Category Archives: Beliefs

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What Do You Do?

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Two runners So here’s a hypothetical question but also pretty relative to most of our daily activities if we think about it.  What  do you do when someone “passes” you? You can translate that into anything that means you interpret someone as doing something better than you if it will be easier for you to think about.

It’s happened to me many times and I would feel different things depending on the situation but last week it happened and I actually thought about what was happening. I was on a night time run so it was dark and I had no idea that this guy was going to pass me (usually there aren’t that many folks out when I run). I was plodding along as I always do (many people would not even consider what I do as running). All of a sudden this tall guy passed me (going in the same direction as I was) and he seemed to be running fast (of course, my 15 year old arthritic dog would seem to run faster than me too).  As he kept moving up over the hill and disappeared from view I started to feel really “down” and depressed. Why? Because he was faster than me and it made me think about how “bad” I was. I felt incompetent, embarrassed, and stupid being out there with the “big guys” – who did I think I was trying to compete with them. I didn’t deserve to be on the same road with these talented and ‘important’ people (I don’t even know who he was but I assumed that since he passed me he was important).

But then I stopped my thoughts – not soon enough but at least I did stop them. I asked myself “what the heck just happened here? I was feeling great and happy just a few seconds ago and all of a sudden I feel like cr*p JUST BECAUSE someone passed me. What’s up with that? How can I let my mood, and possibly my actions, be so influenced by someone you don’t even know and in just a few seconds?”

Think about that. The only difference in those few seconds was that a man I didn’t even know ran past me. So what? What does that really mean? I already know I’m slow – that’s a given – the whole world knows that. So why did observing something that someone else iStock_000016008010XSmalldid change my thoughts and feelings? I know that in 1993 I started running at night because I was embarrassed and full of shame because I was heavy and slow and had no endurance. And I’m still slow and don’t have the endurance I should but gees, I did do two 100 mile events in 6 weeks this spring. Why didn’t I just hold onto that thought and be joyful in that? Or why didn’t I just keep thinking whatever it was I was thinking before he passed me? What caused me to change my thoughts, feelings and almost my actions. I was at the “you should just quit Terrie, there’s no way you can do this race in NYC” point. I should know where I am preparation wise without having someone run faster than me.

This one miniscule event and it’s subsequent reactions demonstrates how deep some of our insecurities are. And worse yet, the reliving of these thoughts and feelings can derail our current progress. Instead of being down, depressed and ashamed, I should have just been happy I was out there running and that I have the opportunity to go to New York and will do the best I can. I had the choice to feel good, bad, or no change at all. Why do we make choices to feel bad? Is it because it’s a habit? Do we think we should be humble and this is the way we feel humble? Do we not know how to feel good for very long and it’s uncomfortable? If you look at NLP and the concepts within its teaching, I should use some other event as an anchor and I can use the control panel in my mind to minimize the impact of this guy’s passing me. Remember it’s all about vibrations. I want my vibrations to be as high as possible and that’s how I’m going to make my choices. I want to feel good and I deserve to feel good AND I have the ability to change how I feel.

Think of people “passing” you and how you think  or feel. What do you do in response? When someone passes you on the highway or street, what do you think? What do you do?

When someone passes you in production at work, what do you do or think? or more importantly, what do you feel?

Take some time to think about this. Share it with us in the comment box.

Terrie

 

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Are You Giving Power To An External Object?

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Sun in control This follows on the post I wrote on Sunday about what mattered most. If you remember, I was disappointed that the store didn’t have the chicken when I went in to get lunch.

What was I doing – other than making myself miserable for no good reason at all?

I was giving power to something outside myself – the chicken, the store, my lunch – all stuff that is out of my control. And which doesn’t really matter anyway in the grand scheme of things. But I was allowing these external objects or forces to control what I was thinking and feeling.

Why? Well, probably because it’s a habit.  I wanted my chicken and expected the store to have the chicken ready when I wanted it.  By itself there is nothing wrong with wanting that. What is wrong is when my happiness is tied to the fulfillment of that expectation – I’ll be happy if the store has the chicken ready and I won’t be happy if the store doesn’t have it ready or they are out of it at the time I go in. I hope you realize I’m baring my soul to you guys because this is really really really stupid. But I do it all the time. I give away the power to be happy – to a store and worse yet to a piece of chicken. You have to admit, it’s pretty funny as well as being stupid. So I hope you’ve gotten some laugh from it.

However, now that you’re done laughing, ask yourself if there is (or are) anything in your life that you are giving power to.

For example, do you think that if you sleep wrong, you’ll get a crick in your neck? Or if you’re under the cold air for a certain amount of time, you’ll “catch” a cold? Or that it’s something in your diet that’s affecting you?

All of these things are external to you. You are giving power to them. It is NOT a universal law or rule that you’ll “catch” a cold if you sit under the air conditioner. If it were a universal rule, EVERYONE would get sick, not just you or select others.  external powerWhen you are “sensitive to” or “allergic to” some food item, you have already given power to that food item and your body has developed its own set of rules regarding that food. Again, however, if that food caused sensitivities, then EVERYONE would have problems with the food.  I realize that is a concept that will go against many people’s beliefs. But remember that a belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over. So, I’m just asking that you look at what you depend on to make yourself happy.

Do you find yourself in a bad mood when your spouse or other relative or friend have a bad day or you’ve had an argument with them? I’m not saying that you should try to show them up and tell them how happy you are despite their terrible loss or bad day or whatever. But, let’s say you don’t get what you’ve hinted at for Valentine’s Day. Should this ruin your day? Should this make you feel as if you did something wrong or that you’re not worth anything? You were happy before you found out what you got for Valentine’s Day. Why would the presence or absence of a specific gift change your happiness? Remember the chicken?

Your feelings should not be dependent on other people either. For you to be happy, you do not need to have others around you be happy. You can feel successful and abundant no matter the state and thoughts of anyone else. Do NOT let someone or something else take your power away. You have control of yourself. Do not give that control and power away. When you start to react to something or someone, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself if your reaction/response is putting the power in something external? If so, pull back and ask why you are doing that and then ask whether you want to give up that control. I bet your answer will be no.

It’s just a matter of awareness. Pay attention – you don’t want to be sick so why let a undetectable virus cause you harm. You do NOT have to give your power over to that tiny external object unless you want to. Is that what you want? Is that what you’ve done all your life? Is this where some of your limiting beliefs are centered? Be aware of your limiting beliefs and then see how many of them are related to external forces. Once you’re aware, you can change. Don’t let the 11 o’clock news impact your sleep so that you aren’t rested and that your “worry centers” are activated. Either don’t watch the news or make sure that you deny that any of it is your truth or state that it no longer has to be your truth. Being aware of what is affecting you and what has affected you in the past will change your life more than you can imagine.

Terrie

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What Matters Most?

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iStock_000014201661Small I was in Whole Foods yesterday looking to get my lunch – I’m a creature of habit so my lunch is always a salad and chicken.  I go to the salad bar first and then to another section to get the hot chicken. Easy, right? How much more simple can it get?

But lately there must have been a change in the management or something because the selections have changed (not to my liking, of course) and frequently they don’t have chicken.

Well, yesterday was a double whammy – there was no spinach so I put the other components in the box, knowing I had plenty of spinach at home and could use that. Things were not so bad at that point. I headed off to the “smoked” bar (no, not that kind of bar) and on the way I wanted to get some more protein powder but they didn’t have the size that I wanted so I didn’t get that. By the time I got to where the chicken should have been I was already bummed out. Then I found out I was too early for the chicken (if they even had it that day) because only one item was out on the display. So, my whole day was ruined – wasn’t it?

It could have been “ruined” if I’d let it. And I was starting to let it get to me. But then I went to get my weekly supply of Salmon jerky and one of the guys who is so pleasant waited on me and we talked a bit so my disappointment was a bit further back in my mind.  Then I headed to the checkout line.

It was a bit busy so I scanned the checkers (I have my favorites – going to Whole Foods is like a ritual for me – stop laughing). I didn’t see anyone I knew so I decided on the lane closest to the door. But as I was walking toward it, I heard “Terrie, I’m open”. I looked up and it was one of my favorite people (she’s a runner too). We had a great conversation, as usual, and laughed a lot. It was fun and uplifting. Contact with these folks is great. Some of them have even become friends.

I left Whole Foods feeling great!

Much different than I was feeling just a few minutes prior. Why?

What matters most? Whether or not a certain object or food was in stock and available OR interaction with a human being – where you might learn something about someone or you might even cheer them up and make them happy? Which lasts longer? The object? The feeling you get from being with others? Of course it’s the feeling and emotions you have when you interact with others. The food is just that, food. It will be ingested and be gone. Same if it were an object.

So next time you’re feeling disappointed by something, examine what it is that’s disappointed you and go find someone to interact with (email, phone, text, talk – just be with a living being) and be grateful for their being in your life and bringing you love, joy, satisfaction. See how long the feelings last and how you feel all day long. I bet it will be alot longer than if they had the “object” you were initially disappointed in.

Always ask “What matters most?”

Terrie

 

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Stories, Stories and More Stories

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newspaper navy yard shooting The tragic Navy Yard shooting yesterday brought a few items up for me (that’s where I worked for 9 years before I retired):

  1. I think that people seem to have become immune (or maybe numb/anesthetized) to events like this and that bothers me.
    • It first struck me last week when the news sites had very very little coverage of 9/11. People where I work (on an Army base even) didn’t even bother to observe the moment of silence – not one single moment. That disgusted me.
    • Yesterday as I was driving home there was a talk show (another thing I normally pay no attention to fortunately) and the guy’s primary concern was whether the news folks in Texas should be talking more about the shooting or the fact that we finally got rain. That is really pathetic. He was not even concerned about all the flooding in Colorado. I know we are in the midst of a big drought here but come on – what are the important things in life?
    • Almost none of my Facebook friends even acknowledged the shooting. That made me wonder about my friends. It was all about running and internet business and food and whatever else they normally posted about. Nothing different. Funny that the runners were “all over” the Boston Marathon Bombing but this event seemed “unimportant” to everyone.
  2. I remembered why I don’t watch the news last night. It’s NOT news. It’s a bunch of opinions and slurs and stirring everyone up to be afraid.  Even the one good news story (the raising of the Concordia ship) was minimally covered sitting_on_news_text_reading_paper_400_clr_9470and they emphasized the cost and problems – not the fact that this is the first time this has been done and how it will help lead the way for other salvage operations. The news is supposed to report the facts. I suppose that if they did that, there would be no material for all the time they have to fill. Imagine if they had to fill a full 24 hours every single day with just facts! What a challenge that would be for them. Because I was stationed at the Navy Yard I am somewhat qualified to render an opinion about some of what they reported as “facts”.  These were not facts, they were misinterpretations, they were statements by people who were willing to go on the radio to say stupid, inciteful things just to get some acknowledgement. I remembered why I don’t watch the news.
  3. People all have their stories and they carry them around like a gunny sack of rocks.

If you just concentrated on the facts that occurred yesterday you would be able to make an informed opinion on what happened – if an opinion was/is even required. What are the facts? This man was formerly in the Navy; he worked as a subcontractor and had access to the Navy Yard as a subcontractor; He gained entry to this particular building carrying at least 1 weapon if not more; he opened fire and killed 12 people and wounded several others; he died during this event.

There are more facts but other than for the law enforcement investigators, what difference do they make to you or me? Ok, maybe we “need” to know if it was an act of terrorism and if so, are there others out there that could be planning other events. I’m not sure I “need” to know that as opposed to needing to know if they found out positively that there was other potential danger. Do I need to know about his background and about him working at a restaurant etc? Heck no. What import does that have for me? Not a bit. So why should I clutter up my mind and my thoughts and feelings with all the emotional reporting that is going on about this. These folks are not expressing sorrow and desire to help the families and other victims (those that were frightened at being shot at etc). They are trying to stir people up and get them going – this time it’s once more about gun control. It’s to perpetuate fear. I think people are good enough at creating and living their fears without the help of the media magnifying those fears. I also heard these same news people reporting that if the government shut down in October then in a couple of weeks the US wouldn’t be able to pay it’s bills and would be “broken”.  They snuck that in but you know that’s another fear generating story they are implanting in us.

story wiht baggageWhat stories are you carrying around? I talked about this last week or the week before.  Can you change your past (and even present) stories into “feel good” (or maybe even neutral) stories instead of the bad news stories we make them. Bad things happen but what we feel about them is what counts.  We can replay an event, see it as just a series of facts (without applying/feeling the emotions) and have it be a part of our past – without negative influence. What types of good things can you pull out of that experience once you extract the negative emotions? What have you learned? How has your life changed and how can you change it even more in a positive way.

I’m not discounting how we are affected by events and situations but it’s how we respond and later relive that has to be changed. If you don’t work at changing your feelings about those things, you will continue to be miserable and you will continue to attract more of the same.  We are not taught to “spin” our stories in a positive direction. We are just taught to tell them. Often we go into great detail so that we can tell an “interesting story”.  Consider not even telling your story. Allow it to dissipate in power. Or see if you can write it out or talk it out putting the positive spin on it. Start small and work your way up. It’s a new habit but one that will change your life!

All those that think I went on a rant are free to comment. You are right, it is a rant but there’s also an important metaphysical lesson here if you want to attract more good things in your life.

Terrie

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Friday The 13th – What’s In Your Belief System?

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custom_calendar_11443 It’s not even Halloween and we have a “Friday the 13th”! But fortunately it’s not also a full moon. I will tell you that the full moon does bring the “weird” out – after all those years in an Emergency Room, you can always tell when it’s a full moon by the activity in the ER. I”m sure most of you have experienced the same thing. But what about Friday the 13th (no matter what month it happens in)? What’s up with that? Interestingly, the superstition around it is found primarily since 1900. That’s not very old. But there are estimates according to Wikipedia (take that for what it’s worth) that between 17-21 MILLION people are affected by a fear of this day, making it the most feared day there fri 13th1is.

Are you affected by this and other superstitions? If so, why? When did you first become aware of any type of “issue” with Friday the 13th (or seeing black cats or walking under ladders or any other superstition we embrace)? The origin for you will be different than the origin of the person sitting next to you. Often it’s built on a story and we all know that children (and many adults) revel in stories. Often, older siblings like to torture the younger with horror stories. If told enough times and by the “right” people, then this story will become embedded in your subconscious and will become a belief. Remember  that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over (Abraham-Hicks). Wouldn’t it be sad if you found out that this superstition you’ve had all these years, whether it’s about Friday the 13th or some other one, was instilled in you simply because someone kept telling you the same story over and over again?

The point is NOT to make you feel badly because you have some superstition but it’s to make you examine your beliefs closely and not be afraid to ask “where the heck did I get that idea from?” And then go deep within to see if it came from your parents, your siblings, looking_in_dug_hole_400_clr_6593 teachers, religious leaders, friends etc. You have to be willing to examine these things. But let’s say you do look closely but you can’t figure out where an idea/belief came from. Then what? Does that make it true? Not necessarily. It may mean that you just can’t remember who or what was responsible for you thinking that way. Sometimes it’s too painful to come up with the results. You then have to look at the belief and say to yourself “Do I want to continue believing that? Is that in my value system?” If so, great, just move on. If not, then we can start working on clearing the old believe and replacing it with the new belief. We have and will continue to talk more about how to do that in other posts.

But for now, try to look at today, Friday the 13th, as a great day and a day when nothing but GOOD LUCK prevails in your life. Declare everything good that happens no matter what it is! Try it and see what happens.

Terrie