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Dr. Terrie Wurzbacher

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Just When I Think I’ve Learned The Way to Live

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figured out “Just when I think I’ve learned the way to live, life changes.” ~Hugh Prather

How true this is. I guess the Universe doesn’t want to see us get comfortable for long. Or, perhaps we don’t want to be comfortable….that, would have to be an unconscious desire in most cases, though, since I don’t think many people really want things to continually change.  Maybe that depends on how happy you are with your current circumstances.

When you think you have everything figured out and know what you’re supposed to do, something pops up in your life and you realize you have to do something different.

Since we know this is what’s going to happen, it behooves us to just accept the fact and be wary of it. If you know that things in your life are going to change, then you can do two things – one is to accept it and not be devastated when the changes occur and two is that you can help guide the Law of Attraction to bring positive changes. Don’t be sitting there worried about what “bad” things are going to happen. Instead, talk to yourself and envision great changes – write the script for your life as you want it to happen. In essence, you’ll be writing out the “life changes” you want to occur.

Make the movie of your life. Know that stagnation is not necessarily a good thing for you but adding variety (change) into your life is healthy and will help you live a more fulfilled life.

Many of the posts for the rest of this calendar year are going to continue to focus on change AND what you can do to prepare yourself for the good you want in your life next year. I really want you all to be prepared to script your life and then live it. Sometimes I think what happens is that we get in a little rowboat or kayak and float down the river with no oars. We bounce around from one side of the river to the other, hitting whatever rocks pop up in our way. Without oars there is no way to guide the boat so you’re subject to the current and the obstacles in the river. Why would you want to live your life like that? You wouldn’t. But if you aren’t aware and don’t prepare, then that’s what will happen. Think about it – has this happened to you or anyone you know? The moral of that story is to always bring your oars with you. With them you can maneuver away from the obstacles and head in the direction you want – you are not at the mercy of the river.

Change is good! If you embrace that and feel it, any change that happens really will be good.

Keep your eyes and your mind open. Embrace everything that happens in your life and know that there is a message in the change. It’s your job to figure out what it is you’re supposed to learn.

Terrie

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Did I Make A Mistake?

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highway_no_passing_vehicle_left_lane_400_clr_7398Lately I have repeatedly asked myself “did I make a mistake?”

Have I changed the course of my life? To what good?

No matter what good came out of the run across Tennessee, I’m not really sure it was worth it if I can’t ever run again. It’s been almost 4 months since the event and I am just starting to walk again but still with a fair amount of pain in all areas of my feet.

But trying not to be a hypocrite, I try to practice what I “preach” here and not just write Pollyanna type stuff.  So, before I decided to write this post I thought a great deal about it.

You can ask yourself if you made a mistake, but, the truth is, what are you going to do about it now? You can lament the decision(s) you made. You can be upset and regret the outcomes. You can wish you had done things differently. You can be angry, depressed, resentful or anything you want to be.  However, none of those questions  or emotions can change the way things are right now, can they?

Why would you want to sit around and mope about it? Perhaps because you are grieving a loss. I know I am. And that’s OK, too. But, it’s so very easy to get wrapped up on that grieving process and to go deeper and deeper into the quicksand. At some point, you just sink and don’t want to come  back up for air. What good does that do? None whatsoever.

It becomes your job to ask for help from your friends if you can’t do it on your own or sometimes it might even require professional help.

The whole point, though, is to realize that you can’t do diddly squat about what has happened. You made a decision at the time and now you have to live the life you have right now. Move forward. Remind yourself why you did what you did, be happy that you did it and open your mind to figure out what it is you’re supposed to have learned from that event.

Even though in our human mindset it’s likely we want to complain about the decision and call it a mistake, if we look at it as a gift and a new door opening, I think we’ll be amazed at what will pour through that door. You can make this a good thing or continue to wallow in self-pity. But you’re not going to change what happened. You are only going to change what happens in the NOW. That is completely dependent on how you look at “it” and the “results”. I am always reminded of the Prisoners of War who survived by living in their minds. They visualized beautiful things, being with family and whatever other positive things they could fill up their minds and imagination with. That is what you have to do. Come up with a new plan of action.

This is easier, of course, if you have many different activities and can now choose from something else. But if you’ve put your eggs in one basket all this time, it’s going to be harder. It can be done, though.

Each day make yourself write down 3-5 things you are grateful for – that have happened as a result of your “mistake”. They may be small things or maybe big ones, but reach deep to find at least 3. You can also use things that you want to happen in the future as part of your gratitude list.

This is your only homework. However, you have to make a commitment to say you’re going to look at this event, this “mistake” in a positive way and as an open door for you. If you don’t make that commitment, you’ll be much more likely to sink into the quagmire and forget about your gratitude list.

Promise me you’ll do the list – at least 3 things each day that have happened or will happen as a result of your “mistake”. Do it every day for at least 2 weeks, then revisit the situation. Embrace what happened to you and see it as a message even if you’re still seeking a translation for it.

Terrie

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Momentum Monday

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momentum-monday1“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”  Steve Jobs
Take this quote to heart. It’s fitting that I ran across this not too long after the movie about Steve Jobs was released. I haven’t yet seen the movie but I admire the man. And, perhaps this quote explains why. I do know that it’s changed the way I do things. I am not sure how long “too many days in a row” is but I now ask myself that every single day. And then I vow to do something about it in the next 24 hours. Somehow I do something different and something that is in alignment with what I want my life to represent. It may just be doing a random act of kindness (or an intentional act of kindness). That’s pretty simple isn’t it?

Try this every morning for at least a week and see how your life changes.

Terrie

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Reality is Perception

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glass_half_full_empty_400_clr_5473 Most of you are used to reading this as “Perception is reality”. I think, in simple terms, they both say the same thing. As Wayne Dyer says “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

I made the “mistake’ of looking this phrase up and was immediately inundated with theories of reality and blah blah blah…I fell asleep reading the scientific and philosophical mumbo jumbo.

It’s really pretty easy for me. What you see and hear really depends on a multitude of factors:

Your heritage and upbringing (people with different backgrounds have different meanings for certain words and phrases)

Your mood (when you’re in a good mood you look at something completely differently from when you’re in a bad mood)

Your beliefs (if you feel that something is against what you believe, you may be offended even if it’s not meant offensively)

Your experience with the “event” (if you’ve had a good experience with something, you’ll believe it’s a good thing…read some product and book reviews and you’ll see what makes someone give an item a poor review – it may just be poor customer service even though the product was ok).

Your education (you may not understand what the event/product/statement is supposed to mean because your education level has either differed from others or it’s related to your upbringing as we discussed above)

There are many other things that can influence how you look at something.

The only way to stop letting these factors interfere with your enjoyment or happiness is to have an open mind and go into every situation saying to yourself that you’ll look at this completely differently than you used to. That is changing your thoughts. And it is the most valuable activity you can do.

If you’re quick to judgement (I would never know anything about that – ha ha), stop yourself after you’ve made that first judgement and re-evaluate. Take a deep breath and write the “thing” on a piece of paper.

Underneath the “thing” write down the possible ways you can look at it. Just write in a free-flow manner.

Once you’ve exhausted your ideas, go back and read over the list.

What do you see? Do you see varying ideas and interpretations? What would make one better than the other? Or, more real than another?

Can you figure out how you want to change your thoughts about this particular situation?

If so, you’ve taken the first step to changing your life to make it the way you want it to be! That is empowerment. That is freedom.

Enjoy the process – that is probably the most important thing of all.

Terrie

 

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Are You a Slow Learner? What’s LIfe Trying To Tell You?

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slow learner Generally when things keep “going wrong” there is a message that you’re supposed to be getting. What usually happens, though, is that we don’t pay attention. We don’t slow down enough to actually “hear” what that message is.

So, then we go along and repeat the exact same action – as they say – we just “rinse and repeat”. Guess what? The Universe will deliver whatever it is we’re paying attention to and focusing on. More of the same comes our way.

Instead of just walking along blindly, falling into the same hole over and over again, slow down or even stop and take a look at what life is trying to tell you. What are you supposed to be hearing? Could it be that you should be more patient? How about less judgmental and more accepting? Maybe you need to learn how to say “no”. Maybe you have to develop outside interests. Maybe you need to pay more attention to your health. Any of these and more are possibilities.

Eventually the Universe will get your attention. But you really don’t want it to get this far, do you? Why experience so much more misery? If you could slow down, listen and make on the spot corrections, then your life could be so much more simple and happy. It’s “ok” to have one bad experience but why go through it so many times?

When you do stop and take some inventory, you will most likely uncover many of your limiting beliefs. Frequently people who experience abuse repeatedly are either a product of abusive childhoods or believe that they deserve to be punished – for just about anything and everything. This is a significant limiting belief and unless you uncover it and work to get rid of it, you really will just repeat history.

  • Figure out what’s happened to make you unhappy at this particular moment.
  • Swallow your pride and listen to what others have to tell you about the cause – even if you have to hear that you’re not the greatest at something or that you have a fault that warrants correction. Although it’s not easy to hear that now, it’s much better than to experience the same tragedy over and over again.
  • Evaluate what others have told you. Put it up against what you think might be going wrong. Was it you? Was it someone or something else? But always remember that we attract EVERYTHING into our lives and it’s our job to figure out what that was and why we keep attracting it. That’s where a large majority of your time should be spent.
  • When you’ve made that evaluation list, examine it and see if you can uncover some of your limiting beliefs? What are they? Go as deep as you can. Do you feel unworthy of love or money? If so, why?
  • Once you’ve discovered these limiting beliefs see if you can identify other events in your life that were based on the same limitations.
  • Write down the limiting beliefs (or other reasons you think this has happened).
  • What are you going to do about it? What actions are you going to take? Maybe you admit that you have to take responsibility for what’s happened and you make an attempt to change the actions or thoughts that have caused the problem.
  • Start a book of positive aspects if it involves other people. Remember to write at least 3 things a day about the other person. I think you can also try this for a situation too even though it was developed for problems with people.
  • The important thing is to journal (even if it’s just jotting short notes) of what happens, what you think, how you’re changing (or not), what you want to keep doing, and what the results are. Write it all down so you can learn from it later.

Try this and stop being a slow learner. Move up the ladder in life by making the changes.

Terrie