Category Archives: Beliefs

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How The Most Important People In Your Life Have Ruled It

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people-influencing1We all like to think that we are autonomous and have some semblance of control over our lives. But, in actuality we do not have as much control over our lives as we think. No matter how old you are, you are carrying a great deal of baggage with us. And we don’t even know it. That’s the difficult part.

Why does this happen? Because we are so influenced as a child and as we grow up. We believe pretty much everything that people tell us because we don’t know any better. By the time we do know better, our beliefs have been so ingrained in us that we don’t even recognize that the choices aren’t ours.

If we’re not open to exploring where our beliefs and thoughts came from, then we’re stuck with what was taught us in our growing years. You have to be able to look at your beliefs and say “whoa, maybe that’s not true…let me check it out.” I think this pattern is how racism and other forms of discrimination are perpetuated. I think we are taught that certain colors, genders, behaviors etc are “good” or “bad” and since the people we respected and relied upon when growing up told us these things, they must be true, right? It’s not easy to question things that you have believed for decades. That’s hard, and often times it hurts too. Especially when you realize that the people you respected and loved might have been wrong about something. But, in order to grow we have to do it. We have to be willing to experience uncertainty and fear and the unknown in order to grow. If we stay in our little cocoons, then we don’t grow or change and life will just continue to pass us by.

When you think about this concept, it’s a bit easier to look at the “mass consciousness” and see how that works. So many things have changed throughout the years because people have been willing to question what they were taught. This happens in nutrition and science all the time. When I was growing up, you had to balance your food using the word “starch” – you never hear that now. Then you have the controversy about which type of diet is the best for you. Are eggs good or bad? Is meat good or bad? Should you worry about your cholesterol or not?

Medicine has changed because people have been willing to challenge and question beliefs. That’s how infections were discovered and subsequently dealt with.  Cancer treatments and theories have changed throughout the years. If people just accepted what they were told, then there would be no research and no improvements in treatments.

How can you examine your beliefs and your thoughts and see what it is you need to (or want to change – maybe you won’t want to change things but at least you should examine them)?

Take some time to think about your life and your experiences and even browse the news websites and see what items get your emotions going. If you can read a title of something and not get emotional or charged, then you probably don’t have an issue with that concept or belief. But if you hit something that really gets you going, then you might benefit from looking at what you believe and then, more importantly, why. A good example is all the articles and discussions about police brutality. What is it that you believe about the police? About demonstrators? And then answer where you got those ideas?

Do the same about wars and about weight and about publicity or models or actors. Or anything you see around you. What do you think about various races or even gender identity? Do “Gay Pride” parades bother you or what? Go to TED.com and look at the titles of the presentations. Do they generate any emotions? What do you think about athletes making so much money? Actors making so much money? What does that tell you about your beliefs about wealth? You have to go further than just ‘that makes me mad” – what is it about that thing that does make you mad? Is it that you feel you’ve worked very hard all your life and you “deserve” to make more money and yet these athletes just run around a court or a field and make more money than “they’re worth”? Are these the thoughts that go through your head? Write them down as they come. Examine them later.  But do examine them!

Take a few days to start this process and see what happens. Any time you react to anything, you know there is a belief somewhere in there.

Terrie

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What Are You Avoiding?

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what-are-you-avoidingYour first reaction’s going to be “I don’t need to read this because Terrie can’t be talking about me. I don’t avoid things!”

Think again. When was the last time you obsessed about something or had something go wrong in your life? Both of these might indicate that there’s something in your life (past or present) that your subconscious is avoiding.

Take weight loss for example. Some people focus on this all their life. On the surface you’d think that this was legitimate and that “of course, they should think about losing weight.” I’m not talking about the once a week, feeling bloated, thinking you need to lose weight. I’m talking about those folks that have very few other thoughts but those about weight and food. Yes, they can function in life and do the other things they have to do. But every other minute of their lives, their mind only thinks about losing weight or being heavy or on this food or that food and it’s evil qualities. And, yet they don’t care so much about those other things so the majority of the time when their mind wanders, it goes to that one topic! Nothing else.

Who knows what each person has had in their experience. Often times the person doesn’t even know. That’s why it’s difficult to figure out what’s going on – ignorance sometimes is NOT bliss.

You should be able, though, at least in retrospect, to figure out at least that you are trying to avoid something. If you find yourself really obsessing about or constantly returning to the thoughts about something, then look at what’s in the periphery of your mind – what’s poking it’s head above the ground. These little buds will give you a hint as to what you are really supposed to be paying attention to.

If for some reason you’re trying to avoid an upcoming event, it helps to do a weekly and monthly review of what’s coming in your life. When you do that, then you examine your thoughts about those events. Let me give you an example. I knew that I had at least two significant events coming up in March, neither of which I felt prepared for. And I was very concerned about having to go to both totally unprepared. those worries continued to come back to me.  This kept recurring even though I was pretty diligent about using my favorite saying “everything always works out for me”. But since I’m used to these self-doubts I really didn’t think much about what was going on inside of me. I should have learned from two years ago when I learned that I had such “power” to create adversity for myself to help me avoid things I was uncertain of. But, alas, I didn’t learn. The Universe has its ways of teaching, though (ha ha) and since I didn’t learn my lesson then, it knew it had to send me another “course” to take…just like being back in school. Oh well. And you all know the rest…I ended up with a medical issue that required surgery and therefore provided me with a “legitimate” excuse/reason not to have to participate in those two events. It was much more socially acceptable than just having to say that I was going to pull out because I wasn’t prepared. How could I possibly admit that? See what I was avoiding.

Had I done an upcoming event review even 2-3 months before the events I would have been able to say “whoa, be careful what’s going on here. If you’re not prepared and can’t get prepared, pull out now and don’t worry about your pride. It’s not worth creating some medical or other issue to “get you out of it” Terrie.” As a result I would have been much more vigilant of my thoughts and done preparatory mental work to keep me from creating the “excuse”/reason. If I caught myself with any “anti” thought, I would have immediately countered it with more than just my general statement. I would not have been ignorant of what was happening inside my head (and body)

In my example I was avoiding not only an event but also thoughts and feelings. The thoughts were “if I don’t do these two things, I’ll be a failure”. The feelings or emotions that go along with those thoughts are obvious (fear, rejection, humiliation, shame, etc). Without going into great deal I hope you can see how complex these issues are.

So, if some adversity has happened in your life, take a look and see what the “side effects” were. By side effects I mean examples as I used above. What else happened that maybe you could consider beneficial? You have to look a bit deeper than normal though. For example, on the surface I was extremely disappointed I couldn’t do these two events. But that was simply superficial. Deep within, I realized my subconscious had done me a “favor” it thought.

People who have been abused physically, sexually or even emotionally will dissociate from their bodies and feelings so they do not have to experience the pain and hurt any more. That is a “side effect”. Everything that happens us is something we have created some how and there is usually both an up and a down side to it. Take some time to look back on your life and figure them out. I have done that and come up with many surprises.

Remember, the avoidance is a protective mechanism and it might have to do with:

  • an event
  • a thought
  • an emotion or feeling
  • all of the above

This may be hard for you to swallow but I think if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find some examples in your own life. You don’t need to tell anyone else. You just need to be aware so you can avoid a recurrence in the future.

Terrie

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Tuesdays With Terrie

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tuesdays-with-terrie-croppedI’m feeling stronger every day but am still having post-op issues which I am choosing to see as lessons that the Universe has sent me and I’ve refused to look at before. I think we all are like that and don’t really pay much attention to these messages until they smack you in the face. It behooves us to listen and learn earlier on rather than waiting for that smack. Oh well.

I make bone broth (good for immunity) in batches and put them in very large mason jars. Then when I’m ready to start to use that batch I have to remove the layer of hardened fat at the top (not as gross as it sounds).  If there is a thick layer (like all our limit beliefs), first I have to recognize that I don’t want this part of the package (identifying the limiting beliefs thatIMG_2329 are, well, “limiting”), then I have to cut through it (recognizing that a belief is a thought I just keep thinking over and over again) followed by removal of the lard to uncover the beautiful and healthy broth underneath (letting the real you come through and cultivating UNlimiting beliefs).

By now, you’re thinking that I need to see a psychiatrist or be locked up I’m sure. But it really is just like identifying and undoing your limiting beliefs.

This morning when I started a new batch, the lard layer was very deep and it took more effort to cut through it and I had to make more slices than the usual 4. I had to cut it more like a pie (or a pizza – yum). That took more effort to get through (those beliefs we’ve been harboring since childhood). Then when the cuts were made, I was having difficulty getting the pieces out because of the rounded shape to the bottle (sometimes we just give up trying to change our beliefs when we find it too hard to even break through. We give up when we can’t find a way to make any progress. Even when we’re trying to dig deep to get under the lard (belief), it seems as if there is a wall there and there is no way to remove this stuff (belief).

IMG_2330But then all of a sudden, you’ve manipulated the stuff around and around and finally you get a small piece out (you see some changes in your repetitive thoughts). Once that first piece is out, the foundation is rocked and you can now proceed to remove the rest more rapidly. It almost seems easy at that point and you wonder why it took so long or seemed so hard (you now are having an easy time with your new thoughts/beliefs).

When I recognized this metaphor/analogy/whatever (I always get them confused) this morning, I knew that this was a turning point, not only for people I work with on their limiting beliefs but also for myself.  The initial frustration made things more difficult – I was pushing against resistance to try to get big pieces out with one attempt. That ended up taking more time than if I had just worked to get a small piece removed and gradually continued with my progress. I think we try to bite off more than we can chew (or remove) and then we’re upset when we can’t get it all out (get to the goal – the ultimate destination) “real soon”. It takes patience and we really do need to slow down.

“Slow down” has become my mantra after this experience as you’ve seen in other posts and will continue to see. I’ve missed so much of life going after the destination and trying to remove all the lard at once. Now I’m going to not fight, not meet the resistance with force but with relaxation and gentleness and see what happens. So what that I can’t go to the 100 mile race this coming weekend – the one I was so happy to have finally gotten into? Will my world end? Heck no. So what if I still can’t run for a few more weeks? What else can I do to substitute for that? Many things. I have a wonderful life and just want to give to others in whatever way I can. That is my journey.

I know I rambled a lot today but I’ve learned so much just from this one jar of bone broth! Who knew?

Terrie

 

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Tweak Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life

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tweakyourbeliefsTiny changes in your belief system will significantly transform your life! Just think about that for a moment. It won’t take a great deal of work to make small modifications.

How can you do that? You can identify something that you believe but don’t want to – such as “I don’t deserve to be rich” or “the rich are greedy” (these are beliefs you hold deep in your subconscious and they hold you back). You want to have money. You want prosperity in your life. But somehow something is holding you back. If you then realize that you’ve always been told and believe that rich people are greedy or even that they are stingy, you’ve got these obstacles to your obtaining prosperity because you don’t want to be greedy or stingy.

What is a small tweak you can make in this belief? Think of just one person you know who has a lot of money (and that is from your perspective, no one else’s). Is that person greedy or stingy. An easy one to pick is Bill Gates. Everyone criticizes him for Windows and then they are “mad” that he has so much money from something that doesn’t always work as they want it. Well, there are several items for examination here. One is that Bill Gates himself doesn’t deserve to be paid for creating his product(s). We have run into that frequently in the spiritual realm. People think that just because it involves spirituality or religion, everything should be free. That is totally bogus. If something is valuable, you should be willing to pay for the product or service in order to show gratitude in one way but more importantly to circulate our currency throughout the Universe. Notice how we’ve uncovered another belief here – that people “owe” others free information. Or said in a different way “I shouldn’t have to pay for information that will benefit me”. That is really one you have to work on if it’s in your subconscious mind.

Another belief we identified here is that it’s the program creator’s fault that something doesn’t work as you want it to. 10994464_10153114509652863_2092206806244416611_nConsider that it might have something to do with all the other junk you have on your computer (I speak from experience) or that the other folks who have developed programs might have messed something up. Don’t blame everything on someone else – we’ve talked about that before.

You can see how thinking of one rich person for just a few seconds has surfaced several limiting beliefs and a pattern of putting blame (and responsibility) on external sources.

Working on all of these beliefs (and I’ll bet there are others underneath them) seems ominous and intimidating. But let’s start small. Remember we’re working on the belief that rich people are greedy and stingy. All you have to do is think about how much good Mr. Gates has done for AIDS. He has probably done more than anyone else in the world as far as that cause is concerned. If he were greedy and stingy would he have done that? Your next limiting belief might surface at that statement – “well, he probably just supports the charity because of tax deduction.” While that may be a benefit, if you research how much he’s done and what it’s entailed, you’ll see that it goes way beyond tax deductions. Most rich people are passionate about helping others in some way or another. I know that the primary reason I want to be prosperous is so that I can support St Jude Children’s Research Hospital and can help others.

This is just a tweak but it’s already dug into the foundation of your limiting beliefs regarding being rich. You only need to delve into things slightly and then once you start digging, you’ll be like an archaeologist and be excited about all you’ve uncovered. You’ll want to continue your expedition and see what else you can work on to help you eliminate these beliefs that are holding you back!

Try it and see what happens.

Terrie

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Complaining & Criticizing Is Making You Sick & Unhappy…And It’s Holding You Back

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stop complainingI think this is one of the most important points I’ve made in a very long time. Whenever you are complaining or criticizing, you’re putting out negative vibrations and thoughts into the Universe. And even if they are thoughts about someone else or some other situation, the Universe only knows that they are emanating from you! Therefore the Universe simply thinks you want more of that negativity to come into your life.

What good does complaining and criticizing do anyway? Does it accomplish complaininganything? No, of course not. It’s different that stating an issue and presenting a solution if there’s one warranted. If there isn’t a solution needed, then there really isn’t a problem is there? And there’s nothing to complain about. Perhaps it’s something that you’re not overly happy about – let’s say a change requested by your new boss. If there’s no solution you can see, then stop and ask yourself what’s really bothering you. Is it, perhaps, that you just don’t like change and that’s why you’re not happy? Is it that you didn’t think of it and that’s why you’re not happy? Is it because you’ll have to start doing things differently and you are happy and content in your current comfort zone? What really is going on in your mind and your heart? That is what you have to investigate no matter how deep you have to dig. Go within, not without. Complaining and criticizing is going “without”. Whereas the introspection to figure out what is going on inside of you is going “within”. That is growth and will help you learn what is going on inside of you and what to do about it. It may be (but probably isn’t) that there really is a problem and with this in depth look, you’ll come up with a solution. However, it is more likely that you’ll find out more about yourself and then be able to improve your outlook and attract more positive things into your life.

Constant codont complainmplaining and criticizing also will make you sick because of all the negative energy surrounding you. Negative thoughts and feelings put you in a low level stress response and the excess cortisol that you’re constantly producing in that state will eventually lead to chronic fatigue and lower your immunity. You really can make yourself sick in so many ways. Do you ever say things like “I’m sick and tired” or “I’m fed up” or even worse “This is killing me” or “you make me sick”. These are all affirmations to the Universe to bring you more of what you’re talking about – the Universe does NOT know that these are just expressions.

Unless you turn within and investigate what is making you feel these negative vibrations, you will never grow and progress. The complaining and criticizing will hold you back. It’s just further validation of your limiting beliefs. You never have the chance to explore what those beliefs are and why you have them and more importantly, how to clear tholding_back_competitors_400_clr_11096hem and figure out what you really want to believe. That is the only way you’ll grow and progress. So, if you feel you’re being held back, realize that you are not being held back by anyone or anything. It’s you who are holding yourself back.  You really are and can be in control of your progress and growth. Stop blaming anyone or anything but yourself. What happened in the past is in the past. The present and the future is totally up to you. You can continue to try to blame external sources but that won’t get you anywhere. The Universal Laws operate within you. You really do have control of your life. Of course, with that awareness comes the responsibility to take things into your own hands. Often that is a great burden but it also brings tremendous freedom! Once you know that you can change things, you can bring whatever you want into your life, you feel lighter and happier. And you realize that you have the ability to grow and nurture yourself to a degree you’ve never had before.

Keep track of how often you complain or criticize others. Figure out something to do to change your thoughts and behavior when you find yourself doing that. For example, just say something like “that person is doing the best he can with what he has” or “I’m sure that he has reasons for behaving that way and I just don’t know what they are”. Practice that on easy things like when you start to criticize other drivers or other parents or someone at a grocery store or event. Simple things that really are unimportant. Once you start practicing on those, you’ll find it easier to change the way you think about the more important things in your life.

Let us know what you think about this and if you can see any pattern in your life that has followed this sequence. I know I can.

Terrie