) but when I crossed that finish line, I knew it was simply the beginning of processing all I learned while out there alone as well as figuring out what I would do if the physical damage I experienced is irreparable and I can’t run again, or what I will reach for if it does resolve. There were so many openings in my life and soul once I crossed that finish line – it was the beginning of a new life!

Where are your finish lines leading you? Have some fun exploring!

Terrie

The post Where is Your Finish Line? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Being stuck really is a choice. Before you bristle at that, take a deep breath and sit back for a minute.

Unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances, you can always change something. Often it’s a “little” or simple change in thought process or what you do during the day or even just an attitude modification that can begin the momentum of change.

All it takes is for you to try “something” – anything at all will prompt some sort of change. Try to think about your circumstances in a different way. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be Pollyanna but see if you can find something positive in an adverse situation.  This can be the tiniest thought or idea and once you start thinking about it, you’d be surprised how you can more easily continue down that lane. If you keep trying to focus on these better thoughts, you might even be able to replace the less than attractive ones. But, there is one caveat – you have to WANT to make some change.

Frequently we enjoy staying in the negative. It’s often more comfortable to be in the negative because a) that’s what we’re used to and b) it’s a way to get more attention – people are more likely to attend to your needs and “pat you on the back” (so to speak) when things aren’t going so well. That makes it so much easier and even desirable to stay in that mode. But what you don’t realize is that it’s also the easiest way to attract more of the adverse events. Remember that the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you focus on. And if you’re focusing on the “negative” and accruing the same type of focus and energy from others, then the Universe is going to bring you more of that.

Switch out your thoughts when you can. Try it in tiny bites. Take a situation and see what good you can find in it. This is your first step in crawling out of the quicksand. Once you’ve come up with that tiny bite, you can keep it in your mind or even write it down and then every time you start to go down that other path, you can pull it back up. Each time you find yourself feeling sad or upset about this event, try to come up with something new and good to focus on, no matter how small. Start creating a list. Here’s an example. You have a loved one in the hospital and you’re spending a lot of your time there. How could you possibly come up with something good given that your loved one is experiencing pain and discomfort? There’s nothing good in this, is there?

But perhaps you can think about all the really nice people you’re meeting whether it’s the health care workers or other visitors. Maybe it’s only one person but still that’s someone who has enriched your life. Maybe it’s more that you’re learning about your loved one or even what you’re learning about medicine in general? Maybe it’s even that you’re missing work and that’s a relief (do NOT go down the road that you’ll then have so much more work to catch up on just focus on the fact that you’re away from work and that’s a relief despite where you have to be instead).

Perhaps someone you love has died. Think about how they no longer are in pain or are suffering. It’s easy to be sad and miss that person and no one is suggesting you should totally cease having those feelings. Those feelings are part of the grief process. But as you’re experiencing it, look at the good things. If that person had been paralyzed, perhaps, think about how they are walking in the afterworld (Heaven, the Universe, whatever you call it) no longer paralyzed. Think about how they are looking down at you and smiling because they still love you. They are putting their arms out to you in love to comfort you. Try to rejoice in those things for a few seconds. Then you can revert to your grief if it comes back.

Try these small but impactful techniques! They will work.

Terrie

The post Are You Stuck Or Did You Choose To Be Where You Are? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

Perhaps you want something but you aren’t ready to accept it. Change is not easy and it involves many aspects of your life.

In order to change you have to be able to adjust your thoughts and often your beliefs (not an easy thing to do). You have to modify your habits too. After all, a habit is a sequence of actions or thoughts that are just repeated over and over again. It’s kind of like Pavlov’s dogs where they respond with salivation to the ringing of the bell. I bet when you get up in the a.m. you have the exact same sequence of events – you get up, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, wash your face, maybe take a shower, maybe put some clothes on etc. Each one of us has some variation on this theme that is repeated every day. Why do we do the same things over and over and over again? It’s easy and keeps us in a comfort zone. If we had to think about doing things in a different order every day, that would require more thinking and energy and probably inject some additional stress into your life that you don’t need.

Any kind of change requires a rewiring in your life – whether it’s in your thoughts, feelings, actions or both. So if you feel you’re resistant to change, try to go deep within yourself and see if you can figure out what it is in your life that would be altered. Once you identify those areas, it might be easier for you to accept the modification in your lifestyle. If you can look at the change in a stepwise manner, you might be able to approach it with less fear. I think that when we don’t really know what differences in our lives a particular change is going to make, then the fear mounts and our resistance increases. But if you can break down the dynamics of the change and what it will entail for you, then you can meet it head on and the fear won’t be as much of a factor.

Sometimes we’re not ready to accept change because we think that to make the change will be the same as admitting we are wrong, not as smart as the person who proposed the change or in some other way inferior. It can be pretty scary to mix up our lives and force us out of our routine. After all, how many times have you heard (or said) “it’s worked ok for all these years, why change now?”.   That’s just a defense mechanism to keep us from having to put any effort into doing things a different way and also admit that we could have been doing something better or more efficiently. To many people, admitting that is equivalent to admitting that they’ve been wrong and stupid. It’s not that at all. A fresh set of eyes always helps see how things can be done in a different way. It doesn’t mean that any one is dumb or stupid. That’s the first thing to remember when you’re starting to feel defensive when you are approached with a change recommendation.

Bottom line, if you don’t feel that you’re ready for change, dig deep inside yourself to analyze why you are resisting. This is key to understanding what’s going on in your head and in subsequently figuring out how to embrace it instead of pushing it away.

Terrie

The post Perhaps You’re Not Ready To Accept Change? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

People often say “I’m too old to…..” or “You’re too young to…..” and it’s not often in a complimentary manner.

I was thinking the other day about how I learned things when I was younger. To put this in context it was as I was reflecting on how much I have learned from my current boss in just one short year (it hasn’t even been a year yet..and she’s abandoning us soon too darn it). I was wondering to myself how I learned things when I was younger since I know I was just like most young people who don’t think they have much to learn or that the people around them can’t teach them anything. On top of that I remember a couple of weeks ago when one of the guys I work with brought his son in to work and it was so cute because the son mirrored all of this guy’s behaviors and stances to the tee. When you see something like that you realize how much children model you. It should make you pay attention more to how you behave around them.

Young people are not as resistant to change as we may think. They just need to process the information in different ways. And you can’t expect them to admit or say anything about accepting that information. I think they just “model” behaviors they see as do children. So, if you want to effect change, you have to be what you want them to be. No more of the “do as I say, not as I do” type behavior because it won’t work. They absorb much more than I think we give them credit for.

Frequently us older folks are accused of not being open to change. I probably fit in that category until this past year when I’ve had to admit how often my boss was right and then go on to admit that I could learn a great deal from her if I just paid more attention and stopped any type of resistance. And most of all, eliminate the automatic brain response “Yes, BUT…..”, which, of course, is the politically correct way of saying “ok, we’ll do it your way because you’re the boss but you’ll see that I AM REALLY the right one here”…ha ha.

I hear old people being accused of not being technically savvy and not being able to learn new things. What’s the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”? The reason for that is that the old dog does not WANT to learn a new trick. If you can convince them of the benefits that come with the new trick they can pick up pretty quickly drawing upon all their experience in life. They might even be able to offer viable modifications if you asked them and were willing to listen.

I think that everyone is able to change no matter how old or young they are. And I have finally found that welcoming change is very exciting and can inject life into the possibly boring normal every day life. That is a very big change for me but one which I’m happy about.  If you go through some type of change that has a positive outcome for you, you’ll start to enjoy it as well and be able to integrate it into your life more easily.

How do you change? Do you resist change? Do you feel your age works against you in the “change arena?” Do you embrace and welcome change as more of an awakening and exciting part of life? A new journey so to speak?

Express your opinion here. Let others know how you feel about change and about what you’ve dealt with in others.

Terrie

The post Too Old/Too Young To Change? Never! first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.

I think one reason people don’t work on changing themselves or things in their lives much is because it is scary to make those changes.

Change involves stepping out of your comfort zone.  And the word “comfort” says it all. To step out of your comfort zone, you have to do some extra work – both mentally and physically.  I can tell you that just from yesterday’s experience. I have finally been cleared to run again after 6 plus weeks. And I was excited about it the day before I was allowed to run. But I waited til yesterday and even then it was hard for me to get out the door. I had been in the “walking” comfort zone for all this time – and mind you I do NOT like walking. However, in the past 6 weeks I have developed that habit. Now I had to break the habit. It took a great deal of pushing myself to change my momentum to do the running. I’m very glad I did but it was still tough. And that’s to change into something I want to do.  Can you imagine how hard it is if you have to change to something you don’t necessarily want to do?

Habits are strange. Sometimes it doesn’t take long to develop them. Sometimes we just slip right into certain habits. Like me with the walking this past 6 weeks. I had to slip into it if I wanted to do any exercise since that was all I was permitted to do. I didn’t really have to work at developing that habit because it was forced on me.

But when you get to other habits that you are trying to implement and change, you might have to work at it and come up with fun and sneaky ways to get yourself to do the new activity or thought.

Another reason it’s scary is when you think about this being something you HAVE to do for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. If you look at it that way, it seems endless. Just remember that if you don’t like the results of this change, then you can change back or into something else. You do not have to remain stagnant. Just keep moving – but remember that even moving backwards is change too. Do not think of it as an ultimatum. A massive undertaking like something for the rest of your life is way too much for your brain to comprehend. Break everything into little pieces.

Write down the good that will come from your change. You may need to draw on results from previous experiences. Remember the posts I’ve written about the patience and realizations that went along with the forced changes I’ve had in the past 6 weeks. These are great things upon which to base the good that comes from something that could be considered horrible – “you can’t run or lift more than 10 pounds and can’t lift weights for 6 weeks..oh, and you’re going to have to deal with all these other internal changes”.  That could have scared me into total despair and hibernation but I didn’t let it. I had a goal after the “down” period was over and I wanted to heal properly so I did abide by the rules and did what I was allowed to do and did so with an open mind – embracing the journey of change.

Am I happy with the running results from yesterday? Heck no. They stunk. But I was running and that’s what matters. I will not jump the gun and make judgments that will just be negative and defeating. I am going to live for today and enjoy the run I can do and then take each day as it comes.

Look at change as exciting. A difference from your daily routine. It’s exciting if you want it to be. If this change is something you want to do, then it will be even better.

Change is only scary if you let it be. Make it something you look forward to. Let me know what change means to you. Write it in the comments box and share with others.

Terrie

The post Why Is Change So Scary? first appeared on Getting Unstuck, LLC.