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Dr. Terrie Wurzbacher

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Are You Afraid of Growing Old?

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afraid of growing old 2If you said “no” when you read the subject line of this post, you should ask yourself if you were being honest. The majority of people are actually afraid of getting old. And as usual, the media does absolutely nothing to change that. They make it worse. Think of the ads you see of people falling and needing to push a button to get help or the ads about medicare supplement programs (this hit me this past year – it seemed like every 5 minutes they were talking about what you don’t get with Medicare – which is actually true but I didn’t need to have it crammed down my throat every minute of every waking day).

There are so many other media discussions of age and mostly in pictures so that even if you turned the sound down, you would still have the visuals there bothering you and being embedded in your subconscious. Then there are the “news” reports of age discrimination, special organizations for “old” people, special diseases “old” people get, etc.

The best way to avoid that is to stop watching TV – which we recommend for many other reasons too. However, you will still be exposed to these themes. So what do you do?

First you can use my favorite two sayings:

1) That is not my truth.

2) Nothing and no one can interfere with my prosperity, well-being and peace of mind, not even myself.

Every time you start to think about getting old and the “bad” things that seem to go along with it, use one of these phrases, if for no other reason than to get your mind off that thought. Say one of the phrases (or even both) over and over again until you’ve become calm and relaxed and can think about something else.

Remember that we create our own realities and if we see ourselves as characters in those ads, then that is what we will become.

Try writing down your beliefs about getting old. List them on a piece of paper or in your success (or even gratitude) journal. Then decide which of those beliefs you want to change. Then try EFT (emotional freedom technique) or some other clearing method (denials are also simple to use) to clear the old beliefs. Bottom line is you want to change your momentum and start thinking about the great things that come with age. Use the 68 second process about the cool things that go along with moving along in years – retirement, vacations, traveling etc.

Stop thinking about your age and that of others. Don’t even make jokes about “at my age” (I find myself doing that and know I want to stop it – I don’t want to be training my brain that way).

See if you can figure out what expectations you’ve had installed in your subconscious about getting older – you can’t do this, you can’t do that, you’ll be lonely, you’ll forget things, you’ll have age discrimination issues, etc. What have you been brought up to believe about getting older? Then refute them. Do you want to continue to believe those things? Heck no.

Start thinking about how great you are, how good your memory is and how well you do things. Think about how people look up to you and come to you for information and advice. Think about those that love you and depend on you.  Get yourself some good momentum going about your youthful feeling and thoughts.

You are as young as you feel AND think! It’s all about vibrations remember.

Terrie

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What’s Your Personal Creed?

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personal-creed

This was in the Weekend Wrap-Up but not everyone reads that so I thought I’d post it here.

I’ve had kind of a nostalgic week. Friday my boss retired. He was an excellent boss and as so often happens in the military, he wasn’t there as long as we would have liked. But I learned so much from him even at my age! He was an exceptional leader and I respect him greatly.
As many of you know, I was in the Navy for 30 years and witnessed many retirement ceremonies but this was the first Army retirement I’d seen. And I have to say it was much more moving than any other I’d seen.

This is not pertinent to the subject but the part that moved me the most was when the young Soldiers presented the flag. They ceremoniously unfolded it to show it in his full view, then refolded it perfectly for presentation. While the Soldiers were performing this, the MC read “Old Glory”. I encourage you to read this poem if you’re an American…and I also recommend you have tissues around.

 

My boss told us his philosophy, his creed, the first day he reported and that is what has stuck even amongst all his other great leadership traits. This is his creed and what he embodies:

  • Treat others with respect
  • Treat yourself with respect
  • Take responsibility

Seems pretty simple doesn’t it? But look at each of the components and see how your life stacks up against them.

Even though I had heard them two years ago, this was a terrific reminder for me – not only to see how well I was doing living up to them but also to think about what my own personal creed is. What do I live by? What do I believe? Do I jump from  3rsone behavior to another or do I stick to the straight and narrow (as I have defined it – we each define our creed in the way that fits our lives).

Does my boss’s philosophy work for you? It sure should because it encompasses everything we need to take care of others in this world. If you’re in a service profession, you know that that’s what life is all about. And you know what? Almost every single profession is a service profession since in order to have any income, you have to provide a service..even if that service is to deliver a product.

Take stock of your life. What would your retirement ceremony be like? Who would speak at it? What would that person say about you? What types of remembrances would you want at the ceremony (they showed a video with photos of my boss all throughout various stages of his career. Interspersed were videos from people whom he had influenced in his life and who were far away. Each one said thank you and told him how much he had taught them – it was extremely touching).

You’ve heard people recommend you write your own obituary. Well, although I think that’s a good idea too,designing your retirement ceremony is a great way to reflect upon your life and then you can also see if there’s anything about your life you’d like to change in the next phase of your life (even if it’s an arbitrary line you draw). In the imaginative world, you can retire at any time you want and begin another “profession/job”- meaning starting a new phase of your life.

Think about it and figure out who you’d invite, when you want to have the ceremony, and what will be said – not only by you but by the guest speakers you invite.

Write it out and keep it. Refine it as you go along.

Try it and see what happens. What do you have to lose?

Terrie

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Momentum Monday

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momentum-monday1This woman made my day AND changed my perspective on life!

And it was a Monday too.  What an enlightening experience. I wrote about this in the Weekend Wrap-Up last week or the week before but wanted to get it down here since I felt it was such an important experience – especially when we’re talking about momentum and vibrations. This woman is a perfect example of living in the NOW and knowing that feeling good is what brings joy in life despite the circumstances.

It was early Monday a.m. and I had to drop something off at a lab and have some blood drawn.

The technician had taken care of me twice before and I had previously been impressed with her friendly yet professional demeanor so I was happy to see her behind the desk.

As  she was checking me in she told me that when she had gotten into her car that morning she saw that her car had been broken into and her radio had been stolen. And it was pretty obvious the people who stole it weren’t professionals because they cut a big box section out of the dashboard.

Take a minute and envision this for yourself and see yourself in her place. How would you react? What would you do, think, feel or say? If you’re anything like me, it won’t be the same type of reaction that she had.

She told me that she was happy she still had made it to work on time and that it was funny because she had told the car folks when she bought the car to put in a “low end” radio and now she was really glad she had said that because she wasn’t out as much money.

She also said that she was happy they had only stolen the radio and not the car because she couldn’t afford a new car now.

Then she said her three boys would have fun repairing the dash and putting in another radio.

All the while she was telling me this she was animated and positive, not trying to elicit sympathy at all. Just relaying the story and how she was happy about her reaction and the irony of it all. custom_text_shelter_14054

“Wow” was about all I could say and think. I was totally amazed at her attitude. Here was a woman who didn’t make a lot of money, had three kids and yet was so upbeat I couldn’t believe it despite the costly event that had occurred in her life. Her vibrations were way, way up there and would continue to positively affect anyone she came in contact with that day.

I know it sure made a difference in my day and the way I looked at everything and felt about things that day. She was telling her story in a way that would benefit so many other people because her vibrations couldn’t help but be up there too.

Can you do that with something that has happened in your life? Try it. Smile and look for the good in every event. As Catherine Ponder used to proclaim (no matter what) – “I declare it good”!

Life is good no matter what’s going on around us. Let’s try to remember something that’s happened to us that felt great and focus on that whenever external things seem to be trying to take hold of our feelings. Focusing on that good thing will prevent that external thing from overcoming us and lowering our vibrations. Remember the two phrases I keep repeating:

  • I declare it good!
  • Nothing and nobody can interfere with my prosperity, well-being, and peace of mind – not even myself!

Enjoy your week. I know I will.

Terrie

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Spring Cleaning – Clutters Last Stand

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iStock_000016269188SmallDepending on what part of the country you’re in you might already have done your spring cleaning – at least on the surface. Then again, given this year’s winter, you may NOT have gotten to it yet.

Regardless, it’s like making a new beginning. We can always do spring cleaning – no matter the time of year.  Just calling it spring cleaning makes you feel young again too.

So, why am I talking about cleaning here? Because there are at least two types of cleaning – external and internal.

External is as important sometimes as internal. You have to have a clean external environment in order to allow your energy to flow freely. Sometimes, though, this is a formidable task. What then? If that’s the case, then start small. Dedicate (and commit to) 5 minutes a day to unclutter some area of your home or office. You can certainly do 5 minutes without getting overwhelmed…and it’s hard to say that you just don’t have even 5 minutes to spare. Look at it as if it’s an appointment because it needs to be something you’re set on achieving. I think you’ll be surprised to see that once you get into it, you’ll go even longer than 5 minutes – maybe only 10 or you may stick to the 5 minutes but if you stick to that, you will have accomplished a goal! How cool is that?

Pick out the area that bothers you the most and go to work on that. Set a goal for that area – be able to walk through without tripping, be able to find your notes easily, open your bills and file them so that doing your taxes will be easier etc. You know what it is you want to be able to do.  Put it down on a piece of paper or better yet, on your calendar every day or every other day. Then it’s become an appointment. Once you have your external environment clean and empty (or even organized), you will have allowed the Universe to make readily available the things you have asked for in Step 1 (Ask and it is given).

But what about the internal cleaning we have to do. There are so many emotions we just store up and never do anything useful with. In fact, they are like the physical clutter in our environment and they prevent the movement of the good emotions figure_clean_carpet_400_clr_3782 and thoughts we wish to have in our lives. If you are filled with anger and resentment, how can you experience the joy and happiness you wish for? You can’t because there is no room for those emotions to float around and bathe your soul.

How do you do the spring cleaning of your mind?

1. Make a list – free flow – of the emotions that are rummaging around in your mind right now. Just let it roll. Are you experiencing fear? Are you worried about a bunch of things? Are you angry at your friends or coworkers for something? Do you have resentment for not getting a better job or a raise or a position you’re after? Are you angry at an ex whom you feel treated you poorly? I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Write down all emotions that come to your mind.

2. Take that list and write next to each feeling the emotion you want to replace it with. If you’re unhappy write happiness or joy. If you’re resentful about something, write what you wish to feel – is it peaceful? Is it contentment? Write down whatever it is you really want to feel.

3. Once you have the list of the emotions you want to experience, try holding thoughts about that emotion for 17 seconds (leading to the 68 second process). Once the 17 seconds has become comfortable move on to either the 68 second process or the “wouldn’t it be nice if” process.

4. Talk out loud for 68 seconds about how you will feel with these emotions being prominent. Something like “I feel so peaceful and relaxed. I am happy and content. I have so many positive emotions inside my emotional bank that I am overflowing with joy……” and just keep going on for 68 seconds.

5. If this is hard to imagine, try the “wouldn’t it be nice if….” where you substitute what you desire after the “wouldn’t it be nice if..” – that makes it a bit easier for the subconscious to believe and respond to.

6. In a few days or a week, try the whole process again. Write down the emotions you are now experiencing.  See what’s changed. Hopefully you’ve done the uncluttering in your physical space as well as in your mind and you’ll see the difference.

Terrie

 

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Watch Your Language – What Are You Saying To Your Kids?

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watch-your-language2Remember how we talk about where beliefs come from? Remember that one of the primary embedders of your beliefs were your parents? Yep, it starts at a very early age. Your parents instill the vast majority of your beliefs.

So what? Well, it’s important for us to realize as adults that a belief is just a thought we think over and over – and if our parents have repeated something many times, it most likely now has been chiseled into our subconscious mind like the 10 commandments in stone. The determination of what beliefs come from where and what to do about our own beliefs are subjects for many other posts.

I am addressing this to parents or teachers who are involved with children. You MUST watch what you say to them and around them. If you are constantly yelling, arguing or condemning and criticizing, think intensely about what that is doing to (or telling) your children. Do you really want to teach them your biases and prejudices? Do you want them to hear you talk about safe driving but then watch you text or talk on your cell phone while you drive them to school or another destination? Do you want them to adopt the phrases you use – “I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired. You’re killing me. You ALWAYS let me down. You NEVER pay attention to what I want. Etc” Do you really want them to learn those “Always and Nevers”?  Do you want them to hear you call people names – even if it’s just at a baseball game and you’re mad at the umpire “You stink, you lousy ump”?

Take some time to think about what it is you really do want them to hear and learn. Think of it this way – what do you want them to be embedding in their subconscious that could be traced back to you. Do you want them to be saddled with a belief that they aren’t good enough because you were having a bad day and they didn’t get a 100 on a test. I remember that vividly – I was asked “why didn’t you get a 100, Terrie”. I couldn’t understand why that was the response instead of joy and happiness at the 98 I had achieved.

Think before you speak. I imagine you give that advice to your kids all the time but do you practice what you preach?

If not, maybe you should start. Remember that the beliefs that your children will grow up embracing will have come from you. This has a tremendous bearing on their lives and ability to achieve success in life. Do your best to help them now.

Terrie