Category Archives: Goals

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Find A Way in 2014

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practice1 Welcome to the greatest year of your life – EVER!

Why have I “waited” so long to write this? Why didn’t I get it out there on 1 January?

I’ll tell you why and there are two reasons:

1) I was doing a six day run (and am proud to say that I covered 200 miles during those 6 days – it was a terrific moment for me) called “Across The Years” – meaning it started in 2013 and ended in 2014. So, I was a bit out of commission at the first of the year.

2) I really loathe the hype that surrounds the New Year. People make it out like it’s the only time of year you can (or should) make changes in your life. Why? Why can’t you decided today to make changes? Why can’t you decide that you don’t need to make any changes, you don’t need any resolutions, that maybe you’re ok as you are? Why oh why does everyone HAVE to make some sort of resolution to change every year on 1 January?

This superimposed “you must change” edict that you see all over the TV, the papers, the internet (must be true of course right?), and in the conversations all around you is enough to make you feel guilty if you don’t want to participate in “changing your life forever”.

What happens if you’re just not “in the mood” at this time of year (which many people aren’t – it’s a big time for depression but that’s not talked about as much) so you don’t make any New Year’s resolutions? You feel guilty and unworthy and not “part of the crowd”. You feel as if you don’t belong. It seems that making resolutions keeps you in the mainstream of human nature so you do belong and are just like everyone else.

But the other thing that happens if you don’t participate in the “New Year’s Resolution” process is that then you feel that you can’t ever make any changes, any alterations to your life until “next year” – where you will probably repeat this same process and set of emotions. So 1374635_10151938781002408_1738297909_nyou put off making any changes even when you ARE motivated for it – because it’s NOT the New Year.  Why don’t you do it then? Because there’s no hype, no being part of the process, no belonging if you decide in June that you have something in your life that you want to alter. You feel foolish telling people you’ve made a resolution. Their response might be “now?, why?” And that will help defeat you before you even start. You won’t have the support that you would have had if you had started when everyone else did – even though your heart wasn’t really in it.

So, let me ask you this – did you make resolutions? Where are you with them now  that we are half way through January?

More importantly – have you taken an inventory and listed everything that’s great about you and that you’re grateful for? That should be your first step for sure. Because you have to focus on the good parts of you more than the “bad” things, the things that you think have to change and have to change right this minute.  Once you’ve taken this inventory and expressed your gratitude, you can list the areas you want to examine that might show you areas you’d like to concentrate on. I don’t want to say change because that word often implies significant effort and obvious (to others) alterations.  To concentrate on something might mean simply focusing more on a process such as keeping a gratitude journal or making sure every day you say your “gratitudes” even if you don’t write them down. So what can others see to know you’ve accomplished something? Probably nothing immediate and the change  in you they might not attribute to this action/concentration. You might not either but it will most likely be because you have paid attention to gratitude.

iStock_000005883875XSmallI want everyone to spend January thinking and writing about how great they are and all their terrific qualities. Write them down. Make a list of all you have accomplished – you can start with 2013 but go back all the way through your life and write, write, write.

This is your starting point. You can alter how you feel and think about things just by taking this life inventory and dwelling on all you have and all you’ve done. Stop focusing on the bad or negative things.

2014 will be the best year of your life and you will NOT have to put much effort in it. Stick with me and I’ll show you how this will happen. Are you willing to take that risk?

Terrie

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Change Your Outlook!

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End of summer I don’t know how many of you have this issue, but I’m not a “holiday” person and have always seemed to have difficulty handling the “end of the year”.

It’s taken me a long time to realize why the “end of the year” has been depressing for me but I finally figured it out.

It’s because of the way we tend to look at this time period. We look at it as if it is The END – no more, finished, over with, stopped etc.

People treat the arbitrary determination of December as an end and January as a beginning. Life is not really like that, however. It’s all a continuum and should be treated as such. We should look at December as just another month and if we do tend to get caught up in the hype of resolutions and change, etc, it should be in the face of simply reviewing where we are at any point in time and revising how we approach our lives.

I will be putting up a special report on how to look at the end of the year and your goals in the next few days but I just wanted to mention that it’s all about how you look at this time of year. Remember that your thoughts rule your life and no one is in charge of your thoughts but you! Therefore, try to look at this month as a time of celebration and joy. Actually, I think that because it’s so hectic and so filled with other activities, that this is probably the worst time you could possibly think of making any resolutions or new goals. You are too exhausted (mentally and physically to say nothing of emotionally or spiritually) and when you’re exhausted, you’re depleted. When you’re depleted is when you’re most susceptible to the outer influences of media, family, friends and more media. You’ll start seeing all the ads for gyms and weight loss products (is there ever a time they aren’t around us – sandwiched between ads for fast food of course?). So it’s easy to start feeling guilty that you’re a failure and “NEXT YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT” – why wait til the end of the year to think or say that. Why not wait until you’re more rested and energized and then figure out what you like and don’t like about your life, what you want to change, what you can change and then how you’re going to do it. We had our “Define and Conquer 2013” last year in February for that exact reason – wait until this exciting time is over and then go for it! Let me know in the comments if you’re interested in Define and Conquer 2014.

Meanwhile, don’t add stress to your life by worrying about goals and resolutions – enjoy the season! I think some people use the first of the year coming as an excuse to really overdo it during this holiday season of FOOD and DRINK. Take a look at how you want this  to be for you. If you’re willing to pack on a couple of pounds accept it and go for it. If you want to maintain your healthy lifestyle figure out how to overcome all the temptations. Take control of your own life!

Terrie

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Do You Have A Daily “To Be” List?

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check_off_with_pencil_800_7226Almost everyone I know has a “to do” list and they update it at least once a day if not more. It’s full of things that have to get accomplished, places to go, items to pick up, people you want to eat with etc.

Busy, busy, busy.  “Life is so complicated” – that seems to be this generation’s mantra. But is it really as complicated as we make it? Does it have to be?  I, personally, do NOT think it has to be so complicated. But am I an expert at uncomplicating it? Unfortunately no.

However, I do know that one way we can make it more meaningful is to work just as hard on a daily “To Be” list as we do on our daily “To Do” list.

The recent shooting at the Navy Yard has had a significant impact on me because it’s so recent and perhaps, because that is where I spent the last 9 years of my Navy career. The other mass shootings and tragedies we’ve had have been important too but I think I was in this particular place right now for many other reasons. Different events impact us in different ways based on how our lives are going in general.

What I started to think about and realize after this latest mess was that those people who were shot got up, ate breakfast, maybe worked out, got ready for work and traveled there – some maybe dreading the drudgery of the day, to besome maybe dreading the day because of boredom and wanting to be retired or someplace else, some just wanting to get thru the day to get it over with, some just too exhausted to think about anything, some not even thinking about work but too sad and depressed to care, some happy about life and looking forward to the evening or the weekend, etc etc.

But their lives were suddenly cut short.

What would you think about your life up to this point if it ended unexpectedly today? You may not have achieved all your goals but would that change what would be your epitaph?

Why not start making a daily “To Be” list.

Include things like:

  • “I am happy today”
  • “I am pleasant to everyone today”
  • “I make at least one (or two or three – you pick) people smile today”
  • “I help another person in some way today”
  • “I want to be there for someone who needs me today – or for someone who needs support”

Put down what it is you want to be – how you want to be remembered.

This list might also include ways you want to feel that day – happy instead of sad, in the moment instead of just waiting til closing time, etc.

This may seem a bit difficult initially but if you make it a practice everyday it will become as automatic as your “To Do” list.

Try it this week – but don’t just make the list, “BE” what you wrote!

Let us know what happens. Does it change your feelings about your day? What else?

Terrie

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What’s Your “Nyad”?

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Figure out what’s inside of you – what’s there that you want to accomplish, what’s there that you’ve been dreaming about for years, what are you passionate about? That’s your “Nyad“.

You can adopt that phrase to represent something deep inside you that you really want to accomplish. It’s most likely something that you’re not ready to announce or even tell your significant other yet. Perhaps it’s still in the gestation period and you need to nurture it some more.

Today is the day to start ‘watering’ and nourishing your “Nyad”.  Consider using “The Passion Test” to help you with this.  It’s a great story and the test is actually pretty quick and easy – plus it’s YOURS and you can also refine it as you go along.

If you’re not happy or are feeling like something is missing in your life, this is the place to start. There is a “Nyad” buried deep in each of us. Most of us are afraid to admit it – even to ourselves. But you don’t need to be afraid to find it my dream isand cherish it and smile to yourself. Keep it to yourself because it’s still fresh and vulnerable and all those well-meaning folks around you will try to “protect” you by convincing you that your idea/dream is “really stupid” or “you can’t do that – when are you going to have the time to do that?” or “What? You’ve got to be kidding, right?”. This is a pretty normal reaction from folks around you and it’s the easiest way to set yourself up for failure or derailment. So keep it to yourself until you have firm plans in place.

If you don’t have the Passion Test and want to get started right now, start writing down exactly what your ideal life will be like. What will you be doing or being or what will you have? These are not goals, they are processes.  Take that first step today. What is it you REALLY want? Look deep inside. What’s been there nagging you all through your working to “make a living”, “raise a family”, “be a good spouse”, etc. We put off what we want for so long and for so many other reasons that it’s time we just said – “hey, this is really what I want to do with my life and I’m going to start pursuing it now”!

Do NOT allow yourself to be stopped by the fear or wonder of how on earth you’ll be able to pull this off. The Universe will provide the way and clear the obstacles for you.

Will you start making that list today? I am. Share below if you like – ideas on this topic, not necessarily your dreams (yet).  If you want to be bold, you certainly can share your goal!

Terrie