Category Archives: Limiting Beliefs

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Success Is Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

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success is stepping out of comfort zone2Do you ever “wish” for success? Wish that you were doing better? Doing as well as others you know? Wonder what you did or are doing with your life? Feeling stuck?

Often we fear success more than we feel failure. “Not me” you’re probably saying – “I’d love to be successful”. But how would your life change if you were successful? What would you have to do differently? Do you think you’ll have to work more? Perhaps, have to travel and be away from home? Stay up later or work weekends? Feel under pressure all the time to have the correct answer without feeling like a fool?

So many things might change if you are successful (or become more successful). Many people are afraid of change and when you couple that fear of change with the other fears I mentioned above, it’s logical that there will be a certain fear of success.

So what? It’s important to accept this fact and then move on. In order to be successful you will have to step out of your comfort zone. That is scary. Right now, you do things the same day after day and even if you have a very busy life, you’re still doing essentially the same things repeatedly.

Success means you’ll have to change the way you’re doing things – maybe even in every aspect of your life. This could be like a person with a brain injury or illness that, once recovered, may have to learn to do everything all over again. That person has no choice. They have to do things differently. You have a choice. At least you have the choice as to whether you want to start this process. This is why the hardest step is the first one.

It all depends on what you want to do.  And how much you want to do it. As with goal setting, the WHY is the most important.

Remember how much I talk about vibration.  You want to get yourself accustomed to the vibration of a new comfort zone.  Take time to focus on what the upside of your success will be. When you see events and start feeling happy with those custom_corner_street_sign_14248upside  thoughts and feelings, capture them as your “Kodak moment” as I like to call them. Then when you’re feeling scared of moving out, recall that Kodak Moment and you’ll be able to raise your vibration to a different plane than fear. In fact, if you can keep focusing on those moments then you’ll be able to keep your vibration there and not have to be constantly stopping/changing the downward momentum. As you start to experience success, you’ll create more moments to focus on. And if you don’t have moments of success right now to use and can’t create some, concentrate on something you did or experienced in the past that will raise your vibration and keep your momentum going in the direction you want it to go in.

Simply put:

  1. Determine what success looks like to you
  2. Determine the “WHY” you want that success – what is it about this achievement that is driving you. Dig deep until you find the strong WHY
  3. See if you can come up with (and write down) the things that you fear/think will change as a result of the success.
  4. Consider asking the 4 questions from  Byron Katie’s “The Work”
    Step 1 Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
    Step 2 Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
    Step 3 How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    Who would you be without the thought?
  5. Turn the thought around. – Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation.
  6. Find your Kodak moment to seize upon when you’re feeling concerned or worried or even thinking about these new circumstances and feel yourself developing momentum in a direction you’d rather not go in.
  7. Use the Kodak moment(s) you’ve picked whenever you start to work on your achievement or whenever you start to feel antsy.
  8. Use the special phrase along with the Kodak Moment (or in place of) “Nothing and nobody can interfere with my prosperity, my well-being, my peace of mind, not even myself” – just keep saying that over and over again until you’re in a better space and have stopped obsessing about the bad things at least for that time being.
  9. Reassess your comfort zone each week and start the process over because by now you have stepped out of your comfort zone and have a new set of parameters to work with (and worry about unless you apply this practice). This phase is often called rinse and repeat.
  10. Journal all these things. Our minds play tricks on us frequently and you don’t want to lose the wisdom that you’ve gained.
  11. GET A COACH!

Try this process and  slowly step outside of your current comfort zone and create a new one.

Let me know how it goes!

Terrie

 

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Watch Your Language – What Are You Saying To Your Kids?

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watch-your-language2Remember how we talk about where beliefs come from? Remember that one of the primary embedders of your beliefs were your parents? Yep, it starts at a very early age. Your parents instill the vast majority of your beliefs.

So what? Well, it’s important for us to realize as adults that a belief is just a thought we think over and over – and if our parents have repeated something many times, it most likely now has been chiseled into our subconscious mind like the 10 commandments in stone. The determination of what beliefs come from where and what to do about our own beliefs are subjects for many other posts.

I am addressing this to parents or teachers who are involved with children. You MUST watch what you say to them and around them. If you are constantly yelling, arguing or condemning and criticizing, think intensely about what that is doing to (or telling) your children. Do you really want to teach them your biases and prejudices? Do you want them to hear you talk about safe driving but then watch you text or talk on your cell phone while you drive them to school or another destination? Do you want them to adopt the phrases you use – “I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired. You’re killing me. You ALWAYS let me down. You NEVER pay attention to what I want. Etc” Do you really want them to learn those “Always and Nevers”?  Do you want them to hear you call people names – even if it’s just at a baseball game and you’re mad at the umpire “You stink, you lousy ump”?

Take some time to think about what it is you really do want them to hear and learn. Think of it this way – what do you want them to be embedding in their subconscious that could be traced back to you. Do you want them to be saddled with a belief that they aren’t good enough because you were having a bad day and they didn’t get a 100 on a test. I remember that vividly – I was asked “why didn’t you get a 100, Terrie”. I couldn’t understand why that was the response instead of joy and happiness at the 98 I had achieved.

Think before you speak. I imagine you give that advice to your kids all the time but do you practice what you preach?

If not, maybe you should start. Remember that the beliefs that your children will grow up embracing will have come from you. This has a tremendous bearing on their lives and ability to achieve success in life. Do your best to help them now.

Terrie

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Are You Giving Power To An External Object?

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Sun in control This follows on the post I wrote on Sunday about what mattered most. If you remember, I was disappointed that the store didn’t have the chicken when I went in to get lunch.

What was I doing – other than making myself miserable for no good reason at all?

I was giving power to something outside myself – the chicken, the store, my lunch – all stuff that is out of my control. And which doesn’t really matter anyway in the grand scheme of things. But I was allowing these external objects or forces to control what I was thinking and feeling.

Why? Well, probably because it’s a habit.  I wanted my chicken and expected the store to have the chicken ready when I wanted it.  By itself there is nothing wrong with wanting that. What is wrong is when my happiness is tied to the fulfillment of that expectation – I’ll be happy if the store has the chicken ready and I won’t be happy if the store doesn’t have it ready or they are out of it at the time I go in. I hope you realize I’m baring my soul to you guys because this is really really really stupid. But I do it all the time. I give away the power to be happy – to a store and worse yet to a piece of chicken. You have to admit, it’s pretty funny as well as being stupid. So I hope you’ve gotten some laugh from it.

However, now that you’re done laughing, ask yourself if there is (or are) anything in your life that you are giving power to.

For example, do you think that if you sleep wrong, you’ll get a crick in your neck? Or if you’re under the cold air for a certain amount of time, you’ll “catch” a cold? Or that it’s something in your diet that’s affecting you?

All of these things are external to you. You are giving power to them. It is NOT a universal law or rule that you’ll “catch” a cold if you sit under the air conditioner. If it were a universal rule, EVERYONE would get sick, not just you or select others.  external powerWhen you are “sensitive to” or “allergic to” some food item, you have already given power to that food item and your body has developed its own set of rules regarding that food. Again, however, if that food caused sensitivities, then EVERYONE would have problems with the food.  I realize that is a concept that will go against many people’s beliefs. But remember that a belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over. So, I’m just asking that you look at what you depend on to make yourself happy.

Do you find yourself in a bad mood when your spouse or other relative or friend have a bad day or you’ve had an argument with them? I’m not saying that you should try to show them up and tell them how happy you are despite their terrible loss or bad day or whatever. But, let’s say you don’t get what you’ve hinted at for Valentine’s Day. Should this ruin your day? Should this make you feel as if you did something wrong or that you’re not worth anything? You were happy before you found out what you got for Valentine’s Day. Why would the presence or absence of a specific gift change your happiness? Remember the chicken?

Your feelings should not be dependent on other people either. For you to be happy, you do not need to have others around you be happy. You can feel successful and abundant no matter the state and thoughts of anyone else. Do NOT let someone or something else take your power away. You have control of yourself. Do not give that control and power away. When you start to react to something or someone, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself if your reaction/response is putting the power in something external? If so, pull back and ask why you are doing that and then ask whether you want to give up that control. I bet your answer will be no.

It’s just a matter of awareness. Pay attention – you don’t want to be sick so why let a undetectable virus cause you harm. You do NOT have to give your power over to that tiny external object unless you want to. Is that what you want? Is that what you’ve done all your life? Is this where some of your limiting beliefs are centered? Be aware of your limiting beliefs and then see how many of them are related to external forces. Once you’re aware, you can change. Don’t let the 11 o’clock news impact your sleep so that you aren’t rested and that your “worry centers” are activated. Either don’t watch the news or make sure that you deny that any of it is your truth or state that it no longer has to be your truth. Being aware of what is affecting you and what has affected you in the past will change your life more than you can imagine.

Terrie

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Friday The 13th – What’s In Your Belief System?

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custom_calendar_11443 It’s not even Halloween and we have a “Friday the 13th”! But fortunately it’s not also a full moon. I will tell you that the full moon does bring the “weird” out – after all those years in an Emergency Room, you can always tell when it’s a full moon by the activity in the ER. I”m sure most of you have experienced the same thing. But what about Friday the 13th (no matter what month it happens in)? What’s up with that? Interestingly, the superstition around it is found primarily since 1900. That’s not very old. But there are estimates according to Wikipedia (take that for what it’s worth) that between 17-21 MILLION people are affected by a fear of this day, making it the most feared day there fri 13th1is.

Are you affected by this and other superstitions? If so, why? When did you first become aware of any type of “issue” with Friday the 13th (or seeing black cats or walking under ladders or any other superstition we embrace)? The origin for you will be different than the origin of the person sitting next to you. Often it’s built on a story and we all know that children (and many adults) revel in stories. Often, older siblings like to torture the younger with horror stories. If told enough times and by the “right” people, then this story will become embedded in your subconscious and will become a belief. Remember  that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over (Abraham-Hicks). Wouldn’t it be sad if you found out that this superstition you’ve had all these years, whether it’s about Friday the 13th or some other one, was instilled in you simply because someone kept telling you the same story over and over again?

The point is NOT to make you feel badly because you have some superstition but it’s to make you examine your beliefs closely and not be afraid to ask “where the heck did I get that idea from?” And then go deep within to see if it came from your parents, your siblings, looking_in_dug_hole_400_clr_6593 teachers, religious leaders, friends etc. You have to be willing to examine these things. But let’s say you do look closely but you can’t figure out where an idea/belief came from. Then what? Does that make it true? Not necessarily. It may mean that you just can’t remember who or what was responsible for you thinking that way. Sometimes it’s too painful to come up with the results. You then have to look at the belief and say to yourself “Do I want to continue believing that? Is that in my value system?” If so, great, just move on. If not, then we can start working on clearing the old believe and replacing it with the new belief. We have and will continue to talk more about how to do that in other posts.

But for now, try to look at today, Friday the 13th, as a great day and a day when nothing but GOOD LUCK prevails in your life. Declare everything good that happens no matter what it is! Try it and see what happens.

Terrie

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Don’t Watch Your Life Pass You By

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Are you trying to get somewhere in life? Would you like to change your direction and go where YOU want to go? I know I want to be in control of where I’m going and what I’m doing in life. I imagine you are like that too. But, perhaps you’ve tried so many times before and you just feel as if you’re stuck on the busy highway that life has you on and you just can’t get off that highway or even make a turn down another street.

Perhaps you’ve seen “The Secret” and “tried” it for awhile. But “it” didn’t work.

I’m not sure what you think didn’t work but usually it’s people thinking that the Law of Attraction didn’t work.  I have breaking news for you though. The Law of Attraction is just that – it’s a Law – it’s always working. The Laws of the Universe are not like the human laws we have (and break constantly thinking they are there for other people or for when you have more time). Think about the Law of Gravity for example – can you ever think of a time where you told something you let go out of your hand not to drop to the floor – and had it work? You may wish as you see things falling that it wasn’t doing that but inevitably we see the object on the floor (or counter or wherever it landed). No matter what you do, the Law of Gravity works. Half the time we don’t pay attention to the fact that it’s a Law and we don’t think about whether it’s working or not. We KNOW it’s working so we’re careful about holding onto things so they don’t drop.

Why do you think the Law of Attraction is different? Because we didn’t learn about it in school or in Physics or some other class when we were growing up? Why? Because we don’t want to admit that we have attracted ALL situations we’ve experienced in our lives? That’s kind of uncomfortable for us now. But what if we had been taught this as children? Perhaps we would have been able to learn to work with the Law and it would not seem so foreign now as adults. If you have children, consider exposing them to this Law and how it works while they are young – they will embrace it alot more too.

Why is it so hard to understand and believe in the Law of Attraction? I think it’s because we do not want to acknowledge and admit that we’ve created many of the situations and events that have developed in our lives. It’s much easier to just go on and say that it was “fate” or “it was meant to be” or it was “because…… (and you can fill in the blanks)”.  If something bad has happened, it’s very hard to tell the world that we brought that horrible thing into our lives. Who wants to brag about that…welll perhaps those who are into “drama” and “pity parties” – but they don’t even realize that they are looking for people to attend their pity party and they want the best entertainment of all – “my story is worse than your story. You can’t top what’s happened to me” – do you know anyone like that. How can you have a pity party if you’ve created terrific things in your life? You can’t. So you draw in the bad things so you can hold your party and celebrate and say “see, I just have this black cloud over my head.” Does this ring any bells?

Many people want to own up to and acknowledge the good things and take credit for bringing the good things into our lives but you know what? If you’re willing to accept that you created the great things in your life, you HAVE to accept (and admit) that you brought the  other things into your life – those not so good things – the things you don’t want to brag about.  You can’t have one without the other.

Bottom line – you attract what you focus on.

Take a minute and think about what you are concentrating on the most during your day. Then identify the emotions associated with those thoughts. It’s the emotions that are key to everything! You must be in vibrational sync with the things you want.

You can’t be saying “I am a millionaire” and expect it to work when

  • Most of the rest of the time you’re worried about (or thinking about) paying the bills
  • You can’t even conceive of having a million dollars because you only make $30,000 a year now
  • You have a belief that “Rich people are not trustworthy or are greedy or are snobs etc” – what are your beliefs about rich people or about millionaires.

So we have a few issues here that get in the way of creating the life we want:

  • What you’re focused on all the time – we have to pay attention to this and get vibrationally (and emotionally) into the space of thinking about what you really want
  • What you can conceive of – similar to what you’re focused on
  • Your beliefs are getting in the way and you don’t even know about it

It’s easier to work through the emotions and the feelings part of focusing than it is to get at all the beliefs we have that are buried and need to be cleared before we move along and plant/nurture the empowering beliefs.

Your beliefs are like your computer’s operating system and they make you tick without any conscious effort. Right now pay attention to your breathing – it’s weird isn’t it? You breathe all the time without conscious effort -even when you’re exerting yourself your breathing increases as your body needs it to, not because you’ve decided to breathe faster or harder. Same goes with your heart beating – if your heart had to wait for you to consciously tell it to beat, you’d be in deep trouble. That’s kind of like the Law of Attraction. It’s working whether you know it or not. I don’t know if you have ever been exposed to biofeedback or not but that is a technique that enables you to control your basic body system functions – breathing, heart rate, blood pressure. It takes a lot of effort and conscious effort at that. But you can work with your body functions just like you can work with the Law of Attractions.

I want to keep focusing on limiting beliefs and transforming them into empowering beliefs. So hang in there with me and we’ll do the work as we go along.  The first task will be to identify those beliefs and decide whether you want to continue to believe them.

Terrie