Category Archives: Feelings

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What Matters Most?

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iStock_000014201661Small I was in Whole Foods yesterday looking to get my lunch – I’m a creature of habit so my lunch is always a salad and chicken.  I go to the salad bar first and then to another section to get the hot chicken. Easy, right? How much more simple can it get?

But lately there must have been a change in the management or something because the selections have changed (not to my liking, of course) and frequently they don’t have chicken.

Well, yesterday was a double whammy – there was no spinach so I put the other components in the box, knowing I had plenty of spinach at home and could use that. Things were not so bad at that point. I headed off to the “smoked” bar (no, not that kind of bar) and on the way I wanted to get some more protein powder but they didn’t have the size that I wanted so I didn’t get that. By the time I got to where the chicken should have been I was already bummed out. Then I found out I was too early for the chicken (if they even had it that day) because only one item was out on the display. So, my whole day was ruined – wasn’t it?

It could have been “ruined” if I’d let it. And I was starting to let it get to me. But then I went to get my weekly supply of Salmon jerky and one of the guys who is so pleasant waited on me and we talked a bit so my disappointment was a bit further back in my mind.  Then I headed to the checkout line.

It was a bit busy so I scanned the checkers (I have my favorites – going to Whole Foods is like a ritual for me – stop laughing). I didn’t see anyone I knew so I decided on the lane closest to the door. But as I was walking toward it, I heard “Terrie, I’m open”. I looked up and it was one of my favorite people (she’s a runner too). We had a great conversation, as usual, and laughed a lot. It was fun and uplifting. Contact with these folks is great. Some of them have even become friends.

I left Whole Foods feeling great!

Much different than I was feeling just a few minutes prior. Why?

What matters most? Whether or not a certain object or food was in stock and available OR interaction with a human being – where you might learn something about someone or you might even cheer them up and make them happy? Which lasts longer? The object? The feeling you get from being with others? Of course it’s the feeling and emotions you have when you interact with others. The food is just that, food. It will be ingested and be gone. Same if it were an object.

So next time you’re feeling disappointed by something, examine what it is that’s disappointed you and go find someone to interact with (email, phone, text, talk – just be with a living being) and be grateful for their being in your life and bringing you love, joy, satisfaction. See how long the feelings last and how you feel all day long. I bet it will be alot longer than if they had the “object” you were initially disappointed in.

Always ask “What matters most?”

Terrie

 

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Are You An Emotional Hoarder?

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Conceptual image of young businessman choosing which face expresIt’s been in the past few years that the TV show “The Hoarders” has aired and become a big hit. I think that when we watch that show, it’s for one of a couple of reasons:

  • To reinforce that we actually are “normal” and we don’t do things like that,
  • To see if the junk we have around us would constitute hoarding to the professionals, and make us feel better if ours is not messy,
  • Just to see how others live – “How could they possibly live like that?” (isn’t this part of the basis for all reality TV shows?)

I’m sure there are many other reasons for watching the show. Some people just want to see people who are messed up in life. I think it makes them feel their lot in life is better than those they are watching and it’s important (unfortunately) that we feel better than someone else – it feeds our self-worth even though it shouldn’t.

But I digress (what else is new).

It’s easy to spot hoarding when it comes to physical items – you can see them. But I would bet that most of you who are reading this are “emotional hoarders”. I can hear you muttering to yourself right now “what the heck are you talking about Terrie?”

Right this minute I ask you to take a few seconds (or it may take you a bit longer) and look around you. What emotions come up when you look at certain things, people, places? What memories do you have right now? What emotions are associated with these memories.

 

Here’s the Mayo Clinic definition of “hoarding”:

Hoarding is the excessive collection of items, along with the inability to discard them. Hoarding often creates such cramped living conditions that homes may be filled to capacity, with only narrow pathways winding through stacks of clutter.

They also go on to say:

People who hoard often don’t see it as a problem, making treatment challenging.

Emotional hoarding involves the excessive collection of emotions but more importantly the second part of the above definition applies here – “The inability to DISCARD them”.  With emotional hoarding your minds become filled to capacity with only narrow pathways through the clutter of your mind. Some people continue to amass their emotions to the point where there is absolutely no movement through the clutter.

Even more with emotional hoarding is the problem of people not seeing that they have a problem. I bet your first response was “no way, you’re full of it Terrie.” But if you’re honest with yourself and examine how much anger, resentment, hurt, bad feelings, jealousy, envy, bitterness, greed, negativity etc are cluttering up your mind, you’ll begin to see at least some of the problem.

This is one reason we put so much emphasis on clearing, whether you use denials, Hoʻoponopono, the Sedona method, EFT or any other clearing method. Identifying and clearing are so vital not only for getting rid of your limiting beliefs but also getting rid of these useless emotions. They really are useless – what good do they serve you?

Resentment is one of the most damaging (physically speaking) emotions there is. Resentment is usually deep seated and when you don’t release it, it can cause a myriad of complaints and problems, including cancer. What happens when you harbor resentment? It eats at you, right? Well, what do you think cancer does? Look at people you know who have had cancer and see if you can spot any resentment in their lives. If you can’t, then ask how well you know them.

We’ll look at this issue more in the upcoming months but I wanted you to start 2014 looking at yourself and the emotions that are swirling around inside of you, taking up space that keeps you from being happy.

Terrie

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What’s The Perfect Gift?

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christmas_star_banner_13543With Christmas a day behind us, now the hustle and bustle to return gifts and then prepare for the New Year begins. Yet, there is one gift you cannot (and should not) return – the gift of friendship, the gift of love and kindness.

This year has been filled with so many different accomplishments, events and new people in my life – things I never ever envisioned for the year.  The entire took a complete 360 degree turn and seemed out of control but in actuality it all had a purpose and was aimed in the right direction for me.  I learned a lot about myself, a lot about people, a lot about friendship and even more about metaphysics as the year unfolded.

Of everything that transpired this past year, what I learned and experienced about friendship was the most important. From people I didn’t yet know to those whom I’ve known for years the value of their friendship became so important to me as the year went by.  I found out that some people are just interested in appearing to be friends but don’t really care whether you live or die whereas others really care and will do anything they can to support you when you need it. They are willing to stand by you no matter what happens.  For the first time in my life I ran across sociopaths and was “taken” by them.  I was hurt to the quick – the power of the sociopath is amazing. But as my heart recovered from the betrayal I found other people who were true in honesty and integrity and were virtuous beyond compare. Boy did I learn the true meaning of comparing “apples and oranges”.

But the friendships that came from the betrayal were solidified by them as well. They were made stronger because of the betrayal. We all moved past the hurt and into other realms of existence. More powerful and happy realms. As long as we learned from our experiences, those experiences were not bad. Their intensity died out as time went by and the power of the true bonds grew.  I am grateful for everything that happened this past year. It definitely was a year of growth and love.

Enjoy those who are around you because you never know when things will change in a split second. My other friendships were of that nature and we all learned to value each and every minute of our lives because you don’t know what lies ahead – and by ahead I mean a couple of hours or even minutes. Take this to heart even though you hear it all the time. Always consider how much you really care about someone before you open your mouth in anger or in hurt. You don’t know what your next words (if you get that chance) will be. Illness and injury strike without notice.  Love everyone around you and keep them around you – and most of all, let them know that they are loved.

Also love yourself and take care of yourself. This is essential. If you do not take care of yourself, you won’t be able to live life to its fullest; you won’t be able to fight off the bad times; and most of all you won’t be able to give to others. So, make your first priority yourself and your health.

Think back on this year and use the events and accomplishments as marking points for what you’ve learned about people and friends in your life!

Terrie

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God Has Four Legs & A Wet Nose

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5088-71929905-d07befbaLittle did I know when I wrote yesterday’s post about a daily “To Be” list, that I’d be tested with the really tough ones today. But today I had to be compassionate and unselfish – and it was NOT easy.

My best friend in the world is now visiting with her sister, Crystal and my other babies (Bandit and Bashful). Her quality of life has been a question constantly in my mind for the last few months but she still enjoyed eating and even going for short walks – she would want to go further but her body didn’t handle that too well.  She would get out of bed when she wanted to and could get up on the bed at will without problems. But this a.m. when I got up and went looking for her (there were thunderstorms all night so it wasn’t surprising she was not in bed) she was unable to bear much weight on her hindlegs and pretty much had to scoot around. I knew it was finally “time”. The only other sign she could have given me would have been to die at home here peacefully. But things aren’t always supposed to be easy for us.

I knew that much as I do not want to be alone, I had to let her go. So we made the lonely trek to the emergency Vet to have her euthanized.

How do you survive the loss of your best friend? I don’t know but I know I will survive, albeit not very happily. Time heals all wounds they say and although I have been through this before, it’s no easier. I take that back, I guess this one was a tiny bit easier because her condition was chronic and she had been deteriorating. But being easy to make a decision is not the same as feeling any less pain.

There has to be something sublime or beneficial from this but Lord knows I can’t think of anything right now. Maybe later….

But that’s all for now. Time for tears.

Terrie

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Wow Am I Blessed!

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Can you imagine my surprise (and happiness) when my wonderful trainer, Dan, brought me into the office and showed me this! And then said it was for me – at first I thought it was something he had won but then I saw my name! This is, perhaps, the most meaningful gift I’ve ever received because this is from the one person who went through all the trials and tribulations with me to get me through all my endurance events. It was because of him that I could truly embody what he says I embody and inspire.

Dan has changed my life in so many ways in the two years I’ve been working with him now. He is always upbeat and supportive and never ever lets any of us down. He even went to the New York City Marathon when I had decided not to go due to Superstorm Sandy. But he gave me the courage to prepare for that event and to know that I could do it if I had gone. Just in case you missed the whole story, he did definitely get something out of it – he got engaged to a wonderful woman who is the perfect match for him. 302890_4413659232773_1324206015_n

He then supported me and trained me to build the muscle, courage and fearlessness to do two 50 milers and two 100 milers in the space of a few short months. I’m no easy person to deal with when I’m not stressed out for a big event that will fulfill a 15 year dream so you can imagine how much fun he had seeing me 3 times a week during that entire period. Yet, he was always there encouraging me and telling me I could do it.

Then he showed up in the middle of the night for my first 100 mile  event and cheered me on in a way I’ve never been supported before.

He is such a good, honest and wholesome man that I often feel as if I don’t deserve to have him as my trainer or friend. And then when I realize he’s stuck with me, I thank God for all my great and wonderful blessings and he is pretty close to number 1 on that list of blessings.

He even created this saying and it has brought tears to my eyes several times since I received this beautiful gift. His words mean more than anything and could have just stood alone but when you combine them with the beauty of this statue, there is nothing better.

Here’s what he wrote!

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Thank you Dan!

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