Category Archives: Goals

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What I Learned in Just 7 Days, Part 3 – Momentum

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 As I started my attempt at running a second marathon in 7 days yesterday, I wondered what the next 7-8 hours would bring. My first steps let me know it wasn’t going to be a great day at all  – my shins were burning making me stop frequently (just like the old days). They eventually loosened up so I kept plodding along. I wondered how I could feel so cruddy after only 4 days off and why it was taking me so much energy to just think I could even finish the half-marathon to say nothing of actually doing the full marathon. I was amazed at the downward spiral my mind was taking. I was filled again with self-doubt and self-judgment/criticism – the bane of our existence. It was as if that special week in time was a figment of my imagination, a dream, even a fantasy…..How could I possibly have done 7 days in a row and done a full marathon after 5 halfs and now with this 4 days off I can’t seem to do anything? What was going on?

But then I realized it was about momentum!

I was able to do the other events because I had the momentum and just “kept going”. As I was running (a combination actually of running/walking yesterday) I drew the parallel between this sequence of events with my realization and life and pursuit of any dream/goal. It’s interesting how we can continue moving forth once we get started and even the uphills don’t seem so bad because we are already moving. But if we stop for a bit and then try to get started again, going uphill in life consumes a phenomenal amount of energy and it seems so much easier to just turn around and go backwards down the hill or just stay where you are, never venturing further up the hill. I remember the one thing I never wanted to do was get off my bike on  a hill because for me it was virtually impossible to produce the amount of energy it took to just get started when you’re already on the hill. To keep on going no matter how slow while the wheels are spinning takes energy for sure but not as much as starting from scratch.

Maybe this is why so many people have trouble when they are “dieting” (it applies to the pursuit of any goal however). You do really well and then for some reason, something happens and you aren’t as “perfect” as you think you should be. At this point, it’s like stopping on a hill (the way most people look at diets or weight loss) and it’s probably a hill you didn’t want to be on to begin with anyway. Starting up the hill again (resuming your rigid control of your food intake) takes so much energy and seems like an insurmountable obstacle. Rather like me yesterday thinking “how on earth did I do all that last week – or did I really do it? How am I going to be able to run even 13 miles today?”. Looking at the accomplishment – the final result – was the insurmountable obstacle. I had to readjust my vision and focus (remember we talked about that in part 3) to concentrate only on the next step, the next mile, the next lap etc. That was the only way I was going to regain any momentum because the 4 days that my life returned to ‘normal’ had disrupted that amazing momentum that I’d had and relished in.

So what did I learn from that? You have to keep the momentum going no matter what it takes. The danger zone lies in stopping. We can’t ever stop moving – preferably moving forward in some way, shape or form, but at least moving in some manner. When you work toward your dreams, your goals, those things you want to pursue, examine your feelings and use your feelings to generate the passion that will produce the momentum for you. Take small steps, look only at the small chunks (my new favorite phrase is “chunk it down”) for they seem much less insurmountable than the big picture. Just keep going in some way shape or form.

And even more importantly you just HAVE to have a support team and a coach. Even if the “coach” is not an official coach, create one. Find someone you can work with or even just look up to. I keep reiterating that without Parvaneh (the most wonderful race director in the world) I would not have even thought I could accomplish any of this. And yesterday was no exception, she and the other folks continuously cheered me on.

In case you’re wondering, I did complete the full marathon and I’m pretty darn proud of it. The last 4-6 miles were very tough for me but then Parvaneh, Angela and Dagmar dragged me with them for the last mile and I made it.

Just keep moving forward!

Terrie

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What I Learned in Just 7 Days, Part 1 – ….Amazing Shift in Power and Perspective

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 It’s kind of funny. I was just preparing some material for Define & Conquer 2013 and was looking back at last week’s posts. In the morning post from the 26th I sounded rather blah about doing a second 1/2 marathon that day. Little did I know what was going to happen. I had no idea how much my life and psyche was going to change in just 7 days.

Instead of just doing two back to back half-marathons, I ended up doing 6 1/2 marathons and 1 FULL marathon (26.2 miles) in 7 days. I had NOT planned on doing that at all. I was going to “try” to run 3 half-marathons in a row over the weekend. Although I had thought about doing all 7 half-marathons, that had been thwarted by my having to go back to work on Thursday and Friday. But then I got brave and asked my boss for those two additional days off – not so I could run but for other reasons. And I was blessed because he said “yes”.

Now that I had the opportunity to run all 7, did I have the courage and the capability?

I wasn’t sure. And I definitely wasn’t going to commit to anyone that I was going to try. That might mean failure if I couldn’t. And no one wants to risk failure if they can help it. But I don’t know that it was that I didn’t want to risk failure. More that I didn’t want to be embarrassed if I failed (in my mind it would have been a failure – not in other people’s – see how our limiting beliefs get in the way).

But you know what? I did the second and then I committed to showing up to try the 3rd. Doing the second one was uncharted territory for me and doing 3 in a row certainly was. But by then I was really up for a challenge and willing to put myself out there.

Why?

Because of the love and support I felt from these people I had simply interacted with once before – over Thanksgiving weekend. They embraced my attempt and realized that it was something new for me and beyond what I had done before. It was ‘nothing’ for them because they were all doing 12 FULL marathons in a row so doing another half marathon really was no big deal for them. But you would never have known it. You would have thought I was running for president and they were all my supporters. It was such a shift of energy – a feeling of acceptance and support I had never felt before from runners. Since I’m so slow and most runners are all about time and being fast, they don’t usually want anything to do with a slowpoke – and an old one to boot.

I know that I would not even have attempted this had it not been for all their energy. I was thinking about that last night especially as I still sat in awe of what I actually went out and did. Would I have done 6 runs in a row of 13.1 miles each and one of 26.2 miles – all in 7 days without them? NO! I can almost guarantee it. I fed off their energy pure and simple. You could feel it surround everyone, not just me. This group of people (and especially the race director) are very special folks filled with so much love and dedication.

Each step was preceded by my new mantra – forward motion. That’s all it was – relentless forward motion. I had to just continue moving forward. That’s what we all must do in life – every day, every minute, we have to continue to move forward. Do not ever forget that.

There were many obstacles during this 7 days for sure. I will talk about them more later. Again, if left to my own devices I would not have completed these events. Yet with the encouragement and witnessing of what each of them was working toward and overcoming I was able to overcome my own monsters (obstacles).

Here’s some words  and phrases that describe the concepts I experienced in 7 days – and I’ll talk more about these in future parts: Perspective, Perception, Persistence,  Overcoming Obstacles, Judgment, Perseverance, Passion, Pursuit, Love, Friendship, Camaraderie, Chunking Down, Acceptance, Mind over Body, Mind with Body, Pushing Pain, Loving What you Do, Doing What You Love, Teamwork, Balance, Rest,  Achievement, and so much more

There’s much to be learned about life in this short time frame. I can tell you that my power and my perspective has definitely changed.

Til later – sign up for Define & Conquer 2013 NOW.

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Next Step – Getting Specific

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Now that you’ve picked the one (or maybe two) primary desires for 2013 you need to get specific about them.

1) Break down that one goal/desire into the various components. This may take you some time because it’s not something you’re used to doing but it’s a vital part of the planning process. Let’s take weight loss just as an example.

A couple of days ago when you were writing down your desires you may have simply listed “lose weight”. Now (once you’re sure it’s your goal and not someone else’s) review the feelings and emotions that you also wrote down.

From this list of emotions you will probably see that the phrase “weight loss” is very vague. But maybe you’re afraid to put a number down because you’ve tried this before with a number and haven’t succeeded. So, here’s what you really want I’ll bet:

  • To look good
  • To look  and feel sexy
  • To be able to walk without huffing and puffing
  • To not be embarrassed at the gym or even in your neighborhood
  • To have more energy and not be tired all the time
  • etc…..

What’s really your goal? Not a certain number of pounds but how you want to feel and then what it takes to get there. It’s your ultimate outcome. What are you really after?

Say you put down that you want a different job. Why? What is it you really want?

  • More money?
  • Less travel time for commute?
  • Better hours?
  • More pleasant working relationships?
  • Better boss?
  • More excitement?
  • More responsibility?
  • More freedom?
  • More chance to move up?
  • What?

See what I mean about getting specific? Break it down. Find out what you really want.

2) Then list the components of this specific goal.  If it’s an object, it’s pretty easy – let’s take a car. Write down:

  • What make?
  • What color?
  • What size – compact, sedan, SUV?
  • What kind of audio system?
  • What type of warranty?
  • What gas mileage?
  • How many seats?
  • New/used?
  • Get very specific

What about weight loss? Let’s say your ultimate goal is to be able to exercise without pain or trouble breathing. How will we get specific with this one? From your inventory you know that you can walk about a quarter of a mile now before you get out of breath. So the components of this could be listed as:

  • Be able to walk 0.3 mile without getting out of breath
  • Be able to walk 0.3 mile without pain.
  • Be able to walk 0.5 mile without being out of breath.
  • Be able to walk 0.5 mile without pain.
  • To purchase a new pair of sweatpants, shorts, or top one size smaller
  • and so on

See how you break this down into achievable sections. Notice that none of these say anything about a specific number of pounds lost. That’s because the number of pounds lost is NOT really the ultimate goal. To be able to exercise without pain or trouble breathing does not necessarily require a specific number of pounds lost. It requires increased cardiovascular capability and increased joint strength and stability. There are various ways to achieve these. Undoubtedly you will take off weight but that is not the primary way to achieve your goal. But let’s say you found a magic way to lose 10 pounds by the weekend. That does not necessarily mean that you will be able to walk any further than you can now without breathing problems or joint pain. See how you’re really after an ultimate result, not necessarily the removal of certain pounds.

Take the time to sort through this and then make a nice long list where you’ve broken down the goal into multiple components.

This is step 3 – have at it now!

Terrie

 

 

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Ok so Christmas is over…now what?

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Hopefully you had a wonderful day yesterday and enjoyed the birth of a new you. That’s really what Christmas is about. If you believe that Christ is within, then Christmas is a time of birth within – the birth of a new you. This also fits with the other theory about the “end of the world” which was that it was just the end of an era and the beginning of a new one.

As we head toward 2013, are you planning on making the most of this time, this upcoming year of transformation? I hope so.  I’ve been encouraging you to take stock of where you were a year ago and compare that to where you are now. Even if you don’t think you’ve accomplished much or come very far, I ask you to look at it again from a different perspective. I’ll give you a couple of my examples even though this is difficult to set out on the internet but I want you to see how I’ve been looking at things. But first, how did I know where I was last year? I used a few tools (and encouraged myself to do more this coming year – and you know what? This might be your only desire or goal this coming year – to record what happens AND how you feel about those events almost each and every day in 2013 – at the very least once a week..but I digress).

  • I used my calendar where I put everything down so that I remember what I have to do when.
  • I also used my Gratitude Journal which has a section for my “gratitudes” as well as a comments section. Usually seeing something written down will spark my memory.
  • I perused my email as well and got a few pointers from that.

So here’s a few examples.

Running:

  • Last December I was able to run about 3 miles and that wasn’t very good. I had run my first race (a 5K) in November – first race in 11 years. I was very slow.  But in 2010 I was unable to run at all and couldn’t walk more than 1/10th of a mile without bad back pain.
  • I gradually built my mileage so that by July I was able to run 18-20 miles every Sunday and did so up through October 2012 preparing for the New York City Marathon.
  • My hopes for the 2012 NYC Marathon were dashed but my love for running was not so I continued to run although not the really long distances I had been running. I decided to move to half-marathons for a tiny bit of a challenge until I’m ready to ramp up for 2013 NYC marathon. I’m also planning on preparing for running ultramarathons again so yesterday I did one half-marathon and today I’ll do another – my first back to back events. You could look at the half-marathon as not much distance but the different aspect is the back to back and taking a different step forward. That’s forward motion and that’s really what we’re looking for with our lives.

Computer Application:

  • The computer program I spent 2-3 years working on for work was being tested last December and there were still many things to get ready before it “went live” in March.
  • I spent many hours working on that and several trips to Colorado to work with the programmers.
  • We went live in March and despite the usual problems a new application will have, it worked very well.
  • That’s a definite achievement in my book and gave me invaluable experience – both in planning and in creating new projects in the future.

Career:

  • I had another one of those “magical” emails – a second one since 2006 where I opened it for no known reason and it changed my life.
  • I enrolled in a coaching certification program. I’ve always coached people all throughout my Navy career but never been certified.
  • This program also opened my eyes to the Abraham-Hicks material that I became engrossed in and have absorbed like a sponge
  • I set my sites toward retirement from my Army job in order to work full time in my coaching practice. Most everything I’ve done since May has been directed along those lines – with that goal in mind.
  • I joined another program in November – for those with Coaching businesses so I’m putting my ducks in a row there.
  • These are positive steps for me again headed forward.

This is just a simple list of the primary events in my life this past year. What’s missing is the emotions  that accompanied each section and each forward (or backward) step – and all of these events had both forward AND backward steps. The emotions and feelings are vital for you to put down in order to determine where you are right now.

I’ll give you a shocking (to me) example. This was a very strange experience for me. I hadn’t been swimming in about 1 1/2 years. But I had the urge to do so the other day. So I went to the gym and got in the water and started swimming. I used to love to do laps. But I was BORED. I  still can’t believe it but it’s not something that I actually miss – I just thought I missed it. If you had asked me about my emotions surrounding swimming a week ago they would have consisted of words like “excitement”, “enthusiasm”, “happiness”, etc. Now my emotions are very blah – bored, take it or leave it, can’t see what all the hype is about, etc. To me, this is the most dramatic shift in my thoughts and feelings I’ve ever experienced. The point is, though, that you have to put feelings with this inventory you’re taking so that you’ll know what truly is something you’re excited about and want to continue to have as a part of your life.

Since we still have about a week until 2013 dawns, continue to work on your list – you will narrow it down, take inventory and then we’ll talk about making it more specific. But today, between returning presents and cleaning up, I’d like you to write down that inventory so you can see where you were, what you’ve done and how far you’ve come in the past year. Will you try that for me? I’m positive you’ll be glad you did!

Terrie