Category Archives: General

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Be Present

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Be present 4 - not animatedAnother important thing I learned in my “Tennessee Trek” was the importance of “being present”. I will explain in a moment but wanted to let you know that I’m not just writing these things because I’m “filled” with my adventure but because I think they are important issues for us all to embrace and consider. So often, we look at things or hear phrases (like “epic” and “awesome”) and we don’t think about what the words really mean. I would still write these posts even if I didn’t tell you that they came from Vol State (the official name for my Tennessee Trek).

“Being present” is one of those phrases for me. I would hear it a great deal (especially in the mind-body-nutrition/psychology of eating course I’m taking – more to come about that later in the summer). But even though I professed to believe it, I didn’t really absorb what it meant. I could intellectually take it on as mine but until it’s emotionally adopted, the true meaning is lost.

While being so alone on the road in Tennessee, I was able to experience one part of the meaning of “Be Present” – being with yourself. Other than the minute or so I interacted with my crew guy (good ole Marvin – I bet he wished it only were a moment or two), I was with myself most of 5 or 6 of the 10 days.  When you have no one else to interact with, you’re forced to examine yourself and discuss things with yourself – even if it’s just the cacophony of sounds you hear. I had many conversations at night about how it was the “country” and I didn’t think it wasn’t supposed to be so noisy in the country. And you don’t want to know about my conversations with the Roosters…..LOL. So, I learned to go deep inside many times. Sometimes that was painful but most of the time it was illuminating and I’m grateful for that time. I hope I can do it next year (still very doubtful that I can but I want to….only if Diane is there though) so that I can do even deeper.

The other (and I think more important) part of “Being Present” is living in the now. As I was trying to make it through the painful days, I realized that it was doing no good to “hope” for the finish or think about the 10th day or the finish or going home or anything like that. If anything, all that would have done is create more discouragement and depression since I would then be thinking about something that was a long way off. Why do that to myself? I found out that it was more useful to simply think about what was going on right now all around me and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. It didn’t matter how many more miles there were to go. If I was going to finish this – and I was determined to do so until the last 16 miles – it was going to require that I just concentrate on continuing to move forward. So I paid attention to moving my feet and legs and then to the surrounding area and its beauty. I only wish I had had my camera with me (additional weight – ugh) and had time to stop and take photos. I was so pushed for time that I didn’t even feel comfortable stopping to take the photos (if I get to do this next year, I should use the GoPro like Dave did –
Click Here to Play Video

video of our experience if you’re interested) even for a short time. Too much pressure I put on myself but as you can tell by my finish time, there was very little time to spare.

I became completely aware that the past has already happened and there is nothing that can change it. All that can be done with the past is to savor it or to learn from it. That is the big advantage if you can look at the past objectively and see what there is to learn, if anything. And even more acutely I absorbed the fact that the future will never come. Why sit around and say “when I finish, this will happen or I’ll feel that…etc”. Do it NOW. I’ve been learning that in the psychology of eating course but it really hit home those 10 days. Since I’ve been home I’ve applied that principle too whenever I’ve thought something negative was going to happen in the future. I then center myself and bring myself back to the present and simply say “be present” and “be in the present”. That has prevented negative vibrations and thoughts from persisting.

I’m so grateful I had this experience for many reasons and this is one of the most important lessons. What if something happens? Tomorrow won’t get here so why think about it. Try to live the fullest you can right now!

Think about this and see where you’re living. Do you use the “When this happens, I’ll feel that?” or “When this happens, that will happen?” The most common expression of this is how we experience our work week. What does everyone say on Monday (and then every day after) “I can’t wait til Friday” or “2 more days til Friday” or something similar. Why not live EACH and every day to the fullest. It’s all you really have. It’s ok to have goals but work on things that will make you happy each day while you are achieving different parts of the goal. Rejoice in them. Rejoice in whatever you experience each day – gratitude will bring more of whatever you’re grateful for.

Try it. It will make you a different person!

Terrie

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Perspective…An Update

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Perspective2I don’t usually post on Saturdays but Mr. Bob Hamilton’s comment on yesterday’s post on perspective made me think (gee and it’s Saturday too..wow).

Our perspective can change from day to day. Case in point is what Bob wrote about the cornfield. I had looked at it as a never ending painful experience. But after reading Bob’s comment, thinking about the experience (especially what his son and the other two characters meant to me), and also reading another touching “race report” from the event led me to think about the CORNFIELD in a much different way. I looked at it with a different perspective.

For me it had been another grueling part of the passage. It represented pain and difficulty (trying to maneuver safely). After reading Bob’s comment and thinking about what all that meant to me, I now look at that CORNFIELD as a very positive and important thing. It is still part of the passage but a very important part – it was the “foyer”, so to speak, leading to the entrance way (the short trip in the woods) which led to the DOORWAY – the finish and the passage to the next part of my life. Marching along in the foyer together (sort of – the boys did go ahead but they waited for us girls), Dorothy (Diane) allowed Toto (me) to cry on her shoulder and helping me out with her better light. This was our last rite of passage. We had to traverse this long, dark, rutty CORNFIELD in order to reach the peace and quiet and inner glow of the finish. Like Sand Mountain just before it, it was hard but it made the end much more memorable, not only because of the difficulty but also because of the beautiful people that were pulling me along, forging a deeper friendship than we had before.

I now look at the CORNFIELD differently. It was just before the end when often times things are tougher and the whole idea is to NOT quit then, but to continue on and you’ll reap the benefits!

See how just reading something or just listening to others can help you put things in a different perspective. Keep your eyes and ears open and see what evolves in your life in the next few weeks. Record/journal when your outlook (Perspective) changes and what made it change?

Terrie

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Perpsective

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perspectiveSo I’m a day late (but NOT a dollar short – think about that common phrase and then eliminate it from your vocabulary – you are NEVER a dollar short….but I digress…already). I should have posted yesterday but I’m still trying to get back in the saddle again after my 314 mile run across Tennessee (see my race report if you want some  fun). I apologize for being late.

I want to say a few words about Perspective. I learned a great deal on my 10 day journey and perspective is one of those things. I will never look at a “mile” in the same way again (by the way, if you’re “dyslexic” in a special sort of way and add an ‘s’ to mile – you could end up with a “s”mile – so put one on your face today!).

As the last day went on, each mile became longer and longer – or so it seemed. And that’s what “perspective” is all about – how things seem. Depending on how you feel that day, whether you’ve got your glasses on, whether you’re in a good mood or not, your take on something can be different from day to day – or even moment to moment.

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“The” Cornfield

Funny because when I was going alone, each mile seemed to be the entire trip around the world. When we only had about 7 miles left, it seemed we had come 4.7 miles very quickly. But I think that was because a) we were all in a small group and b) that meant we only had 2 plus miles to go til the last stretch. We were all surprised when Jay announced that we had come 4.7 miles. We had been talking, stopped at Sonic and trying to have a good time (as best you can after going 300 miles already). My point, though, is that the miles seemed shorter. Then, however, when we got to the blasted cornfield (at the very end), the single mile went on and on and on……FOREVER. That perpsective was a culmination of immense fatigue, climbing up that last mountain and “knowing” the end was supposed to be just around the corner (so to speak).

I always hear that you should put things in the “proper perspective” but you know what? I’m not sure what that means. And I’m not sure because I do not know who is supposed to be able to make that judgement – whose perspective is the “proper” one. I think it means that we should try to figure out what we would think of a situation were we not tired, emotional, hungry, lonely or any other adverse situation. If you’re calm, cool, and collected, then maybe you CAN figure out what the “proper perspective” is – FOR YOU.

Do you ever look at someone and wonder what they are thinking about you? Do they look like they are mad at you, or ignoring you? That’s your perspective. What if they look that way because things aren’t going very well in their lives? It has nothing to do with you. Did you ever think that was a possibility? You have your perspective on how they look and they have their own.

You’ve heard the phrase “perception is reality”?  You can substitute “perspective” for “perception” very easily. Because what matters is how you are looking at something right this minute. What you CAN do for your own mental health, though, is recognize that this perspective MIGHT be different in an hour or in a few hours or maybe tomorrow. Keep that in mind and maybe things won’t look so bad right now. Maybe you can even laugh at what you’re thinking right this minute. Had I had this realization two weeks ago, that last day might not have been so hard on me. I might have been able to laugh instead of cry for miles.

I did have a sincere moment of perspective during the race, though. When there were the shootings of the military folks in Chatanooga, it became more clear that this was “just” a race and so what if I didn’t finish – or if I did? These people had lost their lives and their families would be affected forever. It sure helps to put what you are doing, thinking or feeling at the moment into the proper perspective.

I just offer this for your thought. How has your perspective changed either as you have grown in life or as your circumstances have changed in life?

Terrie

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Momentum Monday

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momentum-monday1“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”  ~John Homer Miller 1910-1944, Teacher

This is so applicable to me right now after my trek across Tennessee! It really is all about the attitude. There are so many things that could have gone better or that I could have done differently but what happened happened and I finished the event! My mind could look at a bunch of “failures” (‘I didn’t do this, I didn’t do that’, etc) but instead I choose to look at the fact that it really was a wonderful 10 days and I met so many beautiful people all along the way (and after I returned too). I am so glad I did it and I do not think that the lessons learned could have been learned in any other format.

It was 10 days essentially with myself and my thoughts. That is the longest I’ve ever spent with myself (not sure I’d recommend it to anyone else though..LOL). Up until the last day, the attitude I had despite the pain was that I was going to do this and I was so happy I had come as far as I had. If I had let things get me down, then I might have quit early. But I wanted to see all of this route across Tennessee and experience as much as I could. Even though I would have been at peace with stopping (that realization came about day 3 or 4), I wanted to continue. Despite the circumstances (what life brought me), my way of looking at what happened gave me joy and lessons to ponder. I do admit that I faltered on the last day but that is also part of the learning process. And it’s all about what I did with that information – I learned to accept help and take help and ask for help – brand new things for me! My mind was reformed in many ways during that 10 days. And hopefully those lessons will take.

Take some time and look at those who have significant problems or disabilities and see how they have approached life. What is their attitude? How are the faring? What can you learn from them? I love this lesson.

Thanks for all your support!

Terrie

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What Are Your Fears?

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what are your fears1Do you know what your fears are? Do you fear rejection? Abandonment? Success? Or even Failure?

Why does it matter? Let’s say you’re good at suppressing your fears and no one even knows you have any. So, does it matter if you ever acknowledge them?

Yes it does! Even if you’re good at pushing them down and forging ahead, they are keeping you from reaching your full potential. They are taking energy away from you. Your subconscious mind and your nervous system have part of their “duties” spent on dealing with your fears – either combating them or hiding them. What if you had more capacity to do the things you want to do? If you identify and and then free up your fears, you’ll free up capacity to deal with the positive things you want to deal with.

So, if you can work through your fears, you can accomplish more and ultimately even be happier. I know that when I used to have more fears, the anticipation of something I feared made my heart beat faster and my nerves were on edge. This affected how I reacted to anything else that came my way even if it was something simple and expected as part of a daily activity. Being on edge is not the same as loving to live “on the edge”. It’s much different. Living “on the edge” is a choice and brings enjoyment. The reaction by the nervous system is self-imposed because of the feelings it creates. Being “on edge” is NOT by choice (well, I suppose you could argue that it really is a choice) and the nervous system does not create enjoyable sensations.

I advocate keeping a journal. It doesn’t have to be a daily thing – that can get tedious (or it can be cathartic). But if you have a book, a diary, or whatever you want to call it, you can keep your thoughts and ideas in one place. If you notice something has particularly gotten to you, write about it. See if you can figure out what it was that bothers you. Was it something that generated some fear feelings in you or was it just something that was distasteful and not something you enjoy. If it was a fear feeling, what was it you feared? Try to get very specific. But you may start out generally and then drill down as you examine whatever pops up. Work with your stream of consciousness. At first, if you’re not used to journaling, it might not come easily. It might seem very boring and not revealing at all. But some of that could also be because you don’t want to deal with what might surface. Often it’s things that happened way in the past that are keeping us from doing all we can do in life. Wouldn’t it be liberating if we could find out what those things were and then release them? You’d have so much more energy and so much more room in your brain for creativity and for ideas to pop up.

Once you start noticing your fears, use something like denials or EFT to remove them from your mind. It will probably take some time but it’s definitely worth it. You can also try to face your fears and do things that you might not like to do. Once you do them, especially if you use something such as EFT, you’ll be able to ask yourself “what is it about this that I feared”. It will be helpful to jot down what it is you’re afraid of before you actually do the thing. Then after it’s done, you’ll be able to ask if it was as bad as you thought it was.

Fears are generally based in the past and really shouldn’t be affecting your present even though they do. You can remove them and live more in the present!

Try to work on your fears this week and see if anything comes up. Start your journal and see if it goes easy or hard. Comment below to let us all know what’s been happening.

Terrie