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Dr. Terrie Wurzbacher

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How We Let Things Derail Us (Traffic, Lights, Other Drivers, Long Lines, etc)

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derailed1Have you ever noticed that you’re in a great mood and then all of a sudden you plummet and the anger, frustration, or impatience just hits and BAM! you’re down in the dumps or at least on some other track?

This can happen so easily. You can spend a rewarding early morning with your spouse and kids or exercising and then head on to work. Even if you’re not running late when you get stopped at one of those traffic lights, you let it get to you. Then, with even “worse luck” you hit another red light or someone is driving slow in “your” lane….and on and on and on. It seems that one thing leads to another until, by the time you get to work, you’re in a foul mood. “Why me?” goes through your mind “What did I do today for this to be happening to me?”

Has this ever happened to you? It has me..and unless I catch myself, it’s one big spiral downward. But, if I catch myself, then things can be turned around so easily. How do I do that?

Once I recognize that I’m starting to percolate, I start to look inside for “Kodak Moments” and think about them. I find (in my mind and memory) people I love and care about, events that have made me laugh, jokes that people have told me, or I just look around and start doing a Rampage of Appreciation about the things that are around me. I see how smart people were that created the buildings in the area, how the roads have been structured and intersected, all the different cars that surround me, etc. In our wonderful country it’s never hard to find something to appreciate. It’s amazing how much we take for granted when it’s so easy to simply express appreciation to the Universe for us being able to live here and enjoy everything we have.  Doing a Rampage of Appreciation is the best way to receive more from the Universe – more good instead of the bad thoughts and feelings that were beginning to take over.

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Does It Hurt to Smile?

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does-it-hurt-to-smileHow simple is this question?

How hard is it to implement?

Answer those two questions and your day will be complete. You never know when smiling will make another person think that life is not so bad after all. Or perhaps they might think that they matter if you smile at them. You’d be surprised at how much a simple smile might mean to someone who’s having a very bad day or who might be going through a tough time in their life.

Put a smile on your face. But don’t make it false or phony. Be sincere. Think of something going well in your life and express the joy it’s bringing to you. That joy just might be contagious.  Have you ever felt “down” and then heard a friend’s voice or seen them smile and all of a sudden the world didn’t seem so ominous?  That’s what you can do for others every day.

You don’t need to know what’s going on in the other person’s life just to bring a bit of joy to them. Say hi, smile and show them that you’re glad they are in this world. Say “thank you”, “how are you”, “what’s happening”, etc – talk to them. Many people long for some sort of contact from others. There was a funny movie where the guy ended up being able to read other people’s minds and heard their thoughts constantly. He met an office worker in the hall when what she was carrying fell on the floor. He stopped to help her pick things up.  Later he realized that she was suicidal because she felt so alone. He went to her place and talked to her and completely changed her life. How special is that.

I’m not saying you can read minds but you can change people’s lives with a simple smile, a simple word.

How many people can you help today?

What did your face reflect yesterday?

What do you want it to reflect?

Start smiling right now…betcha can’t keep from doing that.

Have a great day!

Terrie

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Momentum Monday

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momentum-monday1

Your choices of action may be limited—but your choices of thought are not.

—Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop: Chicago, IL on May 25, 2002

Remember this short sentence this week! It’s so powerful. This is what has gotten many POWs through their long periods of captivity – knowing that they can think whatever they choose to think even if they are confined to a very small space.

I would bet that you’re not confined to that small a space right now. I would also bet that sometimes thoughts pop into your head and you just let them sit there and continue on even if they aren’t generating the nice feelings you would like to have right now. Remember that you can control and change those thoughts. Pull from your memory (your Kodak Moments) or create new memories – write your beautiful story in your head.

For example, two weeks before my Tennessee race I dragged my weary body out the door to do a run after doing back to back long runs 2 days prior. I didn’t want to be out there but I had to be. So, instead of thinking about how much I didn’t want to be there, I changed my thoughts to how great it was going to feel when I was doing the event since I had prepared so well. I immediately had more energy whereas I was just barely able to lift my feet a few minutes before. The power of your thoughts is phenomenal.  The better part is that YOU can control them and you are the King or Queen of your own thoughts.

So, now what are you going to do about this. Even if things seem down and out externally, you can still feel good and think other thoughts that make you feel better. Once you start to feel better, your vibration raises and your momentum starts going in the direction you want it to. Then, lo and behold, you will be much more capable of finding solutions rather than focusing on problems.

This week just remember that YOU ARE IN CONTROL! Stop yourself then restart yourself.  Put the thoughts you want into your head. Try it for this week and see where it gets you. Let us know in the comment box.

Terrie

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Where Do I Start?

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square_oneOften I get asked this question – Where do I start?

The first thing I have to ask is “start doing what?” I need to know what you’re after, what your goal is. I can’t tell you how to get to New York if I don’t know a) that you want to go there and b) where you are right now. Sure I could give you general directions to New York City but that would be my determination of where I thought you wanted to go. That’s not what you’re after I’m sure.

So you have to be specific about where you’re headed. Do you know what you want should be the first question. Then you need to know why you want “it”.

Thanks to Michael Hyatt for bringing these questions to my attention. I think they’ll help anyone who is going through any type of uncomfortable “situation” right now. The answers to these questions will help you figure out where you want to go. Sometimes just asking the questions will raise your vibrations and bring you into a much better state. Just as Abraham says – you won’t find the solution as long as you’re focused on the problem. You have to focus on the solution.

The answers we get are often determined by the questions we ask. If we ask bad questions, we will get bad answers. If we ask better questions—empowering questions—we will get better answers.

If you are going through a difficult, uncertain time, here are seven better questions you can ask yourself (and your team which can be defined in any way you want – basically it’s a group of people who are there to book_searching_for_answers_400_clr_12525a support you). You can also just use the questions for any situation you’re in, difficult or not. These questions are great for general life assessment:

  1. What if this isn’t the end but a new beginning? Just asking this question will put you in a better space. It’s always better to think of a beginning than an end. What can you get out of this, what good can come from this situation.
  2. What if the answer to my prayer is just over the next hill? This reminds me of Winston Churchill’s “Don’t ever quit”.  If you stop now, you’ll never know what’s over the hill. What if the hill is just a few hundred feet away and not the miles you think it is. What if it really won’t take the immense amount of effort you think it will? Perception is often said to be reality. You can change your perception of this situation too. You can see that hill as conquerable. You can use the mantra of the ultrarunner – relentless forward motion. Keep on going.
  3. What if this is necessary in order for me to be prepared for the next important chapter in my life? This can be a scary question to answer. But it’s important. When you were ready to start school, you didn’t just start with college did you? You had to build up to that. Similarly, life events teach you about the next step and help you learn to take that step.
  4. What if God (or the Universe if you prefer) knows exactly what I need at this particular time? Again Abraham says that the Universe brings you everything you ask for. But there is the Law of Gestation that I keep talking about. I tell you that if you plant an acorn you can’t dig it up ever day and ask “where’s the oak tree”. But, you also can’t just plant it and keep food and water from it and expect it to grow. There are things that are needed to support that gestation. Same with bringing you what you want. There are steps and the Universe knows what those steps are. Have faith in that.
  5. What does this experience make possible? This is a really important question to ask.  Does it force you to slow down? To re-evaluate your life? To stop spending so much time at work? To spend more time with your family? Does it give you the opportunity and time to write and be creative – to do something you’ve wanted to do for so long? What can you do because of this situation that you were putting off or just “didn’t get to”
  6. What will I be telling my grandchildren that I learned was so valuable in this season of my life? Or if you don’t have grandchildren, what will you write in your memoirs. Another way to look at it is what would you like people to remember about you?

Take these 6 questions and write out the answers. Be serious about it. Date your page (or write in your journal). Write down how you feel and what vibrational state are you in before you start answering the questions. Then take as long as you need to answer them. At the end, record how you feel. Is there a difference? Do you feel as if life is more manageable at this point? What did you learn just from answering the questions? Where do you want to head now?

Use these questions as your starting point. They help with clarity for moving forward instead of staying stuck where you are right now.

Let me know if you enjoy answering the questions.

Terrie

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Is Worry In Your Way?

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anxious_scared_figure_400_clr_8434I realized last Saturday that I was letting all my worry about many different things get in the way of my enjoying life and actually making me miserable. What a cruddy way to be living day to day.

What was I worried about? It’s all around my upcoming race in July – the one across the state of Tennessee. I was worried about my gear – which pack should I use? How can I make it lighter? What shoes should I wear? Was I going to get blisters? What if my feet swelled so much so that the shoes no longer worked? What if I couldn’t handle the heat and sun? What if this, what if that? You name it, I could worry about it.

I was doing two long runs every weekend – it had gotten so that I was looking forward to going to work on Monday – can’t say as I ever thought that way before.

I finally had a realization. Why the heck was I worrying so much? Here I am telling people that the whole purpose of life is to experience joy and that we can and should experience it NOW, NOT when whatever it is we’re after manifests itself. And I was doing just what I was preaching against. What a hypocrite.

Despite not wanting to be a hypocrite, I also didn’t like not enjoying where I was right then and there – or more accurately – here and now. I have been looking forward to this run for a year now and here I was making myself miserable as the time drew nearer. I was creating all the bad things that could possibly happen just by worrying. And what good was worrying going to do anyway? Preparation is not the same as worrying.

I knew what I had to do. I knew that I had been down for the count for 9 weeks and although that bothered me and I was concerned that it put me behind the eight ball, training wise, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it at this point. So why keep dwelling on it (aka “worrying”). Did that improve my endurance? Of course not. All I could do was do what I was able to do right now.

What good was worrying about how hot it might be, or how heavy my pack was? Ok, thinking about these two things led me to be able to prepare – I trained in the heat of the day to try to get acclimatized. I wore my pack with all the gear and water I would be carrying for 10 days. That’s preparation. There was no need to worry because there was not a darn thing else I could do and worrying would not make it cooler in Tennessee nor would it help me acclimatize to anything other than more worry.  I think we’re all pretty acclimatized to that – we do it without even knowing that we’re doing it.

So, all worry could do would be to make me miserable and not enjoy my time leading up to the race. And it put me in a negative vibrational state and great things do NOT come when you’re in such a state. I was likely to attract things I didn’t want.

I simply decided to think about the variables and plan appropriately and then enjoy what I was doing. When a problem arose or something that I needed to deal with, I expressed gratitude and appreciation that it had come up prior to the run so that I really could deal with it. That is preparation. There was nothing negative in it at all. I went about enjoying the two days I had left with long runs. Instead of wishing I was home doing something else, I concentrated on the event and how great it was going to be to participate and meet other folks – both runners and those along the way.

I stopped worrying about “what if I don’t finish?” knowing that I would do the best I could and whatever happened, happened. I would only quit if things were really bad for me (injury that would prevent continuing). I was in this to find out what I was made of and that was what would happen. I was not going to lose my job or my pride if I didn’t finish. All of the other people in my normal life wouldn’t even consider trying it. There was no “face” to lose. Just do the best you can, Terrie. And that’s what will happen. I visualize the outcome and that’s what’s important.

If worry is in your way, take a different look at it.  Worry is also a form of fear so look at your fears and find out if you’re really “worried” (socially acceptable) or “afraid” (not so much acceptable).  Are your fears realistic? If so, are they something that would keep you from accomplishing your goal? If so, then reconsider the goal. If not, then acknowledge them and put them aside.

  • Remember why you’re doing what it is you’re doing.
  • Feel the joy that the achievement of this goal will bring.
  • Plan and prepare. Look at any event/thought/obstacle that comes up as part of your preparation. Don’t focus on it, work on it.
  • Enjoy what you are doing right now.

Terrie