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Dr. Terrie Wurzbacher

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What’s The Perfect Gift?

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christmas_star_banner_13543With Christmas a day behind us, now the hustle and bustle to return gifts and then prepare for the New Year begins. Yet, there is one gift you cannot (and should not) return – the gift of friendship, the gift of love and kindness.

This year has been filled with so many different accomplishments, events and new people in my life – things I never ever envisioned for the year.  The entire took a complete 360 degree turn and seemed out of control but in actuality it all had a purpose and was aimed in the right direction for me.  I learned a lot about myself, a lot about people, a lot about friendship and even more about metaphysics as the year unfolded.

Of everything that transpired this past year, what I learned and experienced about friendship was the most important. From people I didn’t yet know to those whom I’ve known for years the value of their friendship became so important to me as the year went by.  I found out that some people are just interested in appearing to be friends but don’t really care whether you live or die whereas others really care and will do anything they can to support you when you need it. They are willing to stand by you no matter what happens.  For the first time in my life I ran across sociopaths and was “taken” by them.  I was hurt to the quick – the power of the sociopath is amazing. But as my heart recovered from the betrayal I found other people who were true in honesty and integrity and were virtuous beyond compare. Boy did I learn the true meaning of comparing “apples and oranges”.

But the friendships that came from the betrayal were solidified by them as well. They were made stronger because of the betrayal. We all moved past the hurt and into other realms of existence. More powerful and happy realms. As long as we learned from our experiences, those experiences were not bad. Their intensity died out as time went by and the power of the true bonds grew.  I am grateful for everything that happened this past year. It definitely was a year of growth and love.

Enjoy those who are around you because you never know when things will change in a split second. My other friendships were of that nature and we all learned to value each and every minute of our lives because you don’t know what lies ahead – and by ahead I mean a couple of hours or even minutes. Take this to heart even though you hear it all the time. Always consider how much you really care about someone before you open your mouth in anger or in hurt. You don’t know what your next words (if you get that chance) will be. Illness and injury strike without notice.  Love everyone around you and keep them around you – and most of all, let them know that they are loved.

Also love yourself and take care of yourself. This is essential. If you do not take care of yourself, you won’t be able to live life to its fullest; you won’t be able to fight off the bad times; and most of all you won’t be able to give to others. So, make your first priority yourself and your health.

Think back on this year and use the events and accomplishments as marking points for what you’ve learned about people and friends in your life!

Terrie

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Change Your Outlook!

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End of summer I don’t know how many of you have this issue, but I’m not a “holiday” person and have always seemed to have difficulty handling the “end of the year”.

It’s taken me a long time to realize why the “end of the year” has been depressing for me but I finally figured it out.

It’s because of the way we tend to look at this time period. We look at it as if it is The END – no more, finished, over with, stopped etc.

People treat the arbitrary determination of December as an end and January as a beginning. Life is not really like that, however. It’s all a continuum and should be treated as such. We should look at December as just another month and if we do tend to get caught up in the hype of resolutions and change, etc, it should be in the face of simply reviewing where we are at any point in time and revising how we approach our lives.

I will be putting up a special report on how to look at the end of the year and your goals in the next few days but I just wanted to mention that it’s all about how you look at this time of year. Remember that your thoughts rule your life and no one is in charge of your thoughts but you! Therefore, try to look at this month as a time of celebration and joy. Actually, I think that because it’s so hectic and so filled with other activities, that this is probably the worst time you could possibly think of making any resolutions or new goals. You are too exhausted (mentally and physically to say nothing of emotionally or spiritually) and when you’re exhausted, you’re depleted. When you’re depleted is when you’re most susceptible to the outer influences of media, family, friends and more media. You’ll start seeing all the ads for gyms and weight loss products (is there ever a time they aren’t around us – sandwiched between ads for fast food of course?). So it’s easy to start feeling guilty that you’re a failure and “NEXT YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT” – why wait til the end of the year to think or say that. Why not wait until you’re more rested and energized and then figure out what you like and don’t like about your life, what you want to change, what you can change and then how you’re going to do it. We had our “Define and Conquer 2013” last year in February for that exact reason – wait until this exciting time is over and then go for it! Let me know in the comments if you’re interested in Define and Conquer 2014.

Meanwhile, don’t add stress to your life by worrying about goals and resolutions – enjoy the season! I think some people use the first of the year coming as an excuse to really overdo it during this holiday season of FOOD and DRINK. Take a look at how you want this  to be for you. If you’re willing to pack on a couple of pounds accept it and go for it. If you want to maintain your healthy lifestyle figure out how to overcome all the temptations. Take control of your own life!

Terrie

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God Has Four Legs & A Wet Nose

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5088-71929905-d07befbaLittle did I know when I wrote yesterday’s post about a daily “To Be” list, that I’d be tested with the really tough ones today. But today I had to be compassionate and unselfish – and it was NOT easy.

My best friend in the world is now visiting with her sister, Crystal and my other babies (Bandit and Bashful). Her quality of life has been a question constantly in my mind for the last few months but she still enjoyed eating and even going for short walks – she would want to go further but her body didn’t handle that too well.  She would get out of bed when she wanted to and could get up on the bed at will without problems. But this a.m. when I got up and went looking for her (there were thunderstorms all night so it wasn’t surprising she was not in bed) she was unable to bear much weight on her hindlegs and pretty much had to scoot around. I knew it was finally “time”. The only other sign she could have given me would have been to die at home here peacefully. But things aren’t always supposed to be easy for us.

I knew that much as I do not want to be alone, I had to let her go. So we made the lonely trek to the emergency Vet to have her euthanized.

How do you survive the loss of your best friend? I don’t know but I know I will survive, albeit not very happily. Time heals all wounds they say and although I have been through this before, it’s no easier. I take that back, I guess this one was a tiny bit easier because her condition was chronic and she had been deteriorating. But being easy to make a decision is not the same as feeling any less pain.

There has to be something sublime or beneficial from this but Lord knows I can’t think of anything right now. Maybe later….

But that’s all for now. Time for tears.

Terrie

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Do You Have A Daily “To Be” List?

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check_off_with_pencil_800_7226Almost everyone I know has a “to do” list and they update it at least once a day if not more. It’s full of things that have to get accomplished, places to go, items to pick up, people you want to eat with etc.

Busy, busy, busy.  “Life is so complicated” – that seems to be this generation’s mantra. But is it really as complicated as we make it? Does it have to be?  I, personally, do NOT think it has to be so complicated. But am I an expert at uncomplicating it? Unfortunately no.

However, I do know that one way we can make it more meaningful is to work just as hard on a daily “To Be” list as we do on our daily “To Do” list.

The recent shooting at the Navy Yard has had a significant impact on me because it’s so recent and perhaps, because that is where I spent the last 9 years of my Navy career. The other mass shootings and tragedies we’ve had have been important too but I think I was in this particular place right now for many other reasons. Different events impact us in different ways based on how our lives are going in general.

What I started to think about and realize after this latest mess was that those people who were shot got up, ate breakfast, maybe worked out, got ready for work and traveled there – some maybe dreading the drudgery of the day, to besome maybe dreading the day because of boredom and wanting to be retired or someplace else, some just wanting to get thru the day to get it over with, some just too exhausted to think about anything, some not even thinking about work but too sad and depressed to care, some happy about life and looking forward to the evening or the weekend, etc etc.

But their lives were suddenly cut short.

What would you think about your life up to this point if it ended unexpectedly today? You may not have achieved all your goals but would that change what would be your epitaph?

Why not start making a daily “To Be” list.

Include things like:

  • “I am happy today”
  • “I am pleasant to everyone today”
  • “I make at least one (or two or three – you pick) people smile today”
  • “I help another person in some way today”
  • “I want to be there for someone who needs me today – or for someone who needs support”

Put down what it is you want to be – how you want to be remembered.

This list might also include ways you want to feel that day – happy instead of sad, in the moment instead of just waiting til closing time, etc.

This may seem a bit difficult initially but if you make it a practice everyday it will become as automatic as your “To Do” list.

Try it this week – but don’t just make the list, “BE” what you wrote!

Let us know what happens. Does it change your feelings about your day? What else?

Terrie