Category Archives: Success

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What Story Are You Telling?

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book_character_reading_400_clr_9091What? What the heck are you talking about Terrie? What do you mean by my “story”?

Everything we talk about is in story form in one fashion or another.

There are facts and there are stories that revolve around those facts. The stories vary from person to person. Look at so-called “eyewitness” accounts. They can differ dramatically. It’s all about interpretation. You’ve heard “perception is reality” I’m sure. Well that is true.

And there is a definite vibration surrounding your story. So why not tell the story the way you wanted it to be? “But that would be lying” you say. Not really. You can talk about facts without putting lower level vibrations (also known to some as “negative” vibrations) into them. Let’s take a recent example that I mentioned Sunday about not getting into the 100 mile endurance run I wanted to get into.

Facts:

  • I prepared really well:
    • I wrote in my gratitude journal that I got into this event
    • I had no other activities planned for that day until after the sign up time
    • I rebooted both of my computers and shut down everything that would use up resources
    • I was online on both computers on the right site so that I just had to click refresh
  • I clicked refresh repeatedly when the registration link did not show up
  • I repeated this action for 30 minutes, never getting a live registration link
  • I did not get into the event

Stories:

  1. It’s just not fair that I didn’t get in. I did everything right. It must be fixed so that only certain people get in. Why couldn’t I get in. It’s not fair. They don’t want people to participate unless they are specially chosen. I can’t do anything right. This must mean that all this Law of Attraction and gratitude stuff doesn’t really work. I’m so hurt, sad, disappointed, frustrated. I’m really mad I wasted my whole Saturday.
  2. I didn’t get in. There is a reason and it’s one I can’t see right now but I know that “everything always works out for me” and this will too. I had considered whether the dates of this event were too close to the more important 150 mile event I am going to do for MS so maybe this is the Universe’s way of confirming that. It also means I can find other events to run in. I just have to look and will find something even better for me.

See how the facts are pretty straight forward but the two stories are completely different? And there are multiple variations on the story that I could have written.

Which story do you want to tell? Practice changing your story. We’ll talk more about this later this week but right now it’s time for a run!

Terrie

 

 

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What Are You Thinking?

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what are you thinkingYou’re sitting there kind of zoned out and all of a sudden someone says “what are you thinking?” and it pulls you out of your reverie. You probably answer “uh, nothing. What’s up”?

Does that sound familiar? You may actually believe the “nothing” part of that story but it’s not true. There is almost no moment during any day that you are NOT thinking something.

The challenge I have for you is to pay attention to what you are thinking ALL the time.  Decide to be diligent for at least ONE day this week (preferably more) to monitoring your thoughts – be your own “Big Brother”. You’ll be very surprised.

It’s pretty simple – you can use a small notebook you can carry in your pocket or your purse or you could even use a portable recording device (there are many apps for your smartphone that would serve that purpose).

 

Yes, I know you have to work and you have to take care of your family and more. But these busy times are the times when you’ll usually find the most revealing thoughts – things like:

  • “I can’t believe it, I don’t have any time to myself”
  • “I’m so overwhelmed”
  • “Gees, what more do they expect me to do”?
  • “Get out of my way damnit, I’m in a hurry”
  • “I’m so stressed out. I can’t take it any more”
  • “I hate this job (or fill in any blank)”
  • “It sucks to be me”
  • “Why me”?
  • “I can’t win”
  • “I can’t catch a break”
  • “How did I get myself in this mess”?
  • “I’m so angry/mad/p.o’ed”
  • “I’m afraid that ……”
  • “I’m so tired”
  • “I’m sick and tired of …….”
  • “You’re killing me with all this”
  • “I’m so ashamed that….”
  • “I”m so embarrassed”
  • “I wonder what he’s looking at”
  • “I wish I weren’t so ….. (fat, dumb, stupid, lazy, etc)”
  • “I wonder what would happen if…”
  • “I’ll never get all this done”
  • “That’s ugly”
  • “I wish I had that”
  • “God I’m starved”

These are just a few common thoughts I came up in a few seconds. There are millions more that you have going through your mind repeatedly.  The key word is “repeatedly” – we think the same things (perhaps with minor variations” over and over again. And if you remember how Abraham defines a belief, it’s “a thought we keep thinking over and over again”. So, guess what? You’re creating or reinforcing beliefs with all these “simple” thoughts.

Write down (make an effort) or record all your thoughts. It is important that you pay attention to all of them, not just the good ones, not just the bad ones – all of them. The idea is so that you can see how your thoughts balance out – what percentage of the time do you spend thinking positive thoughts and how much time do you spend thinking less than positive thoughts. And then, what thoughts are you repeating throughout the day – whether positive or not. Those are the ones you’re cementing in your subconscious as beliefs. You really want to make a conscious choice about what beliefs you cultivate, don’t you?

When you write these thoughts down, pay attention to what’s going on at that time – are you stressed, relaxed, working out, in the car, what? Make sure to pay attention to any follow-on thoughts and actions. For instance, if, after you think, “God I’m starved”, you your thoughtshead to the snack machine or the refrigerator and pick something you wouldn’t necessarily describe as “healthy”, write down what thoughts (if any) are going through your mind as you hit that button or pull open the frig door. Is it “I really shouldn’t be doing this” or is it “some chips or ice cream is just what I need right now”.  Perhaps you’re not even thinking – you’re just rushing to the machine so that you can take the food to numb the feelings. Unfortunately, you may be using the food to numb the feelings (stress, overwhelm etc) but you’re probably still thinking while you’re doing it. And you’ve made a conscious choice to pick the food regardless of the negative thoughts because feeling the pain from the emotion is worse than feeling the guilt or shame from having eaten that ice cream.  Some people use cigarettes, alcohol, food, drugs, abuse, exercise or many other actions to keep from feeling certain emotions.  Do you want to keep using your “drug of choice”? Or do you want to change your behavior? If you want to change your behavior you have to change your thoughts.

Here’s a short example. Yesterday was the day runners could try to get into a popular 100 mile race (Umstead- one I know I could do well at). I had planned the day around the “registration attempt” time (11 am my time) and I’d used affirmations and beliefs that I was definitely going to get in. I had written in my gratitude journal every day that I was grateful that I got into Umstead 2014 (being specific so that the Universe knew that this was the one I meant, not sometime in the future).

11 a.m. came and I tried and to make a long story short, I didn’t get in. I could have spent the rest of the day being really bummed out and saying that all this stuff really doesn’t work and I’m just a hypocrite, blah blah blah. But you know what? That would have done absolutely nothing but bring my mood and vibration way down. I chose not to experience that so I realized that “everything always works out for me” (Lord knows I’ve experienced that so many times in my long life) and began to think about the alternative runs I could do or apply for. And my day improved. It took some conscious work but I chose to feel good, not to plummet to the depths of despair which I could easily have done had I not paid attention to my thoughts.

Are you up for this challenge? Can you commit to at least one day and hopefully more? Let us know by putting your comments in the box below.

Have a great day!

Terrie

 

 

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Is It Really Failure?

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street_sign_success_failure_400_clr_5768 What do you think Diana Nyad would say if you asked her if she had failed in her other attempts to reach Florida from Cuba? She’s very smart so I don’t know what her real answer would be but my answer would be that it depends on what you mean. Do you mean, “did I not succeed in actually swimming all the miles from Cuba to the Florida shore” she would probably say “no I did not swim the distance those other four times BUT I did not fail”.

As usual with words there are several definitions in the dictionary. Here’s one for failure: “omission of occurrence or performance” – so by that standard and to answer the strict question  of did she swim to the other shore, the answer would be no and that was a failure.

But here’s another definition of failure: “a subnormal quantity or quality” – All of her attempts were anything BUT subnormal. She has attempted more than most of us could even conceive of – that is not subnormal. Diana Nyad is very much supernormal!

Do we really care about the dictionary definitions? Not really. Because it’s your outlook that means everything in life. Your outlook reflects your attitude, your vibrational state. And it’s your vibrations that determine your outcome in life.

How do you look at things? How do you view what happens when you attempt something? Is your feeling and attitude dependent on the outcome – is your day measured by how well you stuck to your diet, by the number on the scale, etc? We use numbers so often to determine whether we succeeded  at something. And worse yet we do it subconsciously because it’s been so ingrained in us. I noticed that last week when I was doing my long run. I was feeling good about the run, I felt happy and was really enjoying everything. Then I glanced at my GPS (to see the distance but my eyes caught the time) and when I saw the time (a number) I was bummed out big time. If I had not been paying attention to how I reacted to things I would have let that one number ruin my entire day and run. How stupid could I be? How often do we do that? Instead of focusing on the good and the fun and the progress, I was about to focus on a stupid number as an artificial measure of my success or failure. I have to say that that’s pathetic (and this will be a big part of learning to hand our emotions surrounding weight in my upcoming coaching program). Fortunately because I had been attuned to this “number” issue over the past few weeks, I decided to do some EFT and get the concept that I failed  out of my head and go back to enjoying the great day!

diana-successDiana’s strategy, techniques and equipment changed with each attempt. I imagine some of her training may also have changed during the hiatus between jumps into the Cuban waters. But more importantly she noticed what she experienced that adversely affected her solution_puzzle_piece_box_400_clr_3988while she was on the swim and analyzed it to see what could be changed and then set about changing it. She took a medication for a sore shoulder that caused her to have an asthma attack. She investigated that and found the medications that she could take without having problems. She had already researched how to deal with the danger of sharks but I imagine that has even improved over the attempts, how to get hydrated and fed was most likely refined all this time (especially after swimming longer and being seasick and having all the salt water ingested), how to handle bites and stings were dissected and analyzed. And as you know, great research with many groups of people went into fighting the box jellyfish and they were finally conquered (thanks in part to Mother Nature).

Diana also went deep within to find ways to continue to swim in the face of hallucinations and sleep deprivation and immense fatigue. She created mantras (“Find a Way”) and the one I like the most – she used one hand to pull Florida toward her when stroking up and the other hand pushed Cuba behind her with the other direction stroke. How clever that was.

She also beefed up her social media team and they did an outstanding job during the swim. That not only generated more people following her but also kept those devoted followers (like me who was pretty much glued to the computer all weekend) constantly informed – much different than the other attempts.

All of these are successes – in no way can they be considered failures. Perhaps the only “failure” would have been to not try again this time. Everything else was training and she took all the results and made something special and positive of them!

Take a look at things you’ve considered failures in your life. Change your outlook and your vibrations regarding them and see what successes came out of them. Remember that everything always works out for you!

Terrie

 

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PN (Post Nyad) Day 2 – What Did You Do Differently Yesterday?

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joshbillings130930_m-resizedThis could be “PN” or “PD” (post Nyad or post Diana) – it doesn’t really matter. I just want to continue reminding you that your dreams are yours. As one reader commented though, they don’t all have to be physical. Diana Nyad’s achievement was not so much about endurance swimming as it was about the human spirit and she knows that and has tried to get that message across to all of us with her “three messages” and “Find a Way”.

So look at your day and do something different to get you going in a different direction. “That’s easy” you say – well, it’s not so easy. We are creatures of habit and that’s a safety measure built into our survival mechanism. We have to make a conscious effort to change things up. So pick one small thing to change and then do it. From my own experience I recommend you have alternative “changes” – all of which are small. Why? Because one might not pan out and if you have other options to pick from then you are more likely to actually do something instead of staying in the same rut and then spending the rest of the day or night chastising yourself for not doing it. We create more energy and “action” by criticizing ourselves for failure instead of looking at the situation and “Finding a Way”.

I’ll give you an example from yesterday for me. I decided to change up what I did when I came home. I planned on coming home and going for a run before my coaching call instead of just going to the grocery store to get One Stands Holding Change, Others Crusheddinner, coming home, eating it while reading, doing the call etc.

But as I was driving home, the same old pattern took hold and although I debated with myself with all sorts of “excuses” (it’s too hot, I’ll do it later etc), I ended up going to the grocery store first. So I “failed”, right? Not at all. First, I had thought about the habit/pattern and decided to make a change – that was definitely a different action/reaction than before. I was not operating as an automaton.

Then I “debated” which action I was going to take and why. Sure, most of the “whys” were excuses, not reasons …but – the key here is that I was thinking about it. Then I chose to NOT beat up on myself for not doing that ONE thing I had planned. I immediately looked for a different “change” to make (it would have been better had I come up with that option/alternative in the morning so I had some to fall back on but I didn’t and I learned from it).

So what did I do? I went and got dinner. But instead of eating it reading and watching TV, I ate it while sitting at my computer (instead of the recliner) going through and cleaning out my email. Was this the best course of action. Probably not – people will say I wasn’t “present” for my meal because I was multi-tasking and others will say it was still a waste of time. I disagree. All I know is that I felt good because I had done something different and had consciously thought about it. It was such a tiny little thing that would not be noticed by others. But my subconscious being sure noticed it and in this case it felt good – most likely there was no bad reaction from within because it was such a tiny change. You can’t make major changes right away. You have to work your way up to things.

Today’s action – take a look at your daily life  and routine and see what one tiny thing you can change that has to do with your dream. If you aren’t sure, yet, what your dream is, then just change something. See how it feels. Then keep going. Decide in the a.m. what you’re going to change. Then write in your gratitude journal (also can be called your success journal) about what happened. See how you feel and go from there.

Let us know what happened.

ONWARD – Find A Way!

Terrie

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Diana Nyad – Post Achievement – Ok, Folks What Are You Doing Today?

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Find.A.Way1-resized Don’t let this happen to you – we get all excited about someone’s achievement and talk about how they have “inspired” us to take action etc etc etc.

But the next day, what happens? You think about it (or not) and probably go right back to your old way of living.

Today is the day to make a change. To make a decision. Today (if you didn’t do it yesterday) you write a commitment to yourself about what you vow to do to follow a dream. Even if you don’t think you have a dream, take today to dig deep and write down all the things you’d like to do and have wanted to do since you were a little kid.  DO SOMETHING and DECIDE SOMETHING! Don’t wait for another great human interest story to get you all fired up – for a few hours or days. Do this now. Then use my Define and Conquer 2013 program to help you “Find a Way” (Diana Nyad 2 September 2013).

You cannot just sit on your butt and expect that your dream will be brought to you because you wished so hard. You have to do the work. But if you decide to follow it and you aim high and continually refocus and regroup, you WILL achieve your dream.follow dreams

There will be naysayers out there that will say Diana Nyad had it easy this year because the weather was good and there were no sharks and no jellyfish. Easy? Try enduring all she’s endured for the last 3 years with a near death experience last year, the disappointment and discouragement and the picking herself back up and looking at all possibilities and all avenues to find a way to combat those threats. I believe that Mother Nature said “ok, I know you’ve prepared and persevered so we will not throw much more in your way.” But ladies and gentlemen – she still had to do the swim. She still had to swim in the ocean for 110 miles, 53 hours never touching anything solid, not being able to rest her body and not sleep at all. And she’s 64. So don’t anyone say she had it easy.

You really can find a way. I will be on you about this all week until I feel you have either decided to do something or have really gone back into your habit hole (not rabbit but habit).

Let us know what you have decided to do!

Terrie